Foolish Games
by scrubly-degrassily-everlarkily
Summary: Clare and Eli are still together after graduating from Degrassi. His mental state is questionable at best, but Clare stands by him faithfully. How will a pregnancy play into their dysfunctional relationship? Mush, violence, smut.
1. Late Night Contemplation

Eli Goldsworthy is insane. I've known it since the moment we first met. Something in his eyes, in his smile… There's a fire burning inside of him that almost nothing can put out. Not even my warmest smile or tightest hug. If anything, my love fuels the fires of his psychosis.

He's confirmed his insanity to me time after time, but I can't seem to stay away.

He loves me one moment, hates me the next. His hate is so extreme that it brings me to my knees in utter agony. It brings sobs to my throat that makes me choke and panic and curl up into myself in complete devastation. His lack of regard for my heart can be so poisonous and earth-shattering. In seconds, he can leave me in shambles, suffering at the blow of his words.

My pain always seems to bring him back to reality, though. My tears snap him out of the rage and back into my heart, my arms. He sees my tears and he cries his own. He feels my pain. He feels guilt and self-loathing and regret. He looks me in the eyes and always says the same, worn-out line…

"I did this to you. How could I do this to you?"

He rocks me back and forth and whispers apologies in my ringing ears. He gently runs a hand through my hair…

"Clare… I love you too much. Too much."

I know what he means. Love can make normal people do the most bizarre things, like jump off of 5 story buildings and travel the world and change their life's plans. Love is so powerful.

Love makes normal people crazy. And like I said, Eli is insane.

Love is a powerful narcotic to Eli. It powers his life source. It makes his decisions for him. Logic is lost on him when his heart is swollen with love. Affection. Lust. Possession… Obsession.

I love Eli, but I'm not quite as irrational as him…

Despite my rationality, some may see me at this very moment and think that Clare Edwards has all but lost her mind.

I'm sitting on my windowsill, my feet dangling below me in the more-than-chilly Canadian air. The stuffed panda bear that Eli gave me on our 2-year anniversary is gripped safely under my right armpit. I live in a second story room, so I know it's an odd site to see, a girl sitting in her window with a toy. Luckily, it's also 3am and nobody has been by in hours…

I know, I'm not doing much to plead my sanity here, but I think I have a perfectly acceptable reason to be up here, staring out into the big bad world…

I crush my stuffed panda bear between my arms and let out a dry laugh. I'm 18 years old. My life is certifiably insane, as is my boyfriend. Eli and I have come such a long way, yet it seems like we're still young, naïve kids sometimes…

I wonder who Eli is right now… Is he in love with me? Is he my Eli? My sweet, loving Eli?

Or is he the Eli that will yell, scream, avoid eye contact and make me feel like the smallest, most insignificant piece of trash in his complex world?

If I call him right now and beg him to come over, will he run to me without a second thought? My Eli would do anything for me.

Or will he ignore my calls and texts? Will he act like I'm not important? Will he deflect my love because he's so afraid of screwing up, of hurting me, of being hurt? It's so hard to tell who he will be on any given day.

Quite frankly, being with Eli is exhausting. We've been on and off for the past three years, emphasis on the off part. This time, we've been together for a year and a month without breaking up. That's astronomical for our relationship. And when Eli is himself and is treating me like a princess, I'm happy and grateful and optimistic for our future and our current streak of not breaking up.

But when he's the other Eli, I pray that God will give me the strength to leave him and never come back.

I've obviously not been granted that divine strength yet, but perhaps next time I'm sobbing on the ground and Eli is screaming at me, God will pick me up and carry me away.

That probably won't ever happen. It would be even harder to leave Eli now…

Which brings me to my perfectly acceptable excuse for sitting in my window at 3am.

I, Clare Edwards, am having a baby.

There, I said it.

I'm unmistakably, undeniably pregnant with Eli Goldsworthy's baby. I confirmed this terrifying reality by peeing on 5 pregnancy tests last night and getting 5 little pink plus signs from every unholy one of them.

Crazy, unstable, insane Eli is the father of my unborn child. Eli, who crashed his own hearse in a fit of panicked desperation, is going to be a father. The same Eli who breaks my heart and fixes it over and over again, is the Eli who will hold a little life in his arms, a little life that we created together.

Terrifying and beautiful thoughts…

The wind is picking up and my bare feet are white and freezing. People are starting to pass with a higher frequency now. I have no idea how long I've been out here, what time it is, or what I'm going to do when I climb back into my room. These moments on the roof are my last moments to think before I make a decision. How am I going to tell Eli?

You may think that I'm oddly calm and level-headed, given my terrifying circumstances. I just don't think it's hit me yet. I can say the words aloud, but they aren't registering with the rest of me.

I just want Eli to hold me, to rock me back and forth and to make me forget those 5 unholy pink plus signs.

I climb back into my room and grab the phone off of my bedside table. It's now 6:27 a.m. It's Saturday.

It's time to find out which Eli he is today.

As I dial the number, I say a silent prayer and swallow back nervous bile.

Here. We. Go.

_**Well, I've been awake all night and the inspiration for this hit me like a ton of bricks. Thoughts? Suggestions? This is definitely not a one-shot and will probably have close to 30 or 40 detailed chapters. There will be a lot of drama. A LOT OF DRAMA. I tend to like angsty romance and cutesy drama, so keep reading if you like that. Please review and such so I can know if people are actually reading/enjoy. Thanks so much!**_

_**Vann**_


	2. Like a Ton of Bricks

_**AN: The tensing in the first paragraph was confusing me. I hope it doesn't confuse you too.**_

"Um…hello?" Eli sleep-whispers into the phone. He sounds groggy and confused, but not angry like the other Eli. Clare feels strength growing in her as his voice calms her down. She keeps trying to stay positive, trying to believe that he will be there with her, holding her hand and helping her through the hardships of pregnancy. She knows it won't be an easy experience, but perhaps Eli could make it easier on her.

She was about to find out.

"Hi, Eli… Good morning." Clare tried her very best to sound normal, but she knew that she had majorly failed.

"Clare, it's like 6am. What's wrong?" Eli asked, not sounding irritated in the least. Clare was happy. She could deal with this Eli. She could love and care for this worried Eli. Worried Eli would hold her hand and help her through this.

She took a deep, refreshing breath and sighed into the phone. "I need you now. Will you come?"

"Anything for you, Blue eyes. I'll see you in ten." The click on the other side both comforted and terrified Clare. He was coming over. He was happy.

She was about to turn his complicated world even more upside-down.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

I saw the hearse pull up to the curb in front of my house, and suddenly my strength and confidence were gone. Eli stepped out from the driver's side and I caught sight of his magnificent eyes. His hair was messy, as if he'd jumped out of bed and rushed to my side. He really does care about me.

Will he care about our baby that much?

_Baby. OUR baby._

I may vomit.

I'll just stare at him lustfully instead. Eli is the most attractive guy I've ever seen in my life. All of his instability and anger just melts away from my memories when I see those stunningly profound eyes.

I shake my head and bring myself back to reality. My lust for him is what got me into this situation anyway.

His lust played a part, too, but it was ultimately my giving in that led us to this fateful day.

Sex: A complicated beauty in my world. A stressful, hot, beautiful, terrifying aspect of my relationship with Eli. Sex with Eli was fantastic… Mind-blowing even. The concept is so unmistakably intimate and breath-taking. The way he moves inside of me, like it'll fix everything, keeps me running back for more.

They used to call me Saint Clare, back in high school.

In college, nobody really knows my name. I'm not a saint, a sinner, a slut, anything. I'm just another young woman sitting amongst waves of unfamiliar faces. I prefer it that way. It's easier to be nobody than to be somebody with expectations on their shoulders.

Eli and I attend George Brown University together. We commute there together on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The rest of the week, we work. Eli works at a repair shop a few miles from my house and I'm a waitress at a restaurant called Lakeview. The tips are great and I get a good amount of hours. He makes good money at the shop. We could easily get an apartment together with our incomes. Easily. We have a joint bank account with 3000 dollars in it. I easily have another two grand in rare coins and in my personal bank account. I'm sure Eli has some more stashed, too. We work hard. We have money.

We are going to be okay.

We can move in together and take care of our child together. He's 19. At least we are adults with jobs.

We'll be okay.

Right?

…Ugh.

What if he doesn't want that? What if he doesn't want this life? What if my Eli disappears and the other Eli comes back? What if he yells and screams and tells me that there is nothing in his life he wants less than to raise a child with me?

I'm back to that "going to vomit" feeling.

I snap out of my trance to the door opening.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Clare?" he called from the door, worry plastered on his face. "Where are you?"

"Right here, Eli." She was literally standing two feet away from him. She caught him off-guard and he jumped back a bit.

"Shit… You scared me." He let out a chuckle and walked over to her. He pecked her cheek tenderly and held his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, breathing in her scent and her presence. "What do you need, beautiful?"

Every word comforted her more. He was having a good day. He was the Eli that she was madly in love with. They were going to be okay.

"You. I just need you, Eli." Clare hugged him tightly and held back the welling tears in her eyes. "I love you."

Eli pushed her away a bit and stared into her eyes. His voice deepened seriously and his face fell. "I love you too. What's wrong, baby?"

The nickname wasn't one that Eli ever used. He wasn't usually like that. He liked her real name. The use of the word "baby" was more than Clare could handle. He knew something was wrong. He knew that she needed him to be sweet, to make her feel comforted. Her hormones were raging with a fury that she didn't quite understand. Clare started to cry frantically into his shoulder. She gripped him as tightly as she could, clinging onto him as if he was her source of life and sustainability. Eli returned the hug securely and protectively. He was shaking; scared out of his mind by the way Clare was acting.

The reality of her situation had finally registered with her mind, her heart and every other part of her.

"Tell me what's wrong." He begged her. "Please?"

Her knees weakened and she practically fell to the ground. She was absolutely powerless with the fear and devastation of the situation. She curled herself up into a ball and buried her face. He knelt down next to her, feeling panicked and nauseous.

_What could cause her to cry like this? _Eli wracked his brain._ Clare is not irrationally emotional. Why is she so-_

Then he realized it. She had vomited in class on Thursday. She was nauseous a lot. She hadn't had her period, which they chalked up to stress. But he didn't question the vomiting or lack of appetite. It hadn't occurred to him what may have been painfully obvious to Clare. He was too wrapped up in his little world to contemplate her symptoms. But now, as he held her shaking, unstable body in his arms, he knew exactly why she had called him over there at six-something in the morning on a Saturday.

"You're pregnant." Eli croaked, rubbing her back with his one hand and wiping her tears with the other. Clare felt her throat close up and her heart pound in her chest. She looked up at him, shocked at his guess and the accuracy of it. How did he know?

She stopped crying and just looked up at her Eli. He didn't look angry or panicked. His features were flat and calm.

Clare cleared her throat and tried to form words. She couldn't. Instead, she nodded at him and started to cry again.

"Oh my God, Clare. You really are." Eli grabbed her and pulled her as close to his body as he could. Her warm breath tickled his neck and her tears wetted his black t-shirt. "We're having a baby…This is… Oh my God."

Clare felt dizzy. The room was spinning and her eyes were blackening. She couldn't get enough air into her. She desperately tried to breath, but just couldn't. "Eli… I'm gonna faint."

"Clare, take a deep breath. Focus on me." Eli eased her onto her back and grabbed her face. "You're having a panic attack. Clare! Look at me."

She looked up at him, the father of her unborn baby. It was all too real for her now. She closed her eyes and let the darkness kidnap her. The sweet, dark serenity greeted her and she was without a care.

_**This story will be of the drawn-out variety. I tend to write with a lot of detail. I want it to be a like a book, not like a quick synopsis of events. Like I said, there will be probably 30-40 chapters with a lot of drama. If that's what you want, then bear with me here. I love reviews and such, and I love writing, so let me know how you are feeling. Thanks!**_

_**Vann**_


	3. A Complete 180

_**I hope everybody is enjoying this so far. It will be dripping with drama, so I'm excited.**_

_**I really love writing, so I'm sorry if anybody absolutely hates the story. I'm good with criticism, so don't be afraid to tell me what I'm doing wrong. **_

_**Thanks and enjoy!**_

As Clare came to, she saw Eli staring intently into her eyes, hovering over her with a look on his face of sheer concern and adoration.

"Eli, what's going on?" she whispered, disoriented from her unconsciousness.

"You passed out. You had a panic attack." He shook his head and let out a stressed chuckle. "You scared the living shit out of me." He walked away from her and to the wall, his hands locked behind his head. He looked deep in troublesome thoughts. "Have you had anything to eat today? You really need to eat. I'll make you some toast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Clare, you're going to eat. You passed out and you…you need to eat for the baby." Clare's face got red at the word. Her stomach churned and she felt like she could faint again. "Oh no you don't! I know that look! You aren't doing that again." He rushed over to her and put his cold hand on her forehead. He eased her up off of the floor. Her legs wobbled and Eli carried her, wedding style, to the couch.

Clare couldn't believe how he was treating her. He knew she was pregnant, and he was taking care of her. She'd hoped that this would happen, but she hadn't realistically expected it.

She prayed silently that it would stay this way. His strength would give her strength, but his weakness would tear her apart.

She feared Eli in an inexplicable way. The power he held over her was so immense that it smothered her being and left her but a pawn in his game of life. She didn't think he knew the weight that his attitudes and actions had on her life and her well-being. And that's probably what scared Clare the most; the fact that this man could destroy her with a few reckless words, and he wouldn't even know it.

When his jealousy and insanity kicked in, Eli became a monster that didn't see Clare as a beautiful, smart woman, but a possession that was his, and only his.

She shook the thoughts from her head and tried to replace them with positivity.

_Dammit, Clare! Be positive. Be happy that he's here. Don't jump to paranoid conclusions._

She would do anything to keep him happy and with her. Her love for him just overwhelmed her in every way.

Exhaustion overwhelmed her and she closed her eyes, letting her body relax and drift into a fitful sleep.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

She awoke to Eli sitting next to her, with a plate of eggs and toast and a large glass of milk on the table in front of them.

"Eat up, blue eyes." Eli passed the food to her and pecked her on the cheek. "After you're finished, we are going over to my house to talk. We can watch a movie and talk about what we are going to do."

Clare nodded and forced down the entire plate of food, painful bite by bite. She knew if she didn't, Eli might get upset. She needed to make sure he was happy.

_When did my life become about making sure he is stable?_

She stared at him intently as he played with one of the many bracelets on his arm. He was so cute. And sexy. He turned her on in every way possible. She went from depressed to paranoid to horny in three seconds flat. She just had to have him, right there, on that couch.

"D-D-Do me." She stuttered, scooting as close to him as her shaky legs would allow.

Eli laughed heartily and smirked. It wasn't until he saw her unbuttoning her blouse that he realized she wasn't joking.

"Clare… For real?" He seemed dumb-founded that his pregnant girlfriend was throwing herself at him, only minutes after having a panic attack and passing. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Clare ignored his comment and continued to strip off her clothing. He stared at her in shock until she was sitting in only a bra and her panties.

"Make love to me, Eli. Please?"

The way her eyes were filled with lust and adoration melted Eli. He felt himself hardening to her requests. He couldn't resist himself. As he stripped off his own clothes and lowered himself into Clare, all of his worries about being a father and seemed to disappear.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

They lay on Eli's bed, silence engulfing the room in a way that made the panic creep back into Clare's mind. "Eli, can we watch a movie?"

"We need to talk first."

"I don't want to talk about it yet, Eli. I'm scared. I just wanna watch a movie." Clare felt a sob rising in her throat. She was so confused. She had been fine on the windowsill, in the night, with her thoughts. The second she saw Eli, however, she broke apart in a way that she didn't quite understand.

"Clare, we're going to talk about this. I need you to talk to me." He sat up on the bed and grabbed both of her hands. He kissed them and stared intently into her eyes. "We're going to be parents, beautiful. How do you feel?"

"I'm scared."

"I know, I know." Eli sighed deeply. "I'm scared too, Clare. More than you think. But I have to be strong for you. I'm going to be here, through all of the good times and the bad. I promise you this."

Clare smiled up at him as sincerely as she could muster. She wanted to believe him, but she knew Eli better than that after three years. On his good days, he would be with her. And on the bad ones, he would put her through more emotional distress than she could probably handle. The way he talked to her was warming her in a way that almost made her cry all over again.

"Clare, you believe me, don't you?" Eli's voice changed. He went from harmless to scary in 3 seconds flat. He was unpredictable in every sense of the word. He almost sounded threatening. Clare's stomach lurched at his tone and she instantly perked up. She nodded convincingly and tried to keep her strength from wavering, her façade from breaking. "Good. Now what are we going to do?"

"I was thinking we could get an apartment. We have all of that money in our account. We could—"

"—what if you just move in here?" Eli interjected. Clare's eyes widened at that idea and she shook her head with disbelief.

"Eli, no. I want to raise my baby—"

"—our baby, Clare." Eli interrupted, once again.

"Fine, Eli. I want to raise our baby in our own place. We're adults now. We have jobs and a savings. We can do it."

Eli laughed. "Adults? Clare, you're still afraid of spiders, you sleep with a stuffed panda bear. Despite our relationship, you are still a naïve, innocent little girl. That hasn't changed at all."

Clare scoffed angrily at him. "I sleep with that panda bear because you gave him to me. And fears don't necessarily change with age. My mom is still afraid of spiders and she's in her forties. I'm not naïve, Eli. I know how I want to raise my family. I want my own place, my own home to take care of my own son or daughter."

"Well, it's not all about you. I don't want to move out yet." Eli stated stubbornly. "And if you move into an apartment, I won't come visit you and the baby."

Clare felt a pang in her chest. The other Eli was rearing his ugly, selfish head in a big way. Hours ago he was helping her, holding her, making love to her so gently and passionately that the thought of it sent perfect chills up and down her body. And now he was threatening to ignore her and his child if she didn't do what he wanted? She scoffed. He's calling her a child, yet he is giving her the most ridiculous ultimatum that she has ever heard in her life.

She didn't understand how Eli could be everything she ever wanted and her worst nightmare at the same time. She just wanted him to be different. She wanted him to go back on his pills, the ones that calmed and regulated his bipolar disorder. He wasn't exactly the most artistically motivated man when he was on the pills, but he also treated her with more respect. She yearned for those days again. She wondered if he could ever be convinced to take that medication again.

_Maybe for our baby. Maybe someday, I'll get that Eli back._

"So you're willing to throw me away like a piece of garbage because I won't do what you say?" Clare angrily inquired her head hurting at the intensity of her glare. "You're going to abandon your own child for something as ridiculous as this?"

Eli shrugged and flashed his signature smirk. "Maybe I will, maybe I won't."

Clare jumped up from the bed and shook her head. "Maybe I won't stick around to see what you decide."

Again, she jumped emotions like there was nothing to it. Sadness, anger, hope, rage and more rage.

Her own courage surprised her as she stormed out of the room and down the stairs. Eli's mom, Cece, was sitting in the living room and startled when she saw Clare.

"Hi Sweetheart! How are you doing?"

Clare quickly composed her anger and smiled sweetly. "I'm doing just fine. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Are you heading out so soon?" Cece asked sweetly, almost making Clare feel guilty for leaving.

"Yes, I was just heading home. I have church in the morning and—"

"Clare's pregnant." Eli yelled down from the top of the staircase.

Clare froze.

_**Well? Thoughts?**_

_**Vann**_


	4. Falling In Love

_**AN: I really don't know anything about obgyn appts or anything, so I kind of googled some stuff and made up the rest. :D. :D **_

_**Anything I wrote was for entertainment purpose. So please don't take any of this too seriously.**_

_**Also, I do try to be factual and accurate, but you can't be too accurate and still have tons of drama.**_

_**So we'll just have to compromise. **_

_**Hope you enjoy and don't mind my medical inaccuracies. **_

Eli walked down the stairs, past her frozen form and into the kitchen.

CeCe looked as if she'd been hit by a bus.

Clare was about to lose the battle she'd waged with her rising vomit.

Her head hurt. Her stomach hurt. Mostly, her heart hurt. Eli was acting like a monster. At that moment, Clare couldn't imagine raising a baby with _him_, with this Eli.

Why would he blurt that out so carelessly to his mother?

Why would he put her in that terrible situation?

Why didn't he realize that her world was falling apart?

She ran from the room and into the nearest bathroom. There, she deposited the contents of her stomach into the toilet and sat on the floor, sobbing hysterically. Eli's instability was killing her. He was hurting her so badly, just as she knew he would. The door opened behind her and she expected Eli to apologize at any moment.

"Are you okay, honey?" CeCe asked. Clare looked up at her with panic in her eyes, terrified that the woman found out about her future grandchild in such an abrupt way.

"I'm so sorry." Clare said in a small, damaged voice. She hugged the toilet fearfully and closed her eyes, overwhelmed with humiliation.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. But I still love you, Clare… You are family. I just wish this baby had come to be under different circumstances." CeCe spoke softly, her words peppered with love and sympathy. Clare stood up from the floor and CeCe wrapped her in a hug. "We'll all get through this. It's going to be hard, but I know you are strong enough."

Clare wondered if she was right. Was she strong enough to endure Eli's behavior? Was she strong enough to do what was right for her baby and not give in to Eli's bullying tactics? She didn't feel strong anymore. He smashed down her walls and made her weaker than she ever wanted to be.

"I'd like to head home, if that's alright." Clare explained. "I'm so worn out; I just want to go to sleep."

CeCe nodded and walked Clare out of the room. "Of course. Get your rest, and we'll talk about this the next time you come over. I know your body is going through a lot of adjustments, and you're probably tired 24/7. When I was pregnant with Eli, I practically lived in my bed." She laughed tiredly and sighed. "I can't believe my baby is going to have a baby of his own."

Clare shook her head. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I hope you know that."

CeCe sensed the sincerity and fear in her voice. She nodded and walked Clare to the door. As she watched the young woman walk away, CeCe tried to calm the raging thoughts that exploded in her head.

Eli, her angst-ridden, hot-headed son, had gotten that sweet little girl pregnant.

This was not good.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Clare, wait!" Eli yelled as he chased her down the sidewalk. "I had to do it! You were going to leave!" Desperation crawled frantically at his throat. Eli knew he was losing her.

Clare spun around and glared at him. "I was going to leave because you threatened to abandon me if I didn't do what you want! I had every right to leave! But you…You told her like that to punish me." Her voice broke completely and she felt the familiar hopelessness swelling in her bosom. Tears poured down her face again. She'd cried more in the past 12 hours than ever before in her life. "That's not love, Eli."

Her words rung in the air between them and burned his ears.

_That's not love…_

He swallowed, holding back an abundance of emotions that he was afraid to express.

"But-but-but I do love you, Clare." Eli stuttered, utterly panicked as her cupped her face into his hands and stared into those deep blues that he loved so much. "I'm sorry… Please let me drive you home? We can talk on the way home and work this out." He begged. He couldn't let her leave him.

She'd have said no if exhaustion wasn't violently crashing down on her. Her legs hurt. She felt like there was no way she would make it home without falling asleep on the way.

"Fine," Clare sighed as she turned around and climbed into the hearse. "But _only_ because I'm tired."

Eli smiled with relief and eagerly plopped down into the driver's seat. He learned over gently and gave Clare a peck on the forehead, before pushing a golden curl behind her ear and pulling her into a loving embrace.

The look on her face was one of pure exhaustion, he noted. A deep pain weighed her down, a pain that he'd more than likely caused.

"I've hurt you, haven't I?" He asked her, so quietly that she almost couldn't hear him. Clare just cried softly and stared out at the summer sky. He hated seeing her cry. He'd never seen her cry as much as she had in those 12 hours.

Eli reached over gently and placed a shaky hand on her stomach. He couldn't believe she was carrying a little piece of him, and a little piece of her. He wanted to hold her, kiss her and protect her. He wanted to watch her belly grow, to go to doctor's appointments with her, to rub her feet and discuss baby names. Eli wanted so badly to have this baby with Clare, and to be a family with her.

Despite his desire, Eli screwed up, again. He'd threatened her. He'd embarrassed her.

His biggest fear in life was pushing Clare away her like he'd pushed Julia away. And that's exactly what he was doing.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

I'm so stupid. I constantly put Clare in bad situations. And she always takes me back, always lets the pain and shame go. She's loved me unconditionally through all of my issues, both mental and emotional. Clare Edwards is my angel, and I've done my best to push her away.

Now, she needs me to be strong for her. She needs me by her side, to support her, and to raise our child.

I'm really going to be a father… Holy shit.

Me, Eli Goldsworthy, a father? It's a concept that is entirely too mind-boggling for me to fully take in.

I'm having a baby with this beautiful woman, and all I've done so far is make her cry and make her doubt my love for her.

That's the worst part about being bipolar. I get out of control, I hurt Clare, and when I come down from an episode, I have to face just how badly I've damaged the woman that I love.

Shit, I'm crying now.

I have no self-control.

"I did this to you. How could I do this to you?" I stutter out, feeling tears cascade down.

I screwed up.

I screwed up so bad.

I need her. I need to fix this.

()()()()()()()()()()()

"I promise you, I'll be better this time." He pulled her close to his chest. "I love you too much." He kissed her nose repeatedly until her sad face cracked and a smile tugged at the corners of her beautiful mouth. "What do I need to do to make you happy?"

Clare thought intensely for a moment. She had to say the right thing. If she wasn't clear with her demands, their problems would continue to haunt her. She wasn't even sure it would make any difference at all. That's the price she paid for dating Eli Goldsworthy, for loving him, for refusing to leave him, despite his short-comings unpredictable mood swings.

"I need you to stop threatening me." She began, staring at him, her deadly eyes burning a hole into his own. "Don't_ ever_ threaten to abandon me and this baby again, or I'll be gone faster than you can utter that same, washed-up apology, Eli." She felt her anger getting out of control. Her voice was close to screaming. "You're so impulsive. You need to think before you act, especially with a baby in the picture." Eli nodded at her demands, looking desperate to please her and willing to submit to any expectations. "I want to get an apartment… _with you_, as soon as possible. I want us to live together before the baby is born. And…" She took a deep breath. This one wouldn't go over so well, but she knew it was best for their child, "You need to start taking your pills again."

Eli opened his mouth in protest and Clare put a hand over it firmly. "No, you need to listen to me. Now that I'm pregnant, I need you to take the pills. You are way too unpredictable. I just can't handle it anymore."

"But Clare—"

"It's my turn to give you an ultimatum." She raised her voice to an authoritative level and stared him straight in the eyes. "Take the medicine or lose me, Eli. It's your choice."

Eli looked at her with disbelief. She knew how much he hated the pills. He hated the way they made him feel. They took away his creativity and the spark that fueled his spontaneity.

He wondered if Clare was worth losing himself…

He surveyed her with his eyes, silence overtaking him as he tried to reply calmly. Her beautiful body, her porcelain skin and her strikingly blue eyes shone in the orange light of the setting, July sun. To Eli, Clare was the epitome of beauty, and he knew that he was more than lucky have her in his life.

He closed his eyes and envisioned holding his own child in his arms. He imagined the warmth of the little life that he'd helped create. His future child was worth more than anything else in the world, as was Clare.

He had no choice but to give into her demands. He would protect his little family with his life. He would give in and take the pills, no matter the negative effects they would have on his spirit.

"I'll take the pills, Clare. I'll start taking them now." He sighed, defeated, as he reached into the glove compartment for a bottle of his medication. He popped one reluctantly in his mouth and said a silent goodbye to the Eli who those pills inhibited. He knew that his spark would fade soon. But also, his rage would fade and he would take better care of Clare. "I'll take them every day. I promise you, Blue Eyes. And we'll start looking for apartments as soon as we can. I won't hurt you anymore…Clare, please look at me."

She stared painfully into his soul and he felt himself melting further and further into her eyes. "I love you, beautiful."

"I love you too, Eli." She whispered, trying not to let herself get swept away with the promises that he probably wouldn't keep.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

It had been a week and a half since the 5 unholy pink plus signs made their appearance. Eli flipped through a maternity magazine and Clare tried to breathe and calm the nerves that begged her to run out of that waiting room. Eli's hand was crushed in Clare's anxious grip, but he didn't seem to mind at all. It was their first baby appointment, which would involve an ultrasound and due date prediction. Eli remained unfazed while Clare was uneasy enough for the both of them.

Truthfully, Eli was bored out of his mind in that waiting room. He didn't understand why women acted like ultrasounds were such a big deal. It was a simple procedure that they were required to suffer through, in order to look like responsible parents. Some of the women in the room looked as if they were readying themselves for war. Clare was included in that group. Other woman looked entirely comfortable and relaxed, even holding quiet conversations with those around them. Some had large, baby bellies. Others, like Clare, didn't even look pregnant. The room was full of diversity and life and emotion.

Needless to say, an OB-GYN waiting room wasn't the most comfortable place for a young man to be, especially not a young man like Eli. He'd spent the duration of their wait trying desperately to avoid eye contact with anyone. He'd noticed that some of the women were staring at his attire with looks of irritation and judgment. Apparently, black skinny jeans and a bright red vest wasn't proper formality for a doctor's appointment. He scoffed at their disapproval. At least he was present for the occasion and supporting Clare. She was all that mattered anyway.

He continued dispassionately flipping through the maternity magazines.

_Picture of a pregnant woman. Picture of a baby. Picture of a baby. Picture of a family. Picture of a baby with a puppy_.

Eli laughed quietly.

_What a cute puppy! _He thought happily.

The back page of the puppy picture featured an article titled "Fun Facts about Fetal Development. The title caught his eye and he quickly skimmed the page with interest. Excitedly, Eli poked Clare in the arm, like a young child trying to get his mother's attention.

"Clare, did you know that babies develop heartbeats in the first month after conception?" Eli whispered loudly.

Clare forced a smile and took a deep breath. "No, I didn't." She croaked out, failing her attempt at a calm demeanor. Eli could see the worry in her eyes. He scooted closer and showed her the article, attempting to distract her.

"Look," he whispered, louder this time, "it says the baby's brainwaves are detectable by week six!" He slouched down in his chair and leveled his face to Clare's stomach. She giggled nervously at his behavior and noticed the other women in the room staring at them.

"What the heck are you doing, Eli?" She hissed at him, holding back laughter as his face tickled her stomach.

He ignored her question and pressed his lips to her stomach.

"Hi, little baby. It's daddy. I was just wondering if you have brainwaves yet."

Clare chuckled and pulled Eli up to her level. He was smirking deviously at her, his green eyes sparkling vibrantly, despite the dull light of the waiting room.

"Clare Edwards, the doctor will see you now." A nurse called to her.

Eli pulled her up from the chair and smirked. "I guess we're about to find out about those brainwaves." He pulled Clare out of her chair and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Calm down, Blue Eyes. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. We'll be fine."

Clare smiled and squeezed his hand gratefully.

The nurse led them into a small room filled with unfamiliar machines and contraptions. Clare recognized one of the machines as the ultrasound monitor.

"Make yourselves comfortable. The doctor will be in here momentarily." The nurse smiled kindly at them both and exited the room.

Clare rested back on the examination table and gripped Eli's hand. She was trembling noticeably.

"Clare, why are you so afraid?"

Clare glared at him with disbelief. "Why aren't YOU afraid? This is a scary thing, Eli. This is a big deal. Why are you so calm?"

Eli remained silent and unaffected by her outburst. He didn't want to start an argument when things had been going so great for them. Since he'd started taking his medication again, Eli had mellowed out considerably. The couple hadn't fought for over a week, which was a huge accomplishment for them, considering their rocky past. Eli wasn't about to setback their progress, especially when Clare was feeling so unsteady.

"I'm sorry, Eli. I shouldn't have lashed out like that." Clare sighed. She was emotionally unpredictable, but he figured that it was her turn to have that role in their relationship. Eli responded with a kiss and a gentle squeeze of the hand.

"I'll blame your hormones this time."

They both chuckled and Clare felt her nerves melt away. His change in behavior had made her happier than she cared to admit. With Eli's compliance and support, the idea of having a baby had become considerably less petrifying to her.

"So, Clare, there is something we haven't talked about…" Eli said mischievously, his eyebrows lifted in a way that put Clare on edge.

"What's that?" She asked him warily, wondering what kind of oddities were floating through Eli's thoughts. After his little stunt in the waiting room, she didn't know what to expect from him.

"When do you think we made this baby anyway?" He asked, grinning broadly at the pink embarrassment that swam across her cheeks.

Clare smacked him on the leg and shook her head frantically. "I don't know and I don't want to talk about it." She scorned. Her face was as red as a cherry at the mere mention of sex.

"Clare, we do it all the time. Like, all the time. You can't keep your hands off-"

"Watch it, Goldsworthy!" Clare snapped, her throat itching with an intense discomfort. "We're in public!"

"There's nobody in here." Eli laughed; entertained at the rouse he got out of her. "Maybe it was that time in Morty, when-"

"Good morning, Ms. Edwards." The doctor greeted as he opened the door. A woman followed behind him. Her badge read "Dr. Niles, Ultrasound Medicine" and his read "Dr. Franks, Obstetrician/Gynecological Medicine."

Clare begged the red to drain from her cheeks and Eli cleared his throat awkwardly, stifling back a chuckle.

"So, this is your first ultrasound?" He asked, staring down at her paperwork. "Well, don't worry about a thing. Dr. Niles and I will take good care of you. If I could ask you to lift your shirt up and expose your stomach, we'll just get this all under way." The male doctor smiled sweetly at Clare and Eli felt a pang of jealousy. Even though he was on his medication, it didn't suppress all irrational feelings, especially not ones that dealt with other men and his Clare.

She shyly pulled up her shirt and grabbed Eli's hand for support. He held her tiny hand in his larger one, tightly, as Dr. Niles squirted blue gel onto her exposed skin. She squealed a bit and both doctors chuckled.

"Sorry, I forgot to warn you that it's cold. You'll get used to it after a few appointments." Dr. Niles assured Clare and flipped on the machine. "Alright, are you ready to see your baby?"

Clare nodded tensely and held her breath. The doctor rubbed the gel around with a scope and Eli's breath caught in his throat as he processed the picture on the screen.

"That's your baby, right there." She pointed to a small, moving mass on the picture and smiled at the looks on the couples faces.

Clare looked at the picture in awe. Emotion swelled in her chest and she choked back a sob. She was determined to remain strong and not cause a scene, but completely lost it when she saw Eli.

He was staring at the screen, tears flowing freely down his face. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the small, black and white form of his child on the small screen. He finally knew why people made a big deal about ultrasounds. That picture was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.

The female doctor was fighting back an emotional reaction to the young parents. The male doctor was looking inquisitively from Clare and the screen and back at Clare.

"I'm sorry, doctors. It's the hormones. I'm not sure what his excuse is though." She explained nervously, tears still welling in her eyes. She sniffled loudly and tried to clean her face.

They all laughed and Eli tried to wipe away his tears.

"It's just…" Eli shook his head, "that's our baby. Our baby, Clare" He beamed at her, the tears still assaulting his face. "It's everything I've ever wanted."

Eli reached over for her and wiped her face. "I love you." He whispered emotionally.

She nodded her head and smiled back proudly. "I love you too."

The male doctor cleared his throat and laughed, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have a few questions for you." Clare nodded and switched her attention from the screen to the doctor.

"Ms. Edwards, when did you say you found out about your pregnancy?" He asked her professionally.

" Um… July 6th. A week and a half ago." She responded.

"Do you remember when your last period was?" He asked her.

"No, I honestly do not." She answered, wondering why it mattered at this point.

"How far along do you think you are?" he asked. Dr. Niles continued along with the ultrasound, moving it occasionally while Dr. Franks took down notes.

"I don't really know. I was thinking probably a month?" Clare was starting to get nervous with the questions and the doctor's attitude. Was something wrong with the baby? Her heart was practically beating out of her chest.

"According to the measurements, you're about 14 weeks along, Clare."

Her eyes widened skeptically. "14 weeks? I'm 14 weeks pregnant?"

"It appears that way, yes. With the given measurements, I'd place the date of conception in the first week of April. We'll say your official due date is Christmas, but you can give or take a few days. It might change as your pregnancy progresses, however." Dr. Frank stated, sensing the uneasiness in the room.

Clare and Eli tried to wrap their heads around the new information. They'd assumed that she had just recently gotten pregnant. 14 weeks seemed so far in. Everything seemed more real for them.

"I know, it's a lot to wrap your head around. Ms. Edwards, don't beat yourself up for not detecting your pregnancy sooner. It happens to a lot of women. We should do a follow-up appointment every three weeks, to check how the baby is developing. You should start showing in the next month or two. And, if you choose to find out the baby's gender before the big day, we'll be able to do that for you in about a month."

Eli felt completely overwhelmed by everything the male doctor was saying. These facts were too much for him. Christmas baby, 14 weeks, genders. It was too much. He just wanted to continue to look at his child on that screen and not worry about the details just yet.

"Thank you, doctor." Clare whispered, trying not to sound completely dazed.

"It's normal to be nervous, especially for young parents. But it gets easier." He smiled reassuringly at them and handed Clare a washcloth. "Unless you have any questions, we can wrap this up and I'll see you in about three weeks."

"When can we hear the heartbeat? B-Because this magazine said it develops in the first month." Eli stuttered, embarrassed that he's revealed his expertise in pregnancy magazines.

"There's a possibility that we will be able to hear the heartbeat at the next appointment. It's generally detectable by stethoscope between weeks 18-20." He handed Clare a packet of papers and a prescription. "There is dietary information and a prescription for some pre-natal vitamins, as well as some commonly asked questions and information about the baby's development. It will give you peace of mind, I promise. How many copies would you like of the ultrasound?"

Clare wiped the gel off of her stomach and climbed off of the table. "Five, please?"

He nodded and Dr. Niles left the room.

"You can pick them up at the front desk. Take care of yourselves and we'll see you back here soon."

Clare stumbled shakily out of the room with Eli following close behind. Her legs felt unstable and she tripped on her own feet, only to be promptly caught by the man behind her.

"Blue-eyes, you've got to be more careful. You're walking for two now." Eli steadied her and pecked her on the cheek. He swiped their ultrasound photos off of the counter and, as Clare arranged for her next appointment with the secretary, Eli stared at his son or daughter, in black and white, on the glossy piece of paper.

He was in love.

_**This chapter took me forever to write! I was really picky about the details and grammar. It was majorly tiring.**_

_**BTW, I would suggest everybody read a story called After the Storm by Jacksvoiceofreason.**_

_**I read it yesterday and it was bloody fantastic.**_

_**That is all.**_

_**Oh, and I'm a review whore, so please review. It gives me incentive to update often. **_

_**Thanks!**_

_**Vann**_


	5. Facing Trials, One at a Time

_**I hope nobody thinks the story is going too slowly. Like I said before, much detail, many chapters. This one has some drama in it. **_

_**I hope you like it.**_

Eli parked his hearse on the curb in front of Clare's house. He straightened out his shirt nervously and stared at the car in front of him.

_Is that…? _He scowled at the uncomfortable realization.

_Yep. Great, just fucking great._

Clare's ex-boyfriend/step-brother's car was parked in front of his own. He'd never liked Jake, and he really didn't want to have dinner with him, let alone tell him about the baby.

_Things just got even more interesting. I wonder if Clare knew he was going to be here... _

It was the night that Clare's family would learn about their "little" mistake. They were both apprehensive about telling her family before she moved out, but Clare's belly was growing more each day, she was still having morning sickness and it was getting harder to hide her exhaustion from the family. Clare would move in with Eli if her parents kicked her out. And they would find an apartment from there. His parents agreed to the plan after Bulldog finally wrapped his head around the pregnancy.

Eli shuddered at the memory.

_The three of them sat at the dinner table, Bullfrog, Clare and Eli. CeCe stood by the sink, half-heartedly doing dishes while bracing herself for the backlash of the conversation._

"_Dad, we've got some news." Eli began, clutching Clare's hand tightly. "We hope you aren't too upset."_

_Bullfrog stared at them, both confused and wary. "What did you get yourself into, Elijah?" his voice low and firm. _

_Eli looked down at the table and swallowed hard, "I, uh, I got C-C-Clare pregnant." He lifted his eyes up to meet his father's and willed the nervous flush from his cheeks. Clare felt hot tears cascading down her cheeks._

_Bullfrog's eyes widened and he shook his head agitatedly. "Sweet little Clare is pregnant?" The couple nodded nervously and Bullfrog put his head in his hands, rubbing his temples and staring at the table. Awkward tension hung appropriately in the room as the young couple waited for a confrontation, a lecture… for anything but silence._

"_Son," He sighed. "What are you going to do?" He was directly addressing Eli, fiercely avoiding eye contact with Clare._

"_We're getting an apartment… I-I have to take care of my family." _

_Eli's heart pounded. _His_ family._

"_That's, uh, that's noble of you, Eli…" Bullfrog whispered his voice raspy. He stood up awkwardly and nodded slightly before retreating up the stairs. CeCe walked over to the table and put a hand on each of their shoulders. Eli's entire body shook. _

"_He needs time. But he'll come around. He loves you both." CeCe assured. "So do I."_

Eli shook the memory away and sighed. There was no time to keep rehashing the past, even though that was Eli Goldsworthy's forte. He needed to gather his courage and tackle the future directly.

And so he did. He walked up to the Martin residence, rang the doorbell, straightened his shirt and smiled cordially when Clare's mom greeted him.

"Hello, Eli," She gave him a half-hug and a peck on the cheek. "How are you tonight?"

"Just fine, Mrs. Martin. Thank you for asking. How are you?"

The woman replied with something about chicken casserole and Eli nodded politely, savoring the last few moments of normalcy before their big announcement.

Mrs. Martin had significantly warmed up to Eli since their initial meeting. It took almost six months after Clare and Eli got back together, but she grew to respect and trust him, with time. Eli was surprised by that, given the circumstances of their break-up.

_She'll probably go back to hating me after tonight._

He glanced around the living room. Glen was on the computer, laughing at a video that played loudly from the speakers. Helen was stirring the contents of a pot and humming peacefully. He didn't see Clare or Jake. That familiar pang of jealousy and suspicion ached in his chest. He needed to find them.

"Do you mind if I go see Clare?" he asked Mrs. Martin graciously. He'd learned that it was better to be overly cautious and courteous when it came to Clare's parents, especially when regarding her bedroom.

"Of course, Eli. I'm sure she's just upstairs. Go right ahead." She responded, smiling a sweet smile at him. Eli blushed. She had a near-perfect replica of Clare's smile. He hoped his son or daughter had that beautiful smile.

Clare's door was wide open and Jake was standing in the frame, his arms crossed casually over his chest and he smiled sincerely at something she said. Eli resisted the urge to throw the other boy down the stairs.

_Be mature and don't upset Clare, Eli._ He repeated the phrase in his head over and over again, every time he was near the mother of his child. The pills helped quite a bit, but pills don't change a personality. And Eli's personality screamed confrontation in almost every sense of the word.

Jake noticed Eli and waved disinterestedly. Eli rolled his eyes in response.

"Jake." He stated coldly.

"Eli." Jake looked him up and down and scoffed.

_Here we go._

Awkwardness hung in the air. Eli slipped passed Jake and smiled at the sight of Clare sitting on the bed. She was crocheting something yellow and listening to a rock ballad that he didn't recognize. Her eyes lit up when Eli walked into the room and she jumped up, wrapping him in a warm embrace.

"How's my girl today?" He asked quietly, his back turned to Jake, who was still standing awkwardly at the door. He subtly ran his index finger up and down her stomach and grinned.

"I'm just fine, now that you're here." Clare took a deep breath. "I'm scared, though. I packed up a bag, just in case. It's in the closet."

"Did you know Jake was coming home?" He whispered, wishing the other boy would go away so he could talk to Clare in private.

She shook her head and shrugged. "I had no clue. He was just going on about school before you got here. He said he wants to move back home."

Eli's stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought of Clare and Jake living together again.

_She'll be living with me before that will ever happen… Be mature and don't upset Clare._

He nodded curtly in response and turned around. "So, Jake, how's life?"

Jake looked at him uncaringly and shrugged, "Lively, I guess," he chuckled at himself before continuing, "School's hard. I've been thinking about transferring to George Brown…"

_Our school? What a tool. _

"…and summer semester ends in 3 weeks, and then I'll be home for a month before I either go back or stay here. How's George Brown anyway?"

Clare answered his question while Eli zoned out and listened to the soft rock that played steadily in the background.

"Kids, dinner!" Helen yelled from downstairs.

Jake rushed out of the room and down the stairs bellowing, "I'm starving!" Eli and Clare chuckled tensely and made their way to the dinner table.

Dinner was generally uneventful. They had chicken casserole, which Eli knew Clare didn't like during her pregnancy. In fact, she's told him that the first time she suspected she was pregnant was after she got sick during a meal of chicken casserole. It absolutely nauseated her.

"Clare, didn't you used to love this stuff?" Jake asked her with a mouthful of food, noticing that her food hadn't been touched.

The entire table was staring at Clare, and she felt the bile in her stomach threatening to spew out everywhere.

"Oh, I do. I'm just not really hungry today." She moved the food around her plate and tried urgently to calm her beating heart. Eli squeezed her knee gently underneath the table and shot her a sympathetic smile.

After dinner, everyone sat around and had cherry pie with whipped cream. The adults were laughing, Jake was texting and Clare was trying to muster up the courage to speak.

"Please," she whispered to Eli, "Please tell them. I can't do it."

Eli nodded and closed his eyes, calming himself before the impending storm.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

Well, here goes nothing.

I'm going to tell Clare's family that she's pregnant.

I know that I need to do this for her, but I'm still as scared as all fucking Hell.

How do I say this? Seriously, what wording is appropriate for this occasion?

"Excuse me," I practically whisper. They didn't even hear me.

"Excuse me." I call out, a little bit louder this time. Next to me, Clare is staring at her pie, her face pale and her hand shaking in my own. Everyone looks over to me and I smile vaguely. "Clare and I have something important to tell all of you." I look at the three of them confidently. I can do this. I'm strong. Fathers have to be strong.

Helen looks instantly worried, Glen looks morbidly curious and Jake looks about as worried as Helen. He's probably still into Clare. Oh well, not the time or place for that discussion.

"Please don't tell me you've eloped." Helen said, laughing dryly.

"No," I began, "Not quite. Actually," I took a huge breath, letting it relax me before I said the words that no mother wants to hear about her teenaged daughter. "Clare is pregnant."

()()()()()()()()()()

Silence engulfed the room heavily. Not a single occupant moved or spoke; the only sounds were the soft weeping of Clare and the occasional sniffle.

Glen was the first one to speak up.

"Wow." His voice croaked painfully. "I really thought you two were more responsible than-than this."

Helen choked back a surprised sob. "Clare…" She shook her head, sullenly. "Your vow… I-I don't understand."

"I'm-sorry." She cried, her breath coming out in short, panicked gasps. Eli saw the traces of a panic attack and put a hand gently on her back.

"Breathe, baby, breathe." Eli quietly begged her, his voice low and soothing to her panicked ears. He ran a hand through her hair and put his forehead to her temple to calm her.

"Get your hands off of her!" Jake screamed, rising up from the table like a banshee from Hell. "You did this to her! You fucking asshole…" Jake stormed over to Eli and the shorter boy rose solemnly to meet him. Jake shoved Eli into the table, sending pie, plates and half-full glasses of milk flying across at Glen and Clare. Glen rushed over and tried to pry Eli's collar from Jake's grip. "Too weak and pathetic to fight back, Goldsworthy?" Jake sneered; spit flying from his angry mouth onto Eli's stoic face. Glen ripped Jake from Eli and pushed his across the room.

"I love Clare too much to hit her _brother._" Eli seethed through clenched teeth, his phrase about not upsetting Clare running on a loop through his clouded, furious mind.

Clare ran from the table and flew up the steps, slamming her door hysterically behind her.

_Too late. Shit._

Jake glared daggers in Eli's direction and shook his head. "I knew you were no good. I always knew."

Eli laughed dryly and raised his eyebrows doubtfully. "And you were so much better? I love that girl. I'd do anything for her." He looked from Glen to Helen. The initial reaction had worn off and they both appeared speechless. Eli willed himself to rise from the table and joined Clare upstairs, to take her to his house, tuck her in and let her sleep this all away. But he knew there were things that needed to be said, and he had to say them while he still could, while they were still all in the same place. "I'm going to take care of her, I promise… I'm sorry that you're all disappointed, but I hope this doesn't affect your roles in our child's life."

Jake rolled his eyes, "You ruined _her_ life." He muttered before storming upstairs to his own room.

Eli clenched his fists furiously and tried to shake away his anger.

Glen looked lost, Helen looked devastated. They didn't yell, scream or tell him to leave.

"I-I'm going to take Clare to my house for the night, so everyone can calm down." He stated, looking at Helen, "Mrs. Martin, I never meant for this to happen… I hope you can forgive me one day."

She glanced up at his and half-smiled a heartbroken smile. "We'll talk later. I… I need a drink." She excused herself from the table, pain and wreckage painted in warm tears across her face.

Glen exhaled loudly and nodded to Eli, "I had Jake when I was 19. It'll be okay, kid." He patted Eli roughly on shoulder as he followed his wife to the wine cabinet in the basement. "Sorry about Jake. This is… this is just a lot to take it. It's probably best for you and Clare to leave for the night."

Eli nodded and headed up to Clare's room, pushing the door open slowly. She was sitting at the edge of her bed, her packed bag hugged tightly to her chest. Her face was contorted with a mixture of fear, sadness, anger and confusion.

Eli kneeled down next to her and held her gently. "We're gonna stay at my house for the night. Okay?"

She bobbed her head numbly and walked down the stairs to the front door, no signs of Helen, Glen or Jake.

"I'll meet you in the car in five."

Clare pursed her lips sadly and walked out the door. As Eli cleaned off the table and loaded up the dishwasher, he could only think of how much he wanted to forget that day, forget those pained faces and hold his girl.

_**Well? Thoughts? I'd really appreciate some reviews, whether good or bad. Thank you all in advance for the feedback.**_

_**I do respond via message for logged-in reviews, so I really do appreciate them.**_

_**I'll update soon!**_

_**Vann**_


	6. Lumberjack Problems and Ripped Cloth

_**Well, I hope ya'll are enjoying Foolish Games. **_

_**Here's another chapter, cause I love you so much. **_

_**Reviews are adored and treasured forever. 3**_

_**Vann**_

"Well, this is your home and you're welcome to live here, Clare. I could help you with the baby and Eli could spend the night sometimes. It might be easier than getting an apartment and having to pay rent." Helen offered up from the spot next to her on the couch. Clare was diligently working on a tiny pair of baby mittens. A talk show played on the television, but the two women were too deep in conversation to pay attention.

Clare shook her head politely at her mother's offer and chewed at one of her nails. "I really appreciate that, mom, but I really want to get my own place with Eli."

Helen squeezed Clare's hand lightly. "Honey, are you sure this is what you want? Adoption is-"

"-Mom, no adoption. This is what I want… I've never been more certain of anything." Clare bit roughly down on her nail, drawing blood from the skin beneath. This was a conversation that she'd never imagined having with her mother at 18 years old. Darcy was always the rebel. Clare was the virginal saint, who was destined to have an explosively awkward wedding night with a pastor's son, give birth to 15 children, bake homemade bread, and spend her life as a bored pilgrim woman. This wasn't her "path," as her youth leader would say. Clare had "strayed from the path of righteousness."

She'd learned to live with the fact that her path might be a bit different than the ideal, Christian way. But she knew she would be a good mom. And she didn't regret having sex with Eli. That's what mattered to her at that point in her life, not the path that some fundamentalists had shoved down her throat when she was too young to make her own decisions and evaluate her own heart.

"Well, you always have time to change your mind, if Eli decides that he's not ready to be a father." Helen reminded Clare, who twitched uncomfortably at the thought.

Her mother was right. As unpredictable as Eli could be, there was a chance that he could leave her at the slightest fight, stress or insecurity. As long as he took his pills, Clare was confident that they would be fine. If he decided to suddenly go off of the medication, the consequences could disintegrate Clare's beautiful little world.

"Let's just hope that doesn't happen." She smiled, her fear hidden beneath the steady grin.

Helen agreed silently and rose from the couch. She looked exhausted.

Clare knew that news of her pregnancy had taken a toll on her family, but she couldn't let herself feel too guilty. This was her life, and she had to make her own choices.

She pushed the thoughts from her mind. There was no time for her to be negative. She basked in the silence of the empty living room sat back on the couch, waiting for an anticipated phone call from Eli.

Eli had worked a double the night before, so she'd spent the night at her house, packing up her things for the inevitable move. Her second doctor's appointment was in an hour, so she was expecting Eli at the door any minute.

She whistled peacefully to herself and focused on the pattern of her project.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

Jake came down from the stairs and studied Clare. She looked beautiful; the sun was shining down on her from the large, living room window. She had a slight smile playing on her plump lips as she focused on the material in her hand.

It'd been two days since he'd lashed out and roughed up Eli.

He was just so, _so_ angry.

Eli was supposed to take care of Clare…

_How could he be stupid enough to get her pregnant?_ Jake wondered, bitter jealousy and hate pulsing through his veins, causing his fist to clench against his will, readying him for another testosterone-fueled outburst.

After the fight, Glen had given him a lecture about controlling his brotherly instinct. But they all knew that it was more than that. Jake still had feelings for Clare. How could he not? She was a beautiful girl who used to be crazy about him. And as much as it tampered with his manly ego, he was crazy about her too.

When they were together, he wasn't ready for a huge commitment with her. He wasn't ready for wedding bells and the pitter patter of little feet. He wasn't ready for the forever that Clare so comfortably threw at him.

But he'd held out hope that, when he _was_ ready, she would still be there.

He was wrong.

3 weeks after they broke up, Clare brought Eli over for dinner.

2 weeks after that, he ran into them at the movies, holding hands and laughing, looking happy and… together.

When he left for college, he'd expected a new start, filled with pretty girls and booze and fun. Instead, he found himself struggling to keep up in class and struggling to make friends.

Mostly, he founds himself missing Clare.

He missed her sweet, innocent demeanor. He missed the way she'd laugh at his not-so-funny jokes. He missed her smiles, and the feel of her silky skin on his own.

He was so furious at Eli for corrupting her, for taking her virginity. He couldn't wrap his head around her wanting to be with Eli so soon after she'd wanted to be with him.

Jake would never admit it, but he'd always thought that he'd be the one to take that step with her. Yes, he'd rejected her. But he had every intention of getting back with her, after he was ready to settle down.

Eli stole her from him.

_Why Eli, of all people? He's crazy! He crashed his car for fuck's sake! And now, she's stuck with him._

The thoughts made Jake fume with anger.

"Are you just going to stand there staring?" Clare asked bitterly, refusing to look up at him.

He flushed with embarrassment. He didn't know she'd noticed him standing there. He wondered how long he'd been there.

"What's your problem, mommy?" He snapped at her, filling with regret instantly. Why would he say that?

He mentally beat himself and prepared for an equally aggressive tongue-lashing from Clare.

She said nothing.

"That was out of line. I'm sorry, Clare." He quietly apologized, expecting a backlash from Clare.

She continued to ignore him. He felt himself getting angry.

"Clare!" He yelled at her. She flinched precariously and scowled at him.

"Go, away. Jake." She fumed, her words slowly warning him of the bubbling fury that was about to boil over. She was resisting the urge to march across the room and slap him in the face as hard as she could.

"I know I shouldn't have been such a jerk, but can we just let it go?" he asked sincerely, using the playful voice that Clare had always loved so much when they were together.

It had no effect on her.

"I don't care about your half-assed attempt to instigate a fight with me. But I do care that you attacked Eli the other day, knowing fully well he wasn't going to fight back… Eli never did anything to you." Clare stated sternly, her eyes staring up at her ex with a mixture of disappointment and rage.

"He was supposed to take care of you, and he got you pregnant instead._ I_ would never…" He stopped himself and clenched his eyes shut regretfully.

_Shit._

Clare stared at him incredulously. Her wide eyes looked surprised, to say the least.

"Clare, I just meant-"

"-Stop. Just stop, Jake! Eli didn't _try _to get me pregnant. He _does_ take care of me, better than you ever did." Clare felt herself losing control of her temper, "I didn't choose to get pregnant at 18, but it happened, and I'm glad it's with him and not _you_."

Jake looked hurt by her words, but she couldn't stop herself. She was going to make him regret what he did and said.

"You act like he was your replacement," she spoke quietly, her voice full of meaning and purpose, "but you've got it all wrong. You were the replacement. I never stopped loving Eli."

She couldn't even believe the words had come out of her mouth. Jake looked completely broken by the statement, but she didn't feel badly about it. He deserved it.

"Wow, Clare… that-"

At that moment, Eli walked through the front door, a bouquet of lilies clutched in his hand.

Neither of the room's occupants acknowledged him. Jake looked sorely at his feet and Clare watched him, a firm look plastered on her soft face. Eli walked over to Clare and grabbed her by the chin sweetly, pulling her eyes away from her ex.

"Is he bothering you?"

"Not anymore." She beamed at him with love, her eyes darting back and forth between his smile and the flowers in his hand. He held them out for her and she leaned into his lips, brushing them lightly and lovingly.

"Good. Let's go." He grabbed her hand and pulled her up eagerly from the couch. She grabbed her purse swiftly from the table near Jake and, without making any kind of contact, left him standing in the living room, an empty pain throbbing in his stomach.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

As they lay together in Eli's bed, Clare's rested her head on his shoulder, staring at the baby name book in his hand.

"What about Morticia for a girl?" Eli joked, provoking a punch from the pregnant woman beside him.

"I'm not naming my baby after a death worker. Try again."

Eli closed the book and grinned widely at Clare. "How about we open to a random page, and pick the first name we see?"

Clare scoffed at him and stared up into his mischievous green eyes. "No way."

Eli flipped the pages of the book defiantly before randomly selecting one. His eyes were closed tightly as he ran his finger across the page.

"Stop!" Clare demanded, eager to see what kind of name the game had decided for their future child.

"Bethany." He announced. Clare glanced at the page and, sure enough, Bethany was the name he'd stopped on.

"Bethany Goldsworthy." He announced, trying it out for a spin. "Beth. Bethy. Bethany… What do you think?"

Clare smiled thoughtfully.

_Bethany Goldsworthy._

"I actually like that name." She laughed, a full-out grin playing on her lips. She couldn't believe that she was laying on Eli's bed, picking out names for their child.

"I like it too. It's fitting for a little curly haired, blue-eyed girl." He smirk.

Clare laughed and shook her head.

"What makes you think she won't get your green eyes?"

"Genetics would be cruel not to give her those beautiful blues." Eli kissed the top of her head and Clare blushed.

"Someone's feeling sappy today." Clare tickled his side roughly and flipped over on her stomach. Eli looked at her with worry and lifted her off of her growing belly.

"Hey there! Be careful, would you? Did you forget that you are housing a fetus?" Eli lectured, evoking a flustered sigh from Clare.

"How could I forget? I'm always hungry, I'm moody, and horny, and-"

Eli cut her off with a rough kiss. "Horny?"

"Eli, don't-"

He smashed his lips into hers again and stood up from the bed. He walked over to the door and double locked it before falling back down onto the bed.

He surveyed Clare carefully and laughed. Her cheeks were flush and she was trying to unbutton her blouse to no avail. A flustered whine escaped her plump red lips and her eyes begged Eli for help. He smirked cockily and ripped the shirt off in one swift motion, revealing Clare's curved belly and growing breasts. She gasped at him and grabbed the ripped clothing from him.

"My…my shirt." She held it up to her bare chest, tears pouring from her eyes.

Eli gaped at her, guilt filling his chest. "Clare?"

"My grandmother bought me this." Clare cried, clutching the fabric to her face and letting her tears soak through.

Eli pulled her into a hug and rocked her gently. "I'm sorry, Clare. I-I didn't know." He knew that she was emotional, but he still felt profoundly guilty that he'd once again reduced his pregnant girlfriend to tears.

Clare rested her head again his chest and breathed in deeply. He smelled of manliness. The remnants of aftershave danced in her nostrils and she basked in the warmth of Eli's arms. The entire atmosphere of the room relaxed her, the tension rushing from her with every upward heave of Eli's chest. Her tears quickly dried and she drifted into a peaceful sleep, leaving Eli dumbfounded by her completely unpredictable mood swings.

He was beginning to see what Clare meant when she called him unstable.

_**This chapter was slow, I know. Please feel free to bitch about it via review. **_

_**Vann**_


	7. Good Tips and More Lumberjacks

_**I'm trying not to hit the writer's block wall with this story. **_

_**It's hard. I have so many ideas, but I don't want to rush anything.**_

_**And hey, you should follow me on tumblr. My name is vanilllabare.**_

_**So… vanilllabare .tumblr. com**_

_**Minus the spaces. **_

_**Vann**_

_**P.S I kinda sorta stole a line from Juno in this chapter. : )**_

_**P.S.S I'm drinking a few margaritas while I write this, so I hope it makes sense. Happy St. Patty's day!**_

"Sir, can I get you anything else today?" Clare asked sweetly, her work uniform snuggled uncomfortably on her belly. She picked up the used dishes from the table and walked them back to the kitchen, almost tripping on her own feet. Her coworkers chuckled at her and the chef, Henry, patted her softly on the back.

"I still can't believe our little Clare is gonna be a momma!" He grabbed the dishes from her arms and set them in the sink. "I'm gonna punch that Eli kid in the junk the next time I see him."

Clare laughed and shook her head. "Please leave the junk untouched. I may want more children one day."

The dishwasher, Neil, poked her playfully in the side and snorted, "If Henry messes up that guy too bad, you can always have my babies, Clarabelle." He winked provocatively at her and the entire kitchen burst into laughter.

Clare blushed wildly and grabbed her next table's order from the oven shelf without a word. Lakeview was her home away from her, her co-workers were her family. She was used to be being teased by the boys in the kitchen. Henry was in his late 30's. He was short and stocky, with thick muscles and Italian features. He was a jolly man with a contagious smile and had worked at Lakeview for over 15 years.

Neil was in his early 20's. He was the grandson of the owners, a Italian couple who'd opened Lakeview in the early 80's. For the most part, it was a family business. Clare was one of the few exceptions. But if you asked anyone who worked there, Clare was a part of their family too.

She'd worked every day for three weeks straight, saving up every penny that she possibly could before the baby's arrival. Two weeks before, her growing belly evoked a suspicion from Henry, who jokingly asked Clare if there was something that she needed to tell them. Her signature blush told all of her secrets, as usual, and her coworkers and boss were now well aware of her situation.

She was 20 weeks into her pregnancy. She'd already had two doctor's appointments, heard the baby's heart beat and been reassured that everything was normal and healthy. The doctor's had identified the gender, but Clare decided that she wanted to be surprised at the birth. Eli reluctantly agreed to wait.

He'd worked two months without a day off, and she knew that he was completely burnt out. It pushed her to work even harder to make a good life for them.

She balanced four plates of food in her arms and walked briskly to her customers.

"Clare?" She heard behind her. The voice caused her to stop dead in her tracks, almost dropping her customer's meals onto the floor.

"D-Dad?" Clare turned around. Her father and his girlfriend, Irene, were sitting at a table nearby. She hadn't seen her father in almost 6 months, and hadn't talked to him since long before she'd discovered of her pregnancy. She'd only met Irene once, when her father brought his lover to her graduation. It was uncomfortable and unnecessary, to say the least.

She set the plates down in front of the customers while trying to calm her racing heart.

The table that he was seated at was _her_ table. She'd have to wait on them. They'd see her bump.

_This is not good._

She walked back over to his table and smiled critically at Irene. Her father rose from his chair and wrapped Clare into a tight hug.

_Oh God, oh God._

He pulled away quickly and looked down at her stomach. His mouth dropped and he looked her in the eyes, his brows furrowed angrily.

"Clare, are you pregnant?" He asked with a voice low and menacing.

Clare just stared at him, unable to form words. She hadn't even thought about her father since she'd found out about the baby. He was so wrapped up in his own little world that she assumed he wouldn't even find out.

"Yes, daddy." She squeaked out.

Like an angel from heaven, Henry appeared next to her, an appetizer in hand. He set it down in from of Irene and Randall and pulled Clare away.

"Darlene said you looked like you needed a savior. Their appetizer is on me. Who was that guy anyway? He looked pissed." Henry laughed as he pulled an ashen Clare into the kitchen. He looked at her with anticipation, but she was preoccupied trying to swallow back her vomit.

"I know that's not the baby daddy. He's too old and wrinkly to be that Eli kid. His hair didn't look enough like a depressed teenaged boy's either." Henry continued until he got Clare to crack a grin. "I'm going to say that he's _your _dad. Am I right?"

Clare nodded lightly. "Your guessing skills never cease to amaze me, Henry."

Henry smiled and rubbed her back gently. "Well, you can take your break after you get their orders. Maybe you can sit down and talk to him. Our little Clare doesn't need to be gettin' so worked up with a bun in the oven."

Clare agreed and straightened out her shirt, flashing Henry a grateful look. She gathered her strength and walked back over to her father's table. He and Irene looked as if they were deep into a serious conversation.

"A-Are you ready to order?" Clare asked shakily, pen and pad in hand.

She took their orders professionally and waited for her father to say something, anything to her. He continued to pick at the appetizer and, defeated, she walked back into the kitchen. After handing Henry the order, she sulked back out and dragged a chair over to her father's table. She plopped down tiredly and ignored the confused look that Irene gave her.

"Okay, dad, you caught me. Yes, I'm having a baby and no, I didn't tell you about it. It's not like we're close anymore and I didn't need another lecture. It was hard enough telling mom and Eli's parents."

Randall inhaled a piece of food and coughed deeply.

"Eli? That atheist kid? Clare, of all people…" He croaked out.

Clare felt hot anger rise up to her face. "So what if he's atheist? It's not like you are the picture of Christian morals, Dad. You cheated on Mom, for Pete sakes! You got a divorce!"

Randall and Irene froze. Instantly, Clare regretted her outburst. She knew it was too late to take it back, so she took a deep breath and continued.

"Sorry. Blame the hormones for my anger if you want, but don't talk about Eli like that in front of me. He was there for me when you and Mom were too busy fighting."

Randall opened his mouth to speak, but Clare cut him off.

"One more thing, Dad. You are welcome to be a part of my baby's life, but you have to learn how to get along with Mom and Glen. I don't want to deal with the tension and I don't want my child exposed to it. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go get your entrees."

Clare walked away, feeling empowered.

The rest of their dinner went along without a hitch. She brought them their entrees, refilled their drinks and got them desserts without another word about the baby. As they were leaving, Randall walked up to her and put a hand on her arm.

"Clare, you're my daughter and I still love you. Keep me posted, please?"

She nodded and he pulled her into a tight hug. Irene offered her a sincere smile and Clare tried to reciprocate, finding it hard to act sweetly toward the woman who'd stolen her father away.

As she cleaned up their table, she noticed that he'd left a hundred dollar bill wedge with a napkin underneath his class. She thumbed the bill gently and opened up the napkin.

_Clare,_

_For the baby. Buy something from grandpa._

_I love you,_

_Dad_

She felt her eyes well up with happy tears.

Maybe her baby would have two grandfathers after all.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

She lounged on her bed, staring up at the ceiling after her grueling, eight-hour shift. She was anticipating a phone call from Eli so she could tell him about her run-in with her father.

A gentle song played in the background and she closed her eyes tiredly. She was so worn out from work; she didn't know how she was going to spend the next 20 weeks working while pregnant.

She felt a flip in her stomach. Lying completely still, she held a hand on her bump. She felt the flip again.

Her baby was moving.

A knock on the door interrupted her peace.

"Come in." She called, too preoccupied with her moving belly to inquire about the intruder.

"Hey." Jake said as he opened the door.

She scowled and sat up.

"Yes, Jake?" She asked him, irritation peppering her voice heavily.

"How are you feeling?" He questioned sweetly.

She shifted uncomfortably and laughed.

"Bloated."

He chuckled and Clare felt her hate for him curtail a bit. It was hard to remain angry at someone who lived under the same roof. And she loathed the tension that was always in the air whenever they occupied in the same room.

She would try to be civil to him.

Maybe Jake and Eli could be friends, she thought… Maybe he could be Uncle Jake after all.

He _would_ be the only uncle that the baby had until Darcy got married, if she ever decided to come home from Africa.

She decided that she would try her best to be friendly to her step-brother.

"How are you, Jake? How's break going for you?"

He shrugged uncaringly.

"The home-cooked meals have been nice. We didn't have that much chicken at school, so it's a welcome change." He said, boldly sitting on her bed.

They were at a close proximity and Jake accidently brushed his arm against Clare's leg. She blushed at the contact and scooted over on the bed, away from him. Her feet ached from her long day at work. She pulled one up and tried to rub it, but found that her stomach was in the way. She groaned with frustration and Jake snickered.

"Having troubles?" He asked, moving down toward the foot of the bed. He grasped one of her feet and, before she could object, started rubbing it.

"Ah." She moaned, wanting to object to the contact but enjoying the feeling so much. Her swollen feet were feeling decent for the first time in weeks.

"You know, Clare, I could do this for you all the time. I could be there for you, like I used to." He released her foot and inched back up to her, so that their faces were nearly touching. Clare squirmed and Jake held her firmly near him.

"Jake, what are you doing?" She probed, her heart racing uncomfortably.

This wasn't Eli in front of her. This was Jake, her ex, staring in her eyes as if he was about to kiss her. She shoved him away and he recoiled, walking dejectedly toward the door.

He turned around and hung his head.

"I just miss you, Clare. Ok? I… I want you back. And… I feel like you might want me back too."

She gasped. How had he possibly deduced that she wanted him back? She'd told him that she was happy with Eli. She'd rejected him and hurt him so that he'd go away. And here he was, standing in her room, professing his feelings.

"No, Jake. I'm happy with Eli… We're having a baby. I love him."

Jake's face twisted angrily and he clenched his fists.

"Don't remind me." He spat.

Clare felt fear rising up in her chest. She didn't know where this was coming from, but she was shocked. Jake was acting like…

He was acting like Eli during a bipolar episode.

"Please get out of my room." She requested, her voice wavering a bit in fear.

Jake rolled his eyes and left, slamming the door behind him.

With shaky hands, Clare packed up an overnight bag, snuck down the stairs and out the front door. As she left, she knew she would never live comfortably in that house again.

_**Thoughts? Reviews? Follows on tumblr?**_

_**I hope you're all still enjoying.**_

_**Let me know your feelings on this. I appreciate feedback.**_

_**Vann**_


	8. Who Needs Pills? Not me, bro

_**Thank you all for the reviews last chapter! And in all the other chapters! I really appreciate the feedback and I get this warm feeling when I read them. : ) so please keep them coming? Thanks!**_

_**Now, behold, chapter 8 of Foolish Games!**_

_**Vann**_

Clare knocked loudly on the door, rain soaking her curls and running her mascara down her porcelain cheeks. The sky was black, not a single star present to paint even a bit of optimism on the night. A rough wind blew, causing a deep chill to run up and down Clare's spine. Her clothes were soaking wet, as was the bag that she carried.

She knocked again, this time louder and more frantic. Her feet were throbbing from work and her body was quivering intensely with the wind.

No response.

A flustered sob escaped her throat and warm tears trickled down from her eyes. She was pregnant, tired, sore, hungry and pissed-off. All she wanted was a warm bed and some pleasant dreams to help her forget about her asshole of a step-brother.

The rain picked up and Clare knocked once again, as hard as she could muster as huge droplets of rain assaulted her entire body.

The door opened quietly and Bullfrog peeked out cautiously.

"Clare?" He asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He squinted with confusion and opened up the screen door after realizing that she was soaked from head to toe.

CeCe walked down the steps and yawned. Her eyes fell on the dripping wet girl and she gasped.

"Baby-girl, what's going on?" She rushed to Clare's side and pushed soggy curls from the younger woman's eyes. Clare glanced at her miserably, water leaking all over the floor around her.

"J-Jake was scaring me. I can't stay there a-anymore." She hugged herself miserably and sighed. "Can I please stay here tonight? Please?" Her voice cracked pitifully.

"Of course you can! Go upstairs and change out of those clothes. I'll draw up a bath for you, okay?" CeCe rubbed Clare's arms comfortingly and Clare sulked up the staircase.

Bullfrog gave CeCe a worried glance and she sighed tiredly before running up the stairs to make Clare's bath.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Clare lay on Eli's bed lazily, his clothes hanging clumsily off her body. She hugged his pillow tightly and inhaled the scent. It calmed every tense bit of her and she let her eyes shut tiredly, weighted down by the stress of the never-ending day.

She heard the door open slightly. Someone walked in, tossed some things around and climb into the bed with her without even flipping on the light. She felt the bed shift and she flipped over onto her side.

"Eli?" She whispered.

He screamed and flew up from the bed in a panic, grabbing frantically at his end-table before flipping on the light.

Clare stared at him in shock as the bright light stung her eyes. He was holding a knife in one hand and clutching his doorknob with the other. His face fell into a mixture of relief and confusion when he recognized the intruder. He set the knife down and plopped tiredly down next to her.

"You scared the shit out of me, Clare. What's going on? Is the baby okay?" Eli rubbed his eyes roughly. Clare noted the deep bags that hung below them and the pale tint of his previously healthy skin.

"I can't stay there anymore… At my house, I mean." She whispered shakily, laying her head back down and biting her lip to prevent the impending sobs. "Can you hold me? We'll talk about it tomorrow, I promise."

Eli agreed wordlessly and eased himself under the covers next to her, taking her frail body into his arms. He kissed her forehead and watched as she drifted off into a peaceful rest.

()()()()()()()()()

Eli rang the doorknob of the Martin household anxiously and clenched onto Clare's shaky hand. Helen opened the door quietly and offered up a pained smile to the couple. They'd called ahead and informed Clare's mom and step-father of the situation, so awkwardness hung thickly in the air, suffocating Clare as soon as she stepped in. Glen stood by the couch, his arms crossed uncomfortably over his chest, a forced smile painted on his face. Eli nodded toward him subtly and took Clare's hand, leading her up the stairs and into her room. As soon as the door was shut, she took a deep breath and collapsed into a chair.

"Clare, we need to pack up your things." Eli stated, tossing the contents of her dresser into red duffle bag. He grinned evilly when he came across her underwear drawer and launched a pair at Clare from across the room, instigating a fit of giggles from his pregnant girlfriend.

"Hey!" Clare laughed as her panties landed all over her bed. "Aren't you supposed to be packing my room up for me?"

Eli looked at her incredulously and shook his head. "No…we," he motioned between the two of them, a teasing smile playing on his lips, "are going to pack up your room _together_, and then _I _am taking you out to dinner."

Clare gasped excitedly as started to sort out the different items on her vanity. "Where are you taking me? I want Chinese."

Eli laughed as he shoved handfuls of clothing into the bag at his feet. "I guess we're getting Chinese, then. You pregnant ladies and your weird cravings…"

Clare shot him a dirty looked and pouted. "It's not my fault that your child has exotic taste, Eli."

"Yeah, blame the fetus, Clare." He stuck his tongue out at her and she whipped a bottle of hairspray at him.

They continued their playful banter until the room was bare and the boxes and duffle bags were stuffed to bursting. Clare folded the blankets from her bed and placed them in a garbage bag, surveying her bedroom for the last time.

What once served as her sanctuary and home was now the enemy's lair.

She stared at the mattress that she'd spent night after night in, dreaming about her future and all of her wonderful plans. The windowsill where she'd sat the night she'd found out that she was pregnant. The chip in her wall next to the armoire that's she'd accidently caused when she whipped her phone across the room, the night that her and Jake had called it quits. So many memories flashed into her mind as she stared at the now barren floors and pictureless walls.

A silent tear rolled delicately down her face. She felt a calloused hand wipe it off, and soft lips caress her cheek.

"It's going to be okay." Eli promised her.

He was right. It was time for a new chapter, and Clare was ready.

"I know." She whispered. "But that doesn't make it any easier."

()()()()()()()()()()()()

It was Clare's first official night of living in the Goldsworthy's house and boy, was it an interesting one. When Eli and Clare got back from the Martin house and their Chinese date, CeCe insisted that "Clare and the baby need rest," and forced Clare to sit on the couch while they watched Eli and Bullfrog haul in bag after bag and box after box of her belongings. As if that didn't make Clare uncomfortable enough, CeCe launched into a questionnaire about Clare's pregnancy.

"Are you constipated?" She asked, "I was with Eli. The whole pregnancy. Couldn't poop."

Silence.

"Isn't the gynecologist office such a weird place?"

Silence.

"Are you going to deliver vaginally or have it cut out? I was never the same down there after Eli. He had a big head, you know? Still does."

CeCe laughed heartily and stared at Clare.

Clare blushed and refused to make eye contact until CeCe finally got the point that the younger girl didn't want to talk about it.

"Sorry, honey. I forget that you are shy sometimes." She laughed, patting the red-faced Clare on the back gently.

Eli chuckled from across the room, a box full of clothing threatening to spill out from his arms and all over the carpet. "Stop embarrassing Clare, CeCe. She doesn't want to tell you about her lack of bowel movements."

"Eli!" Clare yelled, burying her face in her hands.

CeCe shot Eli an angry look and turned her attention back to Clare. "Have you tried eating more fiber? That might help."

Clare groaned as the Goldsworthy family laughed at her expense.

"I have to pee." She muttered to Eli as she practically ran to the bathroom.

"I bet you have to pee every five minutes! When I-" Clare closed the bathroom door before CeCe could finish her sentence, blocking out the overwhelmingly awkward dialogue.

She stared at herself in the mirror and dabbled at her make-up, which had smeared a bit when she was packing up her bedroom. Her curls were slightly disheveled and she tried to tame them with a dab of water. When she was satisfied, she turned to her side and examined the roundness that was her growing baby bump. She rubbed it softly, fascinated by the firmness of it.

She couldn't believe that a baby was in there. _Her _baby. Eli's baby. Theirs.

She pulled her shirt tightly and studied the way that it curved, small enough to be cute and big enough to scream "pregnancy."

She gazed at the walls of the bathroom, painted a creamy, yellow color that reminded her of her grandma's house, the yellow, tiled floor and the indigo marble counter that housed a sink, a cup full of toothbrushes, Eli's aftershave and a half-used tube of toothpaste.

This is home, she told herself. Until her and Eli found an apartment, she would live here, in the Goldsworthy house, trying to blend in with the quirky family that she loved so much.

She was shacking up with her boyfriend and his parents, basically.

She hated the sound of it, but there were no other options at this point. Jake had made things too awkward back home, and she wasn't about to live on the street while pregnant. Too dangerous.

She emerged quietly from the bathroom and tip-toed back over to the living room. From the doorway, she saw a scene that forced her to laugh. Bullfrog was seated on the couch, CeCe balanced from her spot on his lap. Eli sat next to them, rolling his eyes at the photo album that CeCe held in her hands. CeCe held up the album and a photo of a naked baby Eli clapping his hands caught Clare's eye.

"You've been holding out on me, Eli!" Clare walked over to the couch and snatched the album from CeCe, "Look at that!" She exclaimed, pointing to a photo of baby Eli in the bath tub. She laughed and smiled at her boyfriend, who looked about as embarrassed as Clare had been before. She sat down on his lap gently and stared lovingly into his eyes. "Is someone embarrassed? How does it feel?" She mocked him gently as her fiercely avoided eye contact.

She stuck her tongue out at him and he pulled her in for a quick kiss. Clare heard Bullfrog fake a gag and CeCe smack his arm roughly.

"Ouch, woman! Don't be so rough!" Bullfrog whined.

"Save that for the bedroom, you two." Eli teased. He laughed as Clare's mouth dropped in horror at the implication. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up the stairs before the embarrassment could fully register on her face.

Eli put his hands over Clare's eyes and swung his bedroom door open swiftly.

"Welcome to Hotel EClare!" He grinned, taking his hands away from her eyes and letting her study the room. He had moved the bed against the wall and put a new desk in the corner. He'd completely cleaned up an entire side of the room and emptied out half of the closet and dresser for her.

Clare grinned up at him wildly and hugged him happily. "You didn't have to do this, you know?"

"Of course I did! My lady needs to be comfortable during her stay." Eli smirked and locked the door behind him before falling carelessly onto the mattress. "Now, how will you make it up to me?" He raised his eyebrows at her as she bit her bottom lip seductively.

"I can think of a few ideas."

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

_**Week 22**_

"Clare, you need to wake up. We have class in an hour." Eli chided softly, shaking his sleeping girlfriend.

It was the first day of the new semester, and given that it was Clare's last semester before the baby was born, it was rather important that she put in some serious effort.

High school Clare would have been to school an hour early, with copies of her class syllabuses printed out and color coded by assignment. Pregnant, college Clare wanted nothing more than to sleep through all of her classes for the rest of, well, forever.

Luckily for Clare, Eli wasn't about to let her get away with her lack of ambition.

"You have 3 seconds to get out of bed before I start tickling you." He threatened.

She responded with a low moan and flipped over heavily onto her other side.

"1…2…2 and a half."

Clare lifted her middle finger and snuggled up tighter with her panda.

"That's it!" Eli yelled, lunging at her still-form with his hands readied. He buried them into the warm flesh of her sides and tickled ferociously.

She screamed and jumped up from the bed, clutching onto her stomach protectively.

"Asshole." She muttered under her breath as she pushed past him and into the bathroom.

Eli thought nothing of her outburst as he went downstairs to prepare breakfast. He cooked up eggs, sausage and toast and set a plate up for Clare at the kitchen table, with a large glass of milk to go with it.

About ten minutes later, she moseyed down the stairs in a pair of Eli's sweatpants and a large t-shirt with a black zip-up jacket over it. Eli held back a chuckle as he noticed the slight waddle that she'd acquired over the past few weeks.

"You look cute, Clare." He smiled lovingly at her and received a cold glare in return. "What's wrong?"

She ignored him and grabbed up a sausage link, shoving it hungrily into her mouth. She gulped down about half of the glass of milk and shoveled an egg in after. Eli watched her in awe as she attacked the breakfast that he'd prepared.

When she was finished, she set her dishes in the dishes and grabbed her backpack from the back of the dining room chair. "Let's go." She said flatly, walking outside and shutting the door aggressively.

Eli followed closely behind and climbed into his car after her. She was staring out the window defiantly, with her hands crossed over her chest.

"What did I do, Clare?" Eli asked as he pulled the car out of the driveway and made his way down the road.

"You tickled me. You could have hurt the baby." She stated simply, still staring out the window.

"Clare, tickling isn't going to hurt the baby!"

"I could have fallen out of bed and onto my stomach! I would have lost the baby, Eli." Clare yelled, her voice cracking underneath her façade of anger.

"I wouldn't have let that happen." Eli whispered, gripping tightly to the wheel.

Clare sighed and let her arms fall. "I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm so angry sometimes… I just don't want to lose the baby." She rubbed her stomach lovingly and grabbed Eli's free hand. "Do you forgive me?" She asked.

He pulled her hand up to his mouth and planted a kiss on the top of it. "Of course. I promise I won't wake you up with tickles anymore if you agree to be more reasonable in the morning. We were almost late today. Deal?"

"Deal." She looked over at him and he glanced over, flashing a sly smirk.

()()()()()()()()()()()

Eli sat in his second class of the day. It was his only lecture without Clare, so he was feeling anxious and eager to get out. The class was Professional Writing Skills, as was a 3rd year level course. He knew that the first day of class was mainly about the syllabus and teaching styles, so he didn't bother paying much attention to the stocky woman at the front of the room. She wore spectacles at the tip of her nose and looked like your stereotypical professor-woman, which definitely lessened Eli's level of interest.

He doodled on his syllabus as something that she talked about registered with him as important. He shot up from his drawing and focused on her, drinking in her words eagerly and trying to contain his excitement.

"-best two competitors will receive positions at the Toronto tribune. The position pays well and looks fantastic on a resume, not to mention will significantly improve your writing abilities." The teacher passed out a paper and Eli grabbed at his eagerly, scanning the page desperately to see the requirements for the opportunity that he'd almost completely missed out on.

It was a job.

_Another job._

_One that he could balance with the shop and school_.

_Extra money for the baby._

_Resume._

_Experience._

Everything that a young dad needs to build a life for his family.

Eli knew that he had to get that job. There was no question about it.

He read through the submission requirements. He'd need a 3 creative writing pieces, 2000 words each, 3 opinion pieces, 500 words each, 3 interviews of local personalities, 2 literature critiques, a resume, 5 references and a completely literary portfolio with ten additional pieces.

He started to panic. His creative abilities had been greatly stifled since July, when he'd started taking the pills again. How was he supposed to write all of these pieces when he could barely write a paragraph without feeling writer's block?

He looked at the deadline. November 15th.

It was already September 4th. He had a little over two months to prepare the perfect submission.

He started to get angry. He wasn't going to get anywhere in life if he couldn't write. The pills were inhibiting his talents. It wasn't right.

He needed this second job. He'd do whatever it took to get the job.

Clare would thank him in the end.

She would love him more.

He'd be a provider.

He'd get that job, and he'd get it without the stupid pills.

He grinned to himself and nodded, as if agreeing with himself on a fool-proof plan.

He was done with the pills.

And Clare would never have to know.

He was going to show everyone that he was competent enough to support his family, without having to take pills.

He wasn't crazy.

He wasn't crazy.

_I'm not crazy. I don't need pills._

_**Well, I know this one took a while to get out. Now that I'm through the writer's block, I should be getting updates out faster.**_

_**Please review! Thanks!**_

_**Vann**_


	9. Coffee and Words and Stuff like that

_**Thanks to all who reviewed that last chapter! I hope everybody is still enjoying this story and the progression. **_

_**Here's chapter 9!**_

_**Woot!**_

_**Vann**_

_Week 23_

The words were escaping his mind and masterfully flowing from key to key, spewing themselves out onto the screen in front of him, building masterpieces as his mind ran wild with the over-flowing inspiration. His first creative writing piece for the competition was about halfway done. It was a detailed, first-person account of the stigma that is bipolar disorder. It teemed with complex adjective usage, allegory upon allegory and the perfect balance of detail, fact and entertainment value. He knew it would impress anyone who read it.

He took a large swig from his coffee cup, savoring the bitter flavor and warmth that assaulted his tongue and throat. He popped a potato chip into his mouth and turned his attention to the growing stack of candy wrappers and pop bottles that served as his tablemate in the quiet library. He noticed a slight odor wafting from the pile, of sugar and salt and something bitter. He scooped it up into his arms and walked it over to a trashcan, dumping it in carelessly and provoking a curious look from the only other student in the facility. He gave the onlooker an irritated expression before moseying back over to his work area.

The university library was open 24/7 for students, so Eli had decided to work on submission in there, rather than at home with his loud parents and their Metallica music blasting at all ungodly hours of the night. He couldn't remember how long he'd been there, but it didn't matter. He had important things to do and not very much time.

His laptop was hot, close to overheating actually, and would shut down if it reached a certain temperature. Eli clicked save in a panic when he realized the intensity with which the fan was running.

Then again, once more, just to be sure.

Then, a third time, just in case.

A fourth.

Then, back to typing, spilling out his most intimate and creative thoughts onto the screen, pounding onto the keys with a steady flow of brilliance that leaked from the places in him that he'd completely forgotten about while on his medication.

A librarian approached him and put a hand on his shoulder gently. He didn't notice the contact and continue to type frantically, not wanting to lose any of the ideas that sat in the front of his mind, consuming all of his attention.

"Son," She said quietly, trying not to startle him out of his trance, "are you aware that it's 5am? You've been in here for 9 hours."

Eli froze his typing midsentence, and stared at the corner of the screen.

_5:03am_

He had an 8 hour shift scheduled for 7am.

_Shit._

"Thanks for letting me know. I got a little bit caught up in my writing." Eli mumbled as he pressed save 7 times before turning the computer off and tucking it safely into his bag.

He needed his uniform.

And a shower.

And more coffee.

He rushed out of library and practically ran to his car. He jammed his seatbelt on and, grabbed his cellphone from where he'd left it almost 9 hours ago.

_34 missed calls. _

20 of them were from Clare.

9 were from CeCe's cell.

5 were from Bullfrog's.

_7 voicemails._

He held the phone up to his ear to listen as he maneuveredhis car through the early Friday morning traffic.

_First new message. Time 5:30pm on 9/13._

"Eli, its Clare. I haven't talked to you since 3 o'clock. Are you still giving me a ride home today? Love you, call me back please?"

_Next message. Time: 6:45pm on 9/13_

"Eli, I'm scared. I haven't heard from you at all. I'm gonna call CeCe to pick me up. Please call me? I love you."

_Next message. Time: 6:50pm on 9/13_

"Hey baby boy. It's CeCe. Clare called me; she didn't know you were at the library. I told her, so everything's okay now, but you need to be a bit more considerate of her worries, Eli. She _is_ pregnant. Anyways, dad's frying up chicken tonight, so I'll make up a plate for you and leave it in the fridge. Let me know what time you're coming home. Love you."

_Next message. Time: 8:37pm on 9/13_

"It's Clare. When are you coming home? The baby kicked today. I wanted to surprise you by telling you when you got home, but I'm too tired to wait up much longer. I love you. Wake me up when you get home, okay? Love you. Night."

_Next message. Time 9:45pm on 9/13_

"Hey, Bullfrog here. Where the Hell are you, Eli? Mom's worried. Pick up the damn phone."

_Next message. Time 10:24pm on 9/13_

"Eli, it's CeCe again. Why haven't you called any of us back? Clare was really upset and worried tonight. Hell, I'm worried, kid. Bullfrog and I are going to sleep. If you aren't back in the morning, we're going to the police. Please come home if you are getting these messages. Love you."

_Last message. Time 2:51am on 9/14_

"Eli… I'm really scared that something bad has happened to you. If you get this, please call me. Don't leave me alone with this baby. I need you. Please, Eli, please come home. Please call me. I love you…"

Eli inwardly beat himself up more and more as he listened to the messages. Clare was really upset, and he knew it was his fault.

_But I'll be making so much money when I get this job. _

_It'll be worth the time. She just wouldn't understand yet._

_I'll tell her I had a paper due in Professional Writing._

_I'll tell her that I slept on the couch so that I wouldn't wake her up._

_I'll tell her my phone was dead. _

_This will blow over. _

He pulled up to his house and cheered silently when he saw that all of the lights were off. He tiptoed in through the front door and noticed a figure on the couch.

It was Clare, half-sitting, half-laying, with her panda bear clutched protectively in her arms. She looked worried, even in her sleep.

Another pang out guilt assaulted Eli's throat.

He walked over to her quietly, and lifted her up off of the couch. He carried her to their room and tucked her into their bed, careful not to jostle her too much and wake her from slumber.

The clock read 6am. He knew he was running out of time to get ready for work. As he opened the door to leave for his shower, the bed squeaked and Clare sat up, staring at him intently.

"Good morning, beautiful."

She shook her head at him in disgust and tossed over to her other side, facing away from him.

_We'll talk about it later. _

_She won't be mad later._

_I have to go to work._

_I'll let her go back to sleep._

He walked out of the room without another word and got ready for work.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Eli, come into my office after you clock out. I have some things to discuss with you." Eli's boss, Dave, said before retreating into the tiny corner office of the shop. Eli's heart rate sped up as he wondered what he had done wrong.

_I can't get fired._

_He knows that Clare is pregnant._

_Would he do that?_

_Would he fire me when I need a job the most?_

_God, I hope not._

_What would I do?_

_I'm getting fired. _

_Oh God._

_What am I going to do?_

_Why is this happening to me?_

His head spun insanely fast as he tightened up a bolt on the door of his current project and inhaled deeply, trying not to send himself into a panic attack.

The remainder of his shift dragged by painful and slow, every second ticking down to the inevitable confrontation with his boss. After he clocked out, he walked cautiously over to the small office and poked his head in. His boss smiled and waved him inside. Eli searched the other man's face for any sign of negativity or disappointment, but found none.

_He must not want to give it away that he's firing me._

_He wants to give me hope and then crush me down._

_Asshole._

Eli crossed his arm expectantly and stared his boss clear in the face.

_If he's going to fire me, he can look me in the eyes while he does it._

"Eli, I called you in here to talk to you about your performance here lately."

_Am I not working hard enough? _

_Maybe I can convince him to give me a few more weeks to prove myself._

_I'll pick up a ton of shifts and pay extra attention to quality._

_Maybe I can fix this._

"You've definitely been proving yourself to be a quality member of our team here. Your work has improved a lot over the past few months. Because of that, I'd like to offer you a raise. How does an extra 5% per car sound?"

Eli's felt his jaw dropped and he quickly picked it up, shaking the shock off of his face with an excited smile and nod of the head.

"Thank you, sir! Thank you so much!" Eli shook hands with his boss happily and tried to control the stupid grin that was playing wildly at his mouth. "You have no idea how much I appreciate this."

"Well, you've earned it, kid. Plus, I know what it's like to have a kid at a young age. My wife had my daughter when we were fresh out of high school. It was hard. Every little bit helps. Just, keep up the good work, okay?"

Eli nodded at his boss and grabbed his bag, eager to get home and tell Clare about his promotion.

_Even more money for the baby._

_This is great._

_Once I get that newspaper job, we'll be set. _

_Maybe Clare can quit her job and I can support the family…_

_I should probably work on my papers at the library for a bit._

_I'll call Clare later and tell her the good news._

He drove in the direction of the school and pulled out his phone.

_**Going to library again. Be home around 6:30.**_

**Send to: CeCe and Clare.**

He looked at the clock.

3:30.

He had 3 hours to work on his submission.

_I'll leave at 6. _

_I'll have dinner with Clare and tell everyone about my raise._

_She'll forgive me for yesterday._

_We'll celebrate._

_Everything will be perfect._

()()()()()()()()()()()()

She sat the table, staring expectantly at the door, waiting for him to come in, to kiss her, to have a decent explanation for what was going on.

She wasn't stupid. He'd spent the entire night at the library doing homework? They were a week into the semester! They had basically all of the same classes! Clare knew that they didn't have homework at all that weekend. There was no way that he'd spent 9 hours doing homework for one class.

_He's cheating._

_He's going to leave me._

_He doesn't care about this baby anymore._

_What did I get myself into?_

She looked up at the clock.

8:30.

He was two hours late.

His dinner sat untouched on the table.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. It was CeCe.

"I'm sure he has a good excuse, Clare." She said, half-heartedly, as she picked his plate up off of the table and dumped the contents into the garbage. "Maybe he fell asleep. He was at the library all night, so he probably didn't get much sleep."

"Maybe."

CeCe sat down in the chair next to Clare and turned to face her. She lifted Clare's chin up and their eyes met, causing the younger woman to swallow hard and push away the emotion.

"He loves you. You know he does." CeCe reassured, trying to hold back worried tears of her own. "Maybe he's planning something for the baby, or picking up shifts behind our backs. Maybe he doesn't want to worry anybody by overworking himself, so he's making up silly excuses about the library. Try not to worry, sweetheart. It's not good for the baby." CeCe poked Clare's belly and smiled softly. "You're getting bigger every day. Soon you'll have to waddle to get from place to place." She chuckled and stood up from her chair. "Bullfrog and I are going to watch that new show about zombies. Do you like zombies?"

Clare laughed and shook her head. "No, I'll pass. Thanks though. For everything you've done for me."

"That's what family does, Clarabelle."

The older woman excused herself and Clare contemplated just exactly what made up a family.

What would her small family consist of?

Just her and the baby?

Or would Eli be in the picture too?

Every day, she was less and less sure of what was to come.

()()()()()()()()()()()

He smashed his foot into the accelerator pedal and sped home as quickly as he could. The clock read 11:10pm.

He was late.

Really late.

Again.

_She won't care when I tell her about the raise._

_I have all three of my creative writing pieces done now. _

_I had to do it._

_One day, she'll understand._

When he finally made it into the house and up to his room, he noticed the door was already slightly open. He peeked through the crack and saw Clare at her desk, crying bitterly as she stared at her phone. He pulled his own phone out of his pocket and noticed 21 missed calls and 3 voicemails.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

He pushed the door open slightly and cleared his throat.

Clare didn't even react, just continued to cry, her shoulders heaving up and down with force. Eli kneeled down next to her and wiped at her face. It was burning hot and her cheeks were drenched and swollen.

_She'll forgive me when we're rich._

_She'll be happy that I did this. _

_Our lives will be perfect._

"I love you." He assured, pulling her toward him. He felt her resist and he let go, walking over to their bed and pulling his shoes off tiredly.

Mentally, he felt as if he could stay awake for weeks, but his body was begging him for some rest.

"I got a raise today. 5% more per job. Isn't that great?" Eli rubbed her shoulders sensually and planted butterfly kisses across the blades, sending light shivers up her spine. He moved his hand between her breasts and down to her stomach. He noticed that it felt harder and bigger than it had a few days ago. "The baby's been kicking?"

Clare nodded slightly and stood up from the chair. "I'm going to bed." She pushed past Eli and plopped herself down on the mattress, anger boiling up in her with every passing moment.

How could he act like everything was just fine?

Eli climbed in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. She plucked his hands off of her and grabbed her pillow indignantly.

"I'll just sleep on the couch tonight."

"Cla-"

The door slammed.

Eli willed himself to follow after her, but his body gave into exhaustion as soon as his head hit the pillow.

As he slept deeply in their bed, Clare laid on the couch, tears staining her pillow throughout the duration of the night.

_**Two chapters in a week finished! I quite liked this one. I think we're finally on the right path to dysfunction, am I right?**_

_**Please review. I'm a review whore. **_

_**Thanks!**_

_**Vann **_

_**P.S I've been trying to update my other story, Jump. I can't tell if it's working. It isn't showing up on my computer. Can someone let me know if they are able to read it? Thanks!**_


	10. Manic Depression

_**Despite all of the technical difficulties with the website the other day, I appreciate all of you reading and reviewing when everything went back up. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last and continue to read and review! Thank you!**_

_**Vann**_

_Week 26_

Eli, still thriving in a manic stage of energy and ambition, stumbled through the front door at 1am on that Thursday morning, expecting to see Clare on the couch, waiting for him, as he'd grown accustomed to over the last three weeks. She would wait for him to come through the door, and he would carry her to the bedroom. That was the only interaction that they'd had in almost a month. That nightly bit of contact was the only affection Clare could expect from Eli anymore. He didn't think much of the neglect, however, because it would all even out in the wash. She'd be happy about the money and the new job. She'd forget about all of the nights she'd spent longing for him, crying for him, and wondering about the woman that she'd presumed he was cheating on her with.

It was early October and Eli was getting a lot accomplished on the portfolio. He still needed seven of the ten additional pieces and the three local interviews. He also needed to secure five references of people who didn't know of his bipolar disorder _and_ finish perfecting his resume. There was a lot left to do, but he knew it would be worth it.

Between school, work and the submission, Eli was rarely home. He never really slept, still riding out that wave of mania that helped keep him awake for days at a time. He wasn't too worried about the depression part of the disorder catching up to him. He would simply take his pills if he got depressed.

_No big deal._

_I'm golden. _

_I'm going to have the perfect life._

The perfect life would make up for all of the nights that he came home at 2am, carried her into the room and didn't see her again until the next night, he thought.

But that night, things changed.

Clare wasn't on the couch waiting for him to get home. Eli looked around quizzically for her, completely thrown off by the change in his routine.

He checked the downstairs bathroom, wondering if she'd decided to take a bath while waiting for him.

She wasn't in there.

He sauntered up the steps, sure that she must have gotten cold on the couch and decided to sleep in the bed that night.

She wasn't in there either.

His heart nearly stopped.

_She was kidnapped._

_Oh my God. She was kidnapped and I wasn't here to save her._

_Oh my God._

His bottom lip quivered with completely terror as he rushed into CeCe and Bullfrog's room.

To his surprise, they were both still awake, lounging on the bed, as if they were waiting for something.

"Clare's gone! Something's happened to her!" Eli yelled, alarmed by the lack of panic in his parents. How could everyone be so calm when Clare was missing? "She's been kidnapped!"

"She hasn't been kidnapped, Eli. She moved out. Last week, she told you she was leaving you. I guess you were too busy 'studying'," she did air-quotes with her hands sarcastically, "all night to pay attention to that." CeCe shook her head at him with disappointment and scoffed. "I love you, baby boy, but you really screwed up this time. She told me about all of those promises that you made to her. You can't promise so many things and then just forget about them. That girl is too sweet and innocent to put up with this bullshit. She came in here crying last night, about how she didn't understand why you would cheat on her if you loved her and the baby at all. That's not right, Eli. She needs your love and support, and all you've given her is worry. It's not fair."

Eli stared at his mother in shock. CeCe was a motherly woman, but she wasn't often the type to lecture. Her brow was furrowed angrily and she looked extremely irritated with him, not the concerned mother that he was used to.

"She thinks I'm cheating on her?" Eli asked incredulously, treating it as if it was the most ridiculous accusation he'd ever heard.

"Don't play dumb with me, Elijah. Why else would you be gone all day, every day? We have a copy of your work schedule here… You don't even come home on your days off. Poor Clare..." CeCe busily chewed on one of her nails and avoided eye contact with her son.

Eli fumed and shook his head, ready to blow up, "I'm not cheating on her! I've been working on my writing portfolio for a job with a big newspaper, a really big newspaper, a huge opportunity. I wanted to surprise everyone when I get the job. But no. No. No! I can't do that, I guess!" He started pacing, tugging at his hair roughly and pulling small patches of it out, "Nobody trusts me in this stupid fucking place!" He screamed, tearing at the flesh of his scalp and feeling it collect underneath his nail beds.

The room was red, everything was red and Eli let out a frustrated scream, the feeling of rage building up inside of him was so great that he felt as if the entire world would explode if he didn't release it.

"I'm a good writer! A great writer! You all hold me back, with your pills and your therapy and your fucking expectations!" He spat the words and paced faster, ripping at his hair furiously, feeling strong arms that tried to restrain him. But he couldn't be restrained or he'd lose his mind. He swung at the person and felt the bones of his hand come into contact with flesh. But he couldn't see anything except the white hot rage that was bubbling beneath the surface of his mind. "Eli, be a father, be a provider, be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect son. Eli, go to school and make everybody proud and wait! Here! Here are some goddamned pills that will make you a zombie, so that nobody gets freaked out by how fucking crazy you are! We wouldn't want anybody to be uncomfortable with unstable Eli, who crashes cars for women and writes crazy screenplays! Fuck all of you! I can be something great! I can get published because I'm a great writer! I'll get this job, and I'll show all of you! Clare can raise the kid by herself, while I have a successful life! I don't need a family! I don't need anyone! Fuck you all. I hate you, I hate you, I hate all of you! And I hate Clare and I _hate_ that fucking kid!"

Eli rammed his fists into the nearest wall and felt it crumble onto his knuckles. A savage screech escaped his throat and he fell to the ground, red-faced and gasping for air.

Everything was so red. He was lost inside of a rage that he couldn't explain. It was suffocating him so intensely. With each deep breath, his vision came back slightly.

His eyes were closed.

Deep breaths.

He felt calm.

He opened his eyes and the redness was gone and replaced with normalcy.

CeCe stood in front of him, shaking.

Bullfrog stood behind her, with a tissue paper up to his nose, blood pouring out of it.

And the worst part of it all:

Clare stood in the doorway; face tear streamed and mouth wide open.

She heard it all.

Eli felt heavy. He felt so heavy that he couldn't move. It was over.

His entire body felt covered in concrete.

He just stared at Clare, blank expression.

She held her pregnant belly, gasping for air through pained moans. CeCe and Bullfrog rushed over to her and Bullfrog tried to hold her up as she clutched onto her stomach. Her face was contorted in agony and she cried.

She cried for herself, for her baby, for the life that she was going to live as a single mother. She cried for every moment that Eli had promised, and every promise that he'd broken.

As Eli's parents rusher her to the hospital, their son remained in their bedroom, on the floor, against the wall, with bloody knuckles and a blank expression on his face.

_**Short chapter, I know. **_

_**But dramatic, none-the-less. **_

_**Vann**_

_**P.S Please let me know what you think. : )**_


	11. Time to Rest

_**Thanks a bundle to everyone who reviewed that last chapter! It made me happy that it was well-received by most of you!**_

_**To answer two of the questions that I received:**_

_**Clare is going to the hospital because high stress can induce labor. I didn't elaborate it much, but the pains she was feeling as she was clutching onto her stomach are the cause of the hospital visit. I plan on elaborating on that a lot more in this chapter. **_

_**Clare did move out, but she came back for reasons that I will elaborate on in this chapter. : )**_

_**After tonight's episode, I feel like my portrayal of Eli is a bit more accurate now. Haha**_

_**Anyways, please read and enjoy (and review.)**_

_**Vann**_

She was settled into the soft cotton of her hospital bed, clutching onto the sheet as a doctor examined her lower regions. CeCe held onto her hand supportively and Clare pushed tiny breaths out, trying to calm herself before her situation worsened.

A nurse slipped in quietly and set a chart down gingerly on a table, flashed Clare an empathetic smile and hurried out. The doctor removed his gloves and grabbed the chart, eyeing it intensely. Clare's nerves were completely shot.

"Miss Edwards, judging by your blood work and my examination, it appears that you are at a definite risk for early labor. You had an elevated level of stress hormones, and the pains you experienced tonight were contractions." Clare gasped and forced herself not to panic and cry. "You're going to have to take it easy for the rest of the pregnancy. At 26 weeks, the baby isn't even two pounds. He or she isn't developed enough to come out without great risks. It's going to take a lot of effort on your part to carry this baby to full-term. We're going to keep you here overnight to monitor the contractions and hold them off. Do you have any questions?"

"C-Can I still work, if I don't get too stressed out?" Clare asked timidly, afraid of the answer and all of the negative effects if may have on her life.

Eli was out of the picture. He didn't care anymore, and she knew it. It wasn't just the bipolar disorder. He'd been distant for weeks and he knew how much it was killing her. She'd been getting minimal sleep, crying most hours of the day and spending all of her time at school, appointments, work, and just waiting for him. It wasn't fair to her, and it wasn't fair to the baby. She wasn't going to put her child's life at risk because the father was an inconsiderate asshole.

She'd saved up more than enough money to support herself without working for a few months, but she'd hoped she could keep working until the end of the pregnancy, that way she would feel completely secure. She'd been so sure that Eli would financially contribute, that she hadn't considered what would happen if he left her alone and left her with all of the responsibility. He didn't seem to care at all what happened to them, so she assumed that the fiscal burdens were all hers to bear.

She dreaded the doctor's response.

"In my professional opinion, bed rest is the ideal choice for you and the baby. I know that's a hard concept to grasp, but you are a mother now, and I know you'll do what you feel is best for the baby." He smiled professionally at her and nodded to CeCe. "I'll be back to check on you again soon. Remember to relax and everything else will fall into place." With that, he left the room.

CeCe gathered Clare in her arms and held her lovingly, rocking slowly back and forth. Clare fell comfortably into the embrace, enjoying the warm touch of family. Bullfrog walked in shyly and stood at the edge of the bed, offering up a hearty smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"What's the verdict?" He asked cautiously.

Clare sighed and mumbled, "Bed rest."

Bullfrog laughed and patted her on the leg. "Being lazy is fun, Clarabelle. Cheer up!"

"I don't know how I'm going to afford this apartment now that… Ugh." She rubbed her eyes forcefully and pushed back the ball of anxiety that was forming in her.

_It's for the baby. _

_Breathe._

"Eli will pay for your rent while you're on bed rest. Don't you worry about a thing, sweetheart." CeCe reassured, rubbing slow circles on Clare's back.

"He wants nothing to do with us."

Clare she sat up slightly and cringed, the baby kicking her and evoking an odd pain from her abdomen.

"He didn't mean it. But he'll believe it for a while, because that's how bipolar works. Regardless, he'll be paying for your rent. I have his checkbooks." She flashed Clare a devious grin and looked at Bullfrog, seeking approval for her plan. He nodded sincerely and smiled back.

Clare felt her burdens decrease slightly and sunk into the bed a little deeper, sleep overtaking her in undeniable waves. "Thank you." She mumbled, almost incoherently before falling into an uninterruptable slumber.

()()()()()()()()()()()

CeCe elected to stay with Clare overnight at the hospital while Bullfrog went home to chastise Eli. He knew that Clare wasn't supposed to experience anymore stress, so he decided that it was his role as Eli's father to call him a jackass and force him to straighten up and take responsibility for the baby..

As he walked through the front door, Bullfrog noticed a suffocating silence that hung around the house. They'd been gone for only four hours, but he figured Eli hadn't slept, due to his manic outburst. He'd expected the television to be blaring, pots and pans to be filled with some kind of Eli concoction, and his son to be standing at the kitchen counter in complete denial of what his life had turned into, like he usually did after an outburst.

Instead, Bullfrog was met with the continuing silence that caused a nauseating uneasiness in his belly.

He made his way up the stairs and heard a low groaning sound coming from the master bedroom. Swinging the door open angrily, he prepared himself for battle. His son needed to step up and be a man, and Bullfrog was determined to light a fire underneath his ass and get things going.

The sight before him was enough to break any father's anger.

Eli half-laid on his mother and father's bed, his legs dangling clumsily off of the edge. He was on his stomach, facing toward the door. His eyes were open, but they were void of any emotion. Underneath his belly, Eli clutched onto Clare's panda bear, digging his nails dependently into the soft fur, as if the bear held onto his life source. His body shook lightly, as if he was freezing cold, yet his face was red as if flushed with heat.

"Eli?" Bullfrog whispered, completely unsure of what to do.

Eli groaned miserably in response, feeling the weight of the world upon him.

Bullfrog approached him carefully and sat next to him on the bed, careful not to jar him too much.

"I can't… I just can't…" Eli mumbled, sinking deeper into the mass of blankets.

"You need to take a pill, Eli. Right now." Bullfrog said after finally realizing the state of depression that his son had fallen into. Bullfrog grabbed a bottle of water and the pills from Eli's room and handed them to his son. Eli could barely get himself up off of the bed. Bullfrog grabbed his arm and pulled him into a sitting position. He watched carefully as Eli put the medication on his tongue and swallowed it down with a large gulp of water.

"Is she okay?" Eli asked, terrified of the answer.

"She went into labor. Stress-induced, they said. They managed to stop it, but she's on bed-rest until the baby is born."

Eli sunk back into the bed and cried.

Bullfrog patted him on the back and started to feel sick.

He didn't understand why his kid had to have so many emotional problems.

It didn't seem fair.

_**So, Clare's on bed-rest and Eli's in a depressive state.**_

_**That was pretty much the point of this short chapter.**_

_**I apologize if it felt like filler, because it was.**_

_**I needed to transition onward and upward.**_

_**Review and stuff if you'd like.**_

_**Love you, darlings. **_

_**Vann**_

_**P.S I just wrote a one-shot called 15 years. It's kinda lengthy, but I hope you'll read it. Thanks!**_


	12. Ninja Skills and Swollen Breasts

_**Another chapter for my lovely readers! Thank you all so much for the positive reviews and feedback! They definitely keep me writing, so that's a plus for us all. Haha**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**Vann**_

_Week 29_

"Please tell me where she's staying!" Eli begged his father, "I'll seriously do anything."

Bullfrog shook his head sadly, "You know I can't do that, son. Clarabelle's on bed-rest and she's not allowed to get upset. Do you want your kid to come early and have a bunch of problems?" He looked over at Eli knowingly. "Exactly. Just leave it alone. She'll call you when she's ready to see you."

Eli grumbled under his breath and grabbed his laptop, flipping the lid open carelessly. He'd been practically stalking Clare's FaceRange for details about her whereabouts.

_2 hours ago_

**Clare Edwards:** Little kicks get me through the day. 3

_1 day ago_

**Clare Edwards: **Ultrasound went well this morning. I can't wait to meet my little boy or girl!

Eli wanted to cry at the words.

He wanted to feel his child kick, and see the growth on the ultrasound photos. He wanted to experience all of those beautiful little moments with Clare.

He missed her so much that it caused him physical pain.

Looking at her page both helped him and hurt him. At least he could see what was happening with her.

He scrolled down carelessly until an announcement caught his eye.

**Clare Edwards** _is now friends with _**Jake Martin.**

Eli froze.

He felt like he was being stabbed with thousands of tiny needles.

Jealousy and anger swam around inside of him, overtaking him in a way that almost rendered him blind. Even though he'd been back on medication for almost three weeks, his rage was simply uncontainable at that moment.

He had to find her.

If he didn't find her, he'd go crazy.

"Eli, I'm going out for groceries. Do you need anything?" CeCe called as she grabbed her purse from the coffee table.

_Groceries, my ass. _

_She's going over to Clare's._

"Uh, no, I'm fine. Thanks." He mumbled before shutting his laptop and running up the stairs. "I'm taking a nap!" He called out to Bullfrog before dead-bolting his bedroom door behind him. He grabbed his keys from his desk as soon as his door was secured and watched from the window as his mother climbed in her car and drove away. As soon as she pulled out, he opened up his window and shimmied across the ledge. He grabbed onto the branch of the most steady-looking tree in the yard and climbed down safely onto the lawn, silently thanking Bullfrog for the 3 years of boy scouts that he'd forced Eli to endure as a child.

Eli tip-toed across the street to his car and was sure to make as minimal noise as possible. Once securely inside, he started the engine and pulled off into the direction that CeCe had gone.

It only took about five minutes for Eli to find her. Eli distinguished his mother's vehicle by the radio station stickers on the bumper and just about jumped for joy.

As her car drove past the grocery store, he tried to calm his excitement.

He couldn't wait to see Clare.

It had been over a month since they'd spent time together.

He couldn't take it anymore.

His eagerness threatened to burst out, bubbling up inside of him wildly.

He followed CeCe for about ten more minutes before she pulled into a parking lot. He stared up at a blue building and read the sign outside aloud.

"Bellfield apartments…"

_Bingo!_

He circled the building once before parking on the opposite side of the lot as CeCe and rushing inside.

He spotted her walking up a staircase and trailed far behind her, making sure to be as quiet as possible without losing sight of her.

At one point, she glanced back and Eli ducked behind a wall _just_ before he was spotted.

He normally would have been cocky about such expert ninja skills, but he was too excited about seeing Clare to inwardly boast.

After what seemed like forever and a day, she stopped at a door and knocked lightly. As it swung open, Eli could just scarcely make out the sandy curls and belly of his Clare.

()()()()()()()()()()

For 20 minutes he stood in front of the door, unable to make a move.

He wanted to see her, but he was absolutely terrified.

_What if Bullfrog is right? _

_What if seeing me just upsets her?_

_What if she goes into labor?_

_I can't ruin our child's life. _

_I'm being selfish._

He sighed deeply and turned on his heels, feeling as if he'd been punched in the stomach.

As much as he needed to hold her, kiss her, apologize and earn back her trust, this wasn't the way.

He'd followed CeCe to the apartments in a state of frenzy, with only one goal in mind: seeing Clare. That goal seemed so miniscule compared to what he _should _be focusing on, like saving money, preparing for the baby and winning her trust back.

So many conflicting emotions attacked him as he sulked down the empty hallway. His heart was begging him to knock on that door, while his head was begging him to just leave her alone.

He stopped in his tracks, battling himself intensely…

Who the Hell was he kidding? He'd tracked her down all this way, spent weeks absolutely miserable without her and missed out on two ultrasound appointments.

_I'm definitely being selfish…_

…_It's okay to be selfish sometimes…_

He turned back around and knocked on the door loudly. The thumping of his own heart was like the beating of a bongo drum as he waited for an answer.

As the door opened, he beamed the largest grin that he possibly could muster up.

"Eli."

The person who answered the door was none other than Jake Martin.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

Jake pushed Eli out into the hallway and shut the door behind them.

"What the Hell are you doing here?" The taller man scorned.

Eli realized his mouth was hanging open and he tried to regain his composure, still too shocked and, well, fucking _furious_ to say anything.

"I could ask you the same thing." Eli said vacuously.

"_Someone_ had to take care of her."

Eli sneered at him, a pulsating rage inching him closer to the edge. He clenched his eyes shut and counted to ten, slowly, and felt the frenzy backing down a bit.

When he opened them back up, he saw Clare, standing in the doorway of her apartment, staring at him with a bemused expression.

Eli gawked at her, taking in every inch of her body. Her belly was filled out, the material of a coffee-colored maternity shirt hanging delicately off of it. He hadn't paid attention to the baby's growth since he went off of his medicine, so the sight of her roundness was surprising, to say the least.

Her hair was curled prettily and a headband sat atop the mess of locks, with a dainty brown bow sticking up.

She looked so cute and innocent to him.

Eli was completely taken aback by her.

"You found me." She said with a flat affect, not wanting to give away just how happy and horrified she was to see him.

"I couldn't stay away." He remarked playfully.

CeCe popped her head out the door and, upon seeing Eli, threw it open and trudged over to him. She grabbed him by the back of the neck.

"I can't believe you followed me!"

She dragged him toward the stairs when he heard a soft voice behind them say, "Wait!"

CeCe turned them around and Eli saw Clare smile casually.

"He can stay… for a little while, I mean." Clare looked down at her feet before waddling back into the apartment. Jake followed closely behind, a look of agitation spread obviously across his face.

"You're lucky I don't kick your ass." CeCe uttered as she dragged Eli into the apartment.

Eli inspected the place carefully. Paintings of different nature scenes were hung up around the living areas. The walls of the main space were painted an off-white color. There was a small living room off to the left with a two-seater couch, a mini television and a coffee table. The kitchen was on the right, consisting of 3 counters, an oven, a microwave, a sink and a small wooden table with four chairs around it. In the middle of the table was a framed picture of him and Clare at her senior prom. There was a hallway, with two doors on the right and one of the left. He assumed those were the bedrooms and the bathroom.

Clare plopped down into one of the dining table chairs and looked at Eli expectantly.

He sat down across from her at the table, his legs almost giving way as he tried to calm his qualms. Jake scoffed in his direction, but Eli shook it off and smiled nonchalantly at Clare.

"Can I have a moment alone with Clare?"

"Absolutely not." Jake jeered.

"Jake, it's fine." Clare shooed him away and he walked out of the room reluctantly, slamming the door on the way out.

"I'll head home too." CeCe announced worriedly, "If you need anything, call me." She glowered at Eli before saying, "We're having a serious talk when you get back."

Eli chuckled nervously as she departed and left the jilted lovers in privacy.

"It's a nice apartment." Eli professed, tightening and untightening his fists to exert some of his pent-up anxiety.

Clare bit her lip nervously and nodded. "It feels like home already."

Eli concurred and cleared his throat gracelessly, "What's going on with you and Jake?"

Clare rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her swelling bosom, drawing Eli's attention to the fact that her pregnancy had been _very_ kind to her breasts. He felt himself reacting to the sight and shifted in his chair to try and suppress it.

"I forgave him... I kind of had to… He's been picking up my assignments and stuff… I'm on bed-rest, you know…I almost had the baby after…" Her face tightened up sadly and Eli noticed a gentle quiver of her bottom lip.

"I was off of my meds… I know that it's no excuse… but I wasn't thinking clearly… I've been trying to find you since you left…"

"You said that you hated the baby." Clare whimpered, caressing her stomach lovingly. "That just broke my heart, Eli."

"I love you and the baby _so_ much, Clare. That's why I wanted that second job. I just wanted us to be a happy family." His voice cracked and he looked away from her gaze. "I guess I ruined that."

"Yeah, you did." Clare choked out. She stared at Eli and felt a familiar love surge into her.

He was so handsome.

She missed him, a lot.

She'd missed him for months, especially when he was off in his own little world.

She needed him back in her life.

Their baby needed a father.

"If you would have just taken your meds, we would be fine. This would be _our_ apartment. I wouldn't be…" She felt a few tears slip down her face and decided that it was okay. He needed to see how she felt. No more hiding. "I wouldn't be so alone. I wouldn't have to miss you so much. Our baby would have two loving parents, who loved each other. You _promised_ me, Eli. You promised that you would take the pills, every day. Remember? You said you would do anything."

He remembered the conversation clearly, because he knew that it had meant the world to her.

"_I'll take the pills, Clare. I'll start taking them now." He sighed, defeated, as he reached into the glove compartment for a bottle of his medication. He popped one reluctantly in his mouth and said a silent goodbye to the Eli who those pills inhibited. He knew that his spark would fade soon. But also, his rage would fade and he would take better care of Clare. "I'll take them every day. I promise you, Blue Eyes. And we'll start looking for apartments as soon as we can. I won't hurt you anymore…Clare, please look at me."_

"I-I know. I really, really screwed up. Hurting you was never an intention, Clare. It wasn't even an _option_. I got so caught up in my goals that I forgot why I set them in the first place. I'm sorry… You're the love of my life… I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself now." Eli buried his face in his hands.

Clare could see that battle that was taking place inside of him. A similar battle was taking place inside of her.

She wanted to trust him, but was terrified of the pain.

He wanted her back, but was terrified of himself.

She knew she may regret it later, but she just couldn't let him leave again. She just _couldn't._ God had given her the out that she'd begged for before she was pregnant, the way out of the relationship that had torn her to pieces at times. He'd given her ample excuse to leave Eli, and good reason. He'd even given her the courage to be on her own for a little while.

But she just couldn't let him go.

It was a decision that she'd live with for the rest of her life, whether it brought about good results, or bad.

"Move in with me." She suggested simply.

Eli blinked bewilderedly and shot her a look of suspicion. "This isn't the time to be joking, Clare."

"Am I laughing? No, I'm not." She said smugly. "You said you didn't know what to do with yourself, so I said, 'move in with me.'"

She smirked at the look of shock on his face.

"You're serious?" He stuttered.

"Deadly."

Eli nodded, feeling disoriented. He pinched himself and made sure that he wasn't fast asleep and in some kind of perfect dream.

"Stay with me tonight, and get your stuff tomorrow." She instructed, the authoritative tone entirely gone from her voice and replaced with gentleness.

Eli conceded again and observed as she wobbled into one of the rooms and closed the door without another word. He followed her curiously and peeked through the door. She was sprawled out on the bed, tears surging down her slightly swollen cheeks. Eli gathered her into his arms and pulled her close to him, holding her like an infant.

"What's wrong?" He urged smoothly, in awe that someone could look so stunning while sobbing so powerfully.

She was fine at the table… he didn't understand the sudden alteration in her behavior.

"I-just-want-you-to-be-with-me." She managed out between sobs.

Eli stroked her hair and rocked her back and forth slightly. "I'm here now."

"But-you'll-leave-again-you-always-do."

"Not this time, Clare. I missed you too much."

"How-can-I-trust-you?"

Eli thought for a second before replying.

How could he prove that he wouldn't leave again?

"I'll take my pill every morning, right in front of you. And you can inspect my mouth to make sure I swallowed it."

Clare agreed and snuggled into his neck, seemingly content with that answer. Her sobs died down into occasional hiccups and she relaxed into the embrace. He laid her down on the bed and sat up, moving himself down to her middle.

"Baby, its dad. You stay in there for a few more months, okay?" Eli directed.

Clare giggled and said, "I felt a kick. He or she must recognize you as the asshole who made me cry… Our baby wants to kick you."

"Ouch, lady." Eli joked, rubbing his hands on her belly. "Maybe it was a love kick."

He found her bump to be one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen in his life. He had no idea why, though. Something about the fact that he'd created that with her, in a moment of, raw, unadulterated passion, just turned him on.

That and the fact that he hadn't had sex in months.

And couldn't have sex for months to come.

He planted tiny kisses on her belly and pushed away thoughts of his sexual frustration.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you more. For a long time."

He knew what she meant by that. It hurt to hear.

"I know…" He cuddled up next to her, pulling her as tightly to his chest as her belly would allow. "I'm here to stay now, Clare. You can't get rid of me, even if you try."

_**I'm tired. It's 6:21am…**_

_**Review please?**_

_**Night!**_

_**Vann**_


	13. Food, Showers and Shelves

_**All of my stories are so sad and moody right now.**_

_**So, it's time for an appropriately fluffy chapter.**_

_**LET THE ECLARE ROMANCE COMMENCE.**_

_**P.S This chapter is NOT going to be all sexy and smutty. Just a little. Barely.**_

_**Don't get your hopes all up…**_

_**Amongst other things.**_

_**Boner joke! : D**_

_**Anyways… Thank you all SO MUCH for the 100+ reviews that I've gotten on this story! For cereal, that's really bomb-ass and I'm ridiculously grateful! **_

_**If you wanna talk one on one (winky face) you should tumblr me. Vanilllabare . tumblr . com**_

_**Or, youtube stalk me at youtube . com / vanilllabare **_

_**I write and play mediocre music and stuff like that.**_

_**That is all. : D**_

_**Vann**_

_Week 32_

Clare sat idly on the small sofa, knitting a yellow baby hat and listening to indie pop on the miniature stereo that Eli had brought back from the Goldsworthy's house.

Eli pulled a tray of baked chicken out of the oven and set it on the countertop before divvying up onto their plates. He poured a large glass of milk and stacked vegetables and potatoes onto one of the plates before setting it in front of Clare.

"Dinner is served, mi lady." He smirked as she dropped her knitting and dug into the meal with the fury of, well, a pregnant woman. "You know, Clare, popular theory suggests you chew before swallowing."

She shot him a "mind your own business" glare before taking a large forkful of potato into her mouth. "Uh-mfk-mnm-numf."

Eli chuckled and grabbed his own meal before plopping down next to her on the sofa. The cushions shifted with his force and the glass of milk in Clare's hand spilled all over the front of her, dousing her breasts, stomach and lap in the drink. Eli suppressed a laugh and set his plate down on the coffee table.

"My bad…" He laughed as he dabbled at her breasts with his napkin and, to no avail, tried to clean up the mess.

Clare shivered at the chillness and rolled her eyes, shrugging as she shoved a piece of broccoli into her mouth.

"I'll take a shower after dinner."

Eli eyed her incredulously. "Um, the Clare I know would have yelled at me for that, then perhaps cried over the… spilt… milk and the fact that I ruined her grandma's shirt." He guffawed at the cliché and Clare poked him with her fork.

"My grandma is very important to me, Eli! _Some_ of us are on bed-rest, Eli. What if I went into labor while crying over the mess that you made? Hm?" She glanced at him and giggled as he scoffed at her ridiculous logic. She slouched back on the couch and set her plate on her belly, squealing excitedly as she balanced it. "Look, a shelf!"

Eli laughed at her and snatched a carrot from her plate. "Shelf steal!"

"Hey! Give it back, Eli! That's _my_ carrot!" Clare put her hand out and he opened his mouth, revealing the chewed up mess of carrot. "Gross." She stabbed her fork onto his plate, which was carelessly set on the edge of the table. As she tried to snatch a carrot, the plate toppled over and Eli's dinner splattered all over the carpet.

Clare's mouth formed into an 'o' and she waited for an explosion.

Eli stared at the mess, and grabbed another carrot from Clare's plate. He shoved it into his mouth, grinning wildly as he exclaimed, "Shelf steal!"

Clare smacked him and hid her plate away.

"Wow…the Eli that I know would have written a play about me after that, using an obvious pseudonym that directly suggested that the main character was actually me, and then perhaps performed it in front of everybody that I know..." Clare remarked.

Eli's mouth dropped open and a smirk played on his lips. "Clara Edwin purposely sabotages Ari's dinner, causing him to go hungry for days and drop into a diabetic coma, in which he will spend the final days of his short life… Perfect! I can see it already! As the lights fade to black at the end, she kneels down next to his casket and holds up their child, the child he never got to meet, lion king style, and says dramatically, 'This is your father, Simon… He'll never go hungry again…' And the lights fade to black."

"Why the name 'Simon'?"

"Simon, Simba? You know, from The Lion king?"

"Oh… sure… Don't quit your day job, Goldsworthy." Clare smiled sarcastically before struggling up from her spot on the couch. She waddled over to the sink and set the dishes down tiredly. "Here, catch!" She threw him a roll of paper towels and shuffled down the hallway. "I'm taking a shower!"

Eli grinned and waited until he heard the sound of the shower going before stripping out of his own clothes and knocking on the bathroom door.

"What?" Clare yelled.

He opened the door and smirked at the naked woman. "Pregnant ladies shouldn't shower alone. You're so clumsily… someone should be present to catch you." Eli climbed behind her and relished the hot drops that steamed his skin. He wrapped his arms around her and she moved closer to him, her belly pushing into his lower abdomen.

She laughed at the look of sexual desire on his face and handed him a bar of soap. "Wash me?"

He growled lowly at her before rubbing the soap onto her chest, back and stomach. "Tease." He mumbled.

"What was that?" She snickered, eyeing his dripping body before biting down lustfully on her lip.

"Don't look at me like that, Edwards. You're making this difficult…" Eli threatened through clenched teeth, willing Little Eli to _stay down_.

"Oh, I'm making it _hard?_" She licked at her bottom lip and brushed her hand gently against his growing problem. Eli's eyes rolled back a bit and Clare nibbled on his chest.

"Clare… Stop."

Clare tilted her head up at him and smiled. "Your wish is my command, Mr. Goldsworthy." She climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel in her hair before throwing on her robe and walking out of the bathroom.

"Wait! Come back here!" Eli called out.

"Can't! Bed-rest!"

He could hear the smile in her voice as he cursed his own body for wanting what he couldn't have.

He got dressed and strolled out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Clare was lying on the couch with a pair of retro headphones on her belly, music blasting out of them loud enough of him to hear from across the room.

"What are you doing?"

"Playing Beethoven for the baby."

"Why?" Eli asked her, pulling a gallon of ice cream from the freezer quietly.

"I read somewhere that playing classical music for babies makes them happy and smart."

"Well," Eli said while scooping chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream into two bowls, "our baby has a brilliant mother. I'm sure he or she will turn out just fine."

Clare blushed and opened her mouth to reply as the phone rang.

"I'll get it." Eli declared, setting a bowl of ice cream down on Clare's belly. "Ice cream shelf!"

Clare gasped happily and dug into the cold treat as Eli grabbed the phone from the receiver and cleared his throat. "Goldsworthy Edwards's residence, how can I help you?"

Clare about choked on her ice cream at his formality and turned the music down to eavesdrop.

"Wow… okay… Yes, that's fantastic! Thank you so much! Okay… yes! I will see you soon… Monday afternoon, sure! Thank you! ... Yeah, you too!"

He set the phone down happily and ran over to Clare, kneeling down to her level and planting a huge kiss on her ice cream covered lips.

"What's going on?" She asked gleefully while wiping away a smudge of chocolate from his lip.

"I got that job with the Tribune, Clare! I start Monday! I-I can't believe it! Can you believe it?" Eli could hardly contain his excitement. He looked at his girl and saw traces of tears in her eyes. "Clare?"

She wiped a tear away and smiled shakily at him. "I'm proud of you, Elijah."

Eli grinned and grabbed her hands, moving from the floor to the spot next to her on the couch. "What else, Clare?" He asked seriously. "Something's bothering you."

"Your pills… You're still going to take them, right? The last time you needed to write-"

"Clare, don't." He said sternly, placing a hand over her mouth. "I promised you, didn't I? You took me back, and I promised I would do better this time… I wouldn't do anything to lose you again. Don't. Worry." She opened her mouth and tried to reply. Eli shook his head warningly at her, "Conversation over, Edwards!" He removed his hand from her mouth and grabbed her ice cream bowl. He dug up a spoonful and put it close to her lips, jacking it away as she was about to devour it, and placing the creamy bite into his own mouth. "Ice cream steal!" He set the bowl back down on her shelf and jumped up from the couch.

"Hey! Where're you going?"

"I have to call CeCe and Bullfrog to tell them about the job… Oh, and Adam! And Fiona!"

Eli grabbed the phone and began what would be the first of many phone calls he'd place that night.

_**Short, happy, cheesy, food-filled chapter!**_

_**You like?**_

_**: D**_

_**Vann**_


	14. Turkey and Secrets

_**Holy moley, the reviews on this are making me so incredibly happy!**_

_**Thanks everybody, and please keep it up, because they make me feel ridiculously good.**_

_**Onwards and upwards? Yes. Time for Chapter 14!**_

_**Vann **_

_Week 33_

Clare fumbled up the steps to the Goldsworthy household with a balmy pie dish propped up securely on her hip, and Eli's hands cemented onto her back, providing extra support for her growing frame. She knocked hesitantly and Eli ridiculed her, "Clare, it's my parent's house. You don't have to knock." He reached around her and swung the door open, a plethora of orgasmic smells wafting towards them within seconds.

Clare sniffed the air deeply and sighed with content, "Gosh, I'm hungry."

CeCe wandered out from the kitchen and let out a squeal of delight when she noticed the guests in her living room. "Baby boy!" She exclaimed heartily. She rushed over to Eli and squeezed him forcefully, practically suffocating him with the intensity of her embrace and, in turn, getting flour all over his button-up, black dress shirt.

He closed his eyes and pulled his mother closer to him, returning her embrace with a strong one of his own.

What could he say? He missed his momma.

"Happy Thanksgiving, mom."

CeCe looked at him suspiciously and put her hands on her hips. "You called me mom… Why the seriousness, Eli? Do you have something to tell me? Wait… Please don't tell me you got Clare pregnant?" CeCe chuckled at her humor as Eli rolled his eyes. She let go of him and moved over to Clare, taking in the sight of her happily before wrapping her arms around the other woman. "We've missed you, baby girl! How's bed-rest? I trust Eli's been treating you well?"

Clare grinned at him over CeCe's shoulder and hugged her back. "I guess he's been okay." CeCe shot Eli and angry look and Clare laughed, "I'm kidding, CeCe. He's been taking great care of me."

"He'd better be. Come into the kitchen and sit down, dinner is about ready." She snatched the pie from Clare and urged them into the other room.

As CeCe opened the door to the dining area, Clare's jaw fell in disbelief at the sight. The room was packed with dozens of people bearing cards and gifts, swathed in pastel-colored wrapping paper. Clare didn't recognize any of the people, but several rose from their chairs and attacked Eli with hugs and congratulations at the sight of him. A woman appearing to be in her late 40's grabbed Clare and pulled her into an unexpected hug.

"You must be Clare! I'm Eli's Aunt Darlene! CeCe has told me so much about you! Look at that bump! I can't believe my little nephew is going to be a father!" She went on and on, completely overwhelming Clare.

She listened to the woman prattle on about Eli for a few minutes before flashing a polite smile and exiting the room casually. She could feel the tell-tale signs that the doctor had warned her about, the signs of a blood pressure rise that she was supposed to avoid at all costs, unless she wanted to go into labor on Thanksgiving, amongst dozens of woman that she'd never met before.

Eli greeted his relatives with hugs and smiles. Mostly women occupied the room… aunts, cousins and grandmothers left faint lipstick stains on his cheeks and sentimental tears on his floury shirt. He looked around the room anxiously for Clare, unable to find her in the swarms of ladies and grumpy-looking men. He spotted Bullfrog in a corner, chatting happily with his own father. Eli's grandfather was a jolly man, resembling St. Nick in stature and attitude. Eli hadn't seen his grandpa in almost two years.

"Well well well, if it isn't my namesake!" Elijah Goldsworthy Sr. rose from his chair and pulled young Eli into a bear hug. Eli felt the pressure building up in his chest as his grandfather literally squeezed the life out of him. "Happy Thanksgiving, Eli! I hear the safe sex talk didn't do you much good huh, kid?"

Eli felt warmth assault his cheeks and he offered up a grin to his grandfather. "Guess not, granddad."

"Your dad says she's a good girl… Says she's got a big heart, and deserves a lot better than you." Elijah Sr. and Bullfrog laughed. Eli squinted his eyes at his father in irritation.

"Yeah, he's right… I guess I'm just a lucky guy… Must be the Goldsworthy genes." Eli smirked and looked up at Bullfrog curiously. "Have you seen Clare? She disappeared."

Bullfrog looked concerned and shook his head. "I haven't, but you'd better go find her and make sure she isn't having your kid on the floor somewhere."

"Not funny, Bullfrog." Eli muttered before stalking out of the overly-crowded room and into the kitchen. CeCe was pouring a pot of steamy brown liquid into a gravy boat and humming an unfamiliar tune.

"Have you seen Clare?" Eli asked her before shoving a piece of turkey into his mouth.

"Hands off until dinner, Eli! And no, I haven't seen Clare… She's probably taking a nap or something. When I was pregnant with you…"

Eli's rushed up the stairs before she could finish her sentence.

Thoughts of helpless Clare, lying painfully on the ground, alone and dying, haunted his thoughts.

He mentally beat himself as he flung doors open, praying to an unknown god that she was okay. He opened the door to his old room and expected to see the absolute worst. Instead, he was greeted with a scene that melted him into a ball of cheese. Clare was lying on the bed; a little boy who looked about two years old was sitting next to her, running a toy truck up and down her belly. Clare was giggling and the boy was spewing out gibberish proclamations of joy. Clare picked up him under the armpits and swung him to the other side of the bed, gently digging her fingers into his fleshy sides and evoking a fit of hysterical laughter. Eli cleared his throat and Clare jerked up at the sound, greeting his stare with a large smile and happy blue eyes.

"Who's this?" He motioned toward the boy, who was ogling up at him with giant blue eyes and a look of wariness.

"This is Alex, your baby cousin." Clare held the boy up and Eli snatched him away, giving her an irritated expression.

"You aren't supposed to be lifting, Clare. It's not good for the baby."

"Baby!" Alex squawked, kicking his captor squarely in the gonads before bouncing back over to Clare and setting his tiny hands onto her large belly. "Baby."

Eli grabbed himself in agony and fell onto his knees as Clare and Alex erupted into another fit of giggles.

"Aren't you just a little cutie?" Clare remarked as she planted a sloppy kiss onto the toddler's face.

He responded with a frown and wiped at his face frantically. "Gross."

Clare laughed and ruffled his hair before setting him on the ground and kneeling down next to Eli. "You okay down there?"

Eli groped his injured manhood and shot her a look of pain. "Oh…Just ducky." He struggled to his feet and took a haphazard step, wary of the soreness that occupied his most fragile parts. "I was worried about you."

"I was a bit overwhelmed, so I decided to hide out here for a little while… I hope that was okay."

Eli put his arm around her and pulled her in for a chaste kiss. "I suppose I'll let you get away with it this time."

()()()()()()()()()()()

When Eli and Clare made their reentry to the celebration, hordes of Eli's relatives were sitting around the domicile with plates of food propped up cautiously on their laps. Clare was greeted with waves and smiles from the woman and looks of approval from the men. She plopped down on an empty couch and put her feet on the ottoman tiredly. Eli planted a kiss on her forehead and said, "I'll make you a plate," before strolling into the kitchen.

On the couch next to her was an older woman holding Alex on her lap. Clare smiled as the little boy reached over, grabbed a fist full of mashed potatoes, and piled them into his grinning mouth. The woman glanced over at Clare and smiled happily. She appeared to be in her 70's, but seemed in good shape and health.

"You're Clare, aren't you?" She put a hand up to her mouth sentimentally and choked back a tear. "I can't believe I'm about to have a new great-grandbaby."

"Oh! You're Eli's grandma?" Clare asked politely, fighting back a blush and wishing Eli would introduce her to people to eliminate the awkwardness.

"Yes, I'm Cecelia's mother… She's told me a lot about you, Clare… About all of the things Elijah's put you through in the past few years… It takes a strong woman to stick by a man through so much… You're a commendable girl."

Clare smiled embarrassedly at the older woman and half-shrugged. "Eli's a good man. He has a big heart."

"What about my big heart, Edwards?" She heard behind her, rolling her eyes at the familiar tone of arrogance in Eli's voice.

"I was just telling your grandma that your heart is engorged from eating too many cheeseburgers. Big, fatty heart." Clare smirked up at him and Eli's grandmother chuckled. He sat down next to her, balancing two plates that were brimming with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, cranberries and biscuits. He set her plate gingerly on her lap before digging hungrily into his own.

"It's about to get a lot bigger."

Clare giggled and watched her boyfriend gorge himself on carbohydrates. She picked classily at her meal and enjoyed the bustle of family reuniting around her. It was a homey environment, and Clare felt nothing but love from all sides of the room.

When everyone was finished with their meals, CeCe stood up on a barstool and Bullfrog held her by the waist for security.

"I'd like to thank everyone for joining us today... As you all know, along with celebrating Thanksgiving together, we're here to celebrate something very special to Bullfrog and I… our first grandbaby! For those who haven't met her, this is Clare." CeCe motioned over to Clare and the younger girl felt her cheeks flood as every eye in the room turned to her. "She's like the daughter that we never had, and we couldn't have thought of a better girl for our son to be with." CeCe's voice cracked with emotion and she smiled warmly at Clare.

"We love you, Clarabelle… On that note, would you like to say something?" Bullfrog asked Clare, and she felt as if she was going to die at the suggestion. She wasn't one for talking in front of strangers, especially with her stressful circumstances.

Eli noticed the sudden sweatiness of her palm in his own, the quickening of her breath and the shaking of her entire body as Bullfrog asked her to address the guests.

"Uh, Bullfrog, I'd like to say something if- uh, if that's okay?" He chimed in, provoking a sigh of relief from Clare and the reassurance that she wasn't going to have a mental breakdown in front of his family.

Bullfrog nodded and Eli stood up from the couch. Public anxiety attacked him the moment he rose from his seat, and he had the sudden desire to grab Clare and run out the front door. He shook it off and reminded himself that he was a father now, and fathers don't cower from situations, especially minor ones like this.

"Uh, well, I just want to thank all of you for coming here today to c-celebrate with us. Uh, w-when Clare first told me that she was pregnant; I really thought my life was over." He heard a few chuckles from the men in the room and they nodded at him knowingly. "For a moment, I believed that this baby would be the end of my freedom, my happiness, and the end of my happy-go-lucky life… But when it finally sunk in, and I realized what it meant… when I looked down at this beautiful girl and realized that we had created a life together, I knew that my _own_ life was just beginning... There's nobody else in the world that I'd rather have a family with. I love you, Clare, and I think you are going to be the best mom in the world… O-o-other than CeCe, of course." He heard a few light laughs and looked down at Clare, offering her a loving smirk at the sight of her glassy eyes. He looked back at his audience and noticed a few of them were wiping away tears of their own. "Thank you all again for supporting us as our lives are about to change in a crazy way, and happy Thanksgiving."

Eli sat back down and his family clapped politely for him. Clare squeezed his knee and kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "I love you, Eli."

"I love you too, Clare."

After that, the madness began. Mounds of gifts were set in front of Clare and Eli. After almost an hour of opening presents and simultaneously munching on assorted desserts, the young parents were left with a stroller, a car seat, a crib, 12 cloth diapers, 4 boxes of disposable diapers, a breast pump (which Clare had blushed madly at the sight of,) several gender-neutral baby outfits, infant toys, a few teething rings and $700 in cash and checks. Clare was completely overwhelmed by the generosity of Eli's family. As the guests filed out, one by one, Eli shook hands and accepted kisses on the cheek as Clare expressed her gratitude toward each person with a few lovely words and her most thankful smile.

As he was getting ready to leave, Eli's grandfather, Elijah Sr., pulled Clare into a tight hug. Clare hadn't spoken to him yet, and was extremely nervous to speak to the man that she recognized as her boyfriend's namesake.

He pulled her aside into a more private section of the room and beamed down with a joyous grin. "Well, young lady… It's about time I meet the girl that little Eli is so crazy about! I'm Elijah Sr., but you can call me Grandpa G."

Clare nodded shyly at the man and he reached down into his pocket searchingly. He clenched something in his fist and leaned down closer to Clare, placing a hand on her shoulder gently. "I love my grandson, I really do… But I know what he can be like… That disease, that polar thing, it really screws him up sometimes. He's a good kid, but sometimes he doesn't realize how he is hurting the people around him… He's lucky to have Cecelia and Jim… and you, Clare. He's lucky to have a woman around who will take him back after he screws himself over…" Grandpa G. opened up his hand and revealed a roll of cash. Clare's mouth gaped open at the sight of a $100 dollar bill on the outside of the roll. "I want you to take this, and I don't want you to tell Eli… you can use it for emergencies, or the kid's college fund, or anything… Just know that you've got Goldsworthy's who will help you if Eli gets… sick again."

"Sir, I can't accept this." Clare tried to hand him back the wad of cash and he shook his head stubbornly.

"It's non-negotiable sweetheart. Just make sure he doesn't find out that his old Grandpa G. is going around behind his back, okay? I just want to know that my grandkid is taken care of…Consider it a gift for the baby."

"Well, thank you, sir… I'll put it to good use." Clare assured, clutching the wad of cash in her hand and hugging the man as tightly as a pregnant woman could.

Grandpa G. returned the hug before crossing over to Eli and picking him up off of the ground. Clare tucked the wad of money into her pocket and went into the bathroom after all of the guests were gone. When the door was secured and locked safely behind her, she pulled out her cash stash and hesitantly unrolled the bundle, revealing bill after bill. With shaky hands, she counted the bills and felt nauseous and lightheaded at the grand total.

_$5000._

_$5000 that I can't mention to Eli._

_**Chapter 14 done and over! **_

_**And yes, I did say that Eli was melted into a ball of cheese…**_

_**Get over it. : )**_

_**And please review!**_

_**Thanks a bundle,**_

_**Vann**_


	15. More Food and Paints

_**Hello, lovers. It's time for chapter 15!**_

_**I would just like to say thank you all so much for the positive feedback I've received on this story and all of the other ones I've written. It means a lot and it makes me feel great!**_

_**So… keep it coming? : ) Thanks!**_

_**Vann**_

_Week 36_

"Clare, where are you?" Eli hollered from the living room, engulfed in the darkness of the powerless apartment.

"In the bedroom!" She called back; sounding muffled under what Eli presumed was a layer of blankets.

He felt along the wall and inched his way toward their bedroom, careful not to run into any furniture along the way. He clutched four plastic bags in his right hand and eased himself along, sighing with relief when he finally felt the icy cold knob of their bedroom door. He eased the door open and was disappointed that the bedroom was only slightly warmer than the rest of the house, and just as dark.

"Clare?" Eli called out, walking cautiously to the foot of their bed. He led with his feet, smashing his shin into the bed frame and hissing painfully between clenched teeth. "Shit, shit, shit."

Clare pulled herself into sitting position and scooted down the mattress. She couldn't see anything, but followed the sound of her lover's pained cries. "What happened?"

"Fucking….bed… ouch…" He sat down on the edge and Clare hugged him gently from behind as he rubbed the pain out of his leg. He relished the feeling of her belly pressed against his back and found her face with his hands, cupping her cheeks lovingly and pulling her into a heated kiss.

"Did-" He kissed her again, "you bring-" Another kiss, "candles?"

He pulled the bags up onto the dark bed and rummaged through them blindly. "Why, of course. I also got a flashlight and Burger hut for dinner." He declared triumphantly. Clare chuckled and he furrowed his brows at her through the darkness. "What's funny about Burger Hut?"

"Nothing, nothing... It's just… if you bought a flashlight, why didn't you use it to get to the bedroom?" Clare laughed while rubbing his slightly damp shoulders.

Eli felt his cheeks flush and he pulled away from her. "Don't mock me, woman. I'm tired and cold." Eli pouted playfully, struggling to put the batteries into the flashlight to provide them with at least bit of light. "Did you call the power company?"

"Yeah… They said that they'll be out here sometime this week." Clare shivered and pulled the blankets over her exposed shoulders. A ray of light shot out from the orange flashlight in Eli's hand and Clare squealed with excitement. She seized it from him and used the light to rummage through the bags of candles and food in front of her. She grabbed up a burger from one of the bags and ripped the paper from it before consuming it like a lion ingesting its prey.

He stared at her in awe as she took a huge bite from her cheeseburger and washed it down with a gulp of cold water. Her hair was disheveled and slightly knotted with flattened curls and a mild sheen. She was practically drowning in a Christmas sweater that hung loosely on her, but clung to her rounded stomach. She had no make-up on, but her skin glowed beautifully in the subtle orange luminosity of the flashlight. Her sweater was slightly pulled up, revealing the bottom of her pale belly.

"You look really sexy eating that burger." Eli purred, pushing himself back to sit next to her.

She shot him a look of disinterest before taking another bite and mumbling. "I'm starving and cold and I haven't showered today."

"You still look beautiful."

"I'm carrying a six pound fetus. I'm huge." She snapped, choking back a sob and crumbling up her burger wrapper before falling backwards on the bed.

Eli lay back with her and rubbed his hand over her abdomen, using his elbow to prop himself up so he could see her face in the dim light. A few tears were falling from her eyes and down the sides of her face. She looked worn out, even exhausted.

"I think you look incredibly, indescribably pretty when you carry my progeny, Clare."

She smacked him on the arm playfully. "Stop calling our baby weird things like progeny and spawn. It's a baby… Plus, you're only saying that because you have to or I'll cry.

"I mean it, Clare." He grabbed her hand and put it on the bulge in his pants. "See, I'm about to burst at the sight of you." He lowered his voice and pulled her back against him, nipping at her ear teasingly. "I can hardly keep my hands off of you right now."

She panted in response to him and goose bumps ran up and down her spine. "This isn't fair, Eli…"

"Why not, Edwards? What isn't fair about a little teasing?" Eli toyed with the waistband of her sweatpants and slipped his hand underneath, ghosting the skin of her thighs before lightly caressing her center with one of his fingers. She gasped at the contact and bit her lip roughly before he pulled his hand away.

She grumbled angrily at him and climbed underneath the layer of blankets, disappearing from his sight.

"Are you hiding from me?" Eli smirked as he removed his wet clothes and pulled on a fresh pair of sweats and a large black sweater.

"Mhm." He heard under the mass of quilts and covers.

"Well," He said, lighting a candle and setting it on the bedside table, "you're going to have to come out eventually."

"Nope." She affirmed, tightening the covers around her.

"You'll get too warm, and you'll pop your head out soon." Eli teased, settling comfortably under the top two layers and unwrapping a cheeseburger. He chewed greedily on the food and felt the bed shift heavily underneath him. "Problem under there?" He asked, a smirk playing at his lips in spite of the raging blizzard, they lack of electricity and the low temperature of the apartment.

"I'm still hungry."

"Come out and I'll share." He taunted, shaking a container of fries at her like she was a ravenous puppy.

"No!" She exclaimed, pulling her blanket fortress firm against her body. "I'm mad at you for teasing me in my compromised state."

Eli cackled and practically choked on a chewed-up glob of fry. "Compromised? How so?"

Clare pulled the covers off of her face quickly and glared at him. "I'm pregnant, asshole! Or have you forgotten?"

Eli laughed at her and shook his head. "Look, I got you to come out from under the blankets." He grinned widely at the angry look on her face and passed her a box of fries.

"Sometimes I wonder why I'm with you, Elijah." Clare sneered as she jerked the box out of his hands.

"I'm sexy _and_ I'm great in bed. That's why." He gloated. He leaned over and pecked her gently on the lips.

"Eh, you're okay, I guess." She stated coldly before bursting into giggles and retreating back into her blanketed cave with her newly acquired sustenance.

"You'll pay for that, Edwards." He laughed before ducking under the covers to join her.

()()()()()()()()()()

They stood in the candlelit spare bedroom of their apartment, decked out in Bullfrog's old gym clothes and wielding paint-covered brushes. Jake was in the far-right corner of the room, expertly installing the wooden crib that Glen had so generously bought for the baby.

"Make sure it's sturdy, Jacob. If it collapses on your niece or nephew, I'll never forgive you." Clare instructed pseudo-sternly, provoking an eye-roll from her step-brother/ex-boyfriend.

"If that collapses on my kid, I swear to God that your death with be slow and painful." Eli threatened.

Jake chuckled and grabbed a nail from the pocket of his work apron, clutching a drill in his right hand and lining it up perfectly with the sharp piece of steel. "Don't worry, Clare. Unlike your scrawny boy-toy over there, I'm perfectly capable of securing a crib for the baby."

"Scrawny? I may not be a lumberjack but-"

"Stop it, boys. I'm getting _stressed_." Clare emphasized the last word and smirked evilly at Eli. She was playing her bed-rest card, and he had no choice but to oblige.

He pulled her to the side and whispered. "Please remind me again why you invited Jake to help set up the crib?"

"He's family. And he took care of me when I needed it. I'm not going to shun him just because he screwed up in the past. If I did that with everybody, where would you be right now?" She shot back in a quiet voice.

Eli sighed painfully and went back to stirring his paint can without another word. She was right, and he knew it. There was no sense in fighting about it.

There was a loud knock on the front door and Eli smirked, knowing that his surprise helpers had arrived. "I'll get it!" He sang, dropping his stirrer and pulling the flashlight out from his pocket. He maneuvered his way to the door and wiped his hands on his pants before turning the knob excitedly.

"Eli!" Both of the woman exclaimed. They pulled him into a firm hug and Eli reciprocated. The unwavering smiles on Imogen and Fiona's faces brought him back to high school, back to a strange, but productive time in his life.

"I'm glad you could make it." Eli told them sincerely. "We've been out of power for the past 4 days, but someone is coming out to fix it by tomorrow. Will you be able to work if it's semi-dark?"

Imogen smiled at him. "You know semi-darkness is my forte, Eli."

They laughed and Eli led them into the "nursery" by flashlight.

"Clare," Eli sang out, "I've got a surprise for you."

He gently pushed Fiona and Imogen into the nursery and smirked at the awkwardness that was about to ensue. Imogen and Clare were never exactly friends, but they'd learned to live with each other when Eli had announced to his two best friends that he was getting back with his ex-girlfriend. Plus, when Clare learned that Imogen was bi-sexual and in a happy relationship with Fiona, her jealousy and suspicions about the other girl greatly diminished.

Clare greeted the two girls with warm smiles and quick, professional hugs and they reciprocated in a statuesque manner.

"Look at that bump!" Fiona exclaimed, gripping onto either side of Clare's belly and placing an ear to the front. "If I listen closely, I bet I can hea- It kicked me!"

Clare chuckled and Fiona jumped away in alarm.

"That's my kid…" Eli remarked affectionately before pulling a piece of paper from his pocket ostentatiously and slipping it to Imogen. "Here is your job, Imo. Make me proud."

She unfolded it slightly and peeked at the contents, practically squealing in excitement before pulling a piece from her own pocket and handing it to Eli. "And yours, good sir."

Eli studied his page and nodded his head in approval before tucking it away in his pocket. "Naptime for the mother." Eli grabbed Clare by the shoulders and gently pushed her toward the door.

"Wait, I want to-"

"Nope, bed-rest rules apply today like every other day."

"But-"

"Let's go, Clare." Eli swung his hands underneath her knees and picked her up, carrying her bridal style to their bedroom.

"Put me down now!" She kicked, mustering up the small amount of strength she had to attempt an escape. She wiggled desperately from his captivity but found herself comfortably in her bed, receiving a cocky grin from her lover.

"You have to stay in here until your surprise is ready. If you don't, I'll eat the baby."

Clare glanced up at him in horror and he wiggled his brows at her, challenging her to break his commands.

"That's not funny, Eli."

"I agree. I don't want to eat the baby. You'd better listen."

With that, he left her alone in their shadowy bedroom to contemplate her surprise.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Clare, you have to keep the blindfold on. Stop fidgeting." Eli instructed, gently leading her into the still-dark nursery where her surprise awaited. She ignored the occasional stab of pain in her lower back and obliged, tip-toeing cautiously where Eli led her. She heard a few whispers and felt Eli loosening the knots on the back of her blindfold. It fell to the ground and she saw Fiona and Imogen on either side of the room. In between them, a mural was painted on the wall. Clare studied it in awe, waddling up close and yanking the flashlight from Eli to get a better look. It was a nature scene, a green forest filled with various little animals perched behind rocks and trees. She smiled at the detail and color, completely blown away by the talent that it took to paint such a masterpiece.

"That was all Imo. I came up with the idea, but she painted the entire thing." Eli stated, patting Imogen on the back affectionately as Clare pulled the smaller girl into a hug.

"Thank you. It's really beautiful." Clare whispered.

"It was my pleasure, Clare." Imogen beamed proudly at her accomplishments.

"But wait… There is one more surprise. I-I really hope you like it, Clare." Eli turned her around toward the wall next to the door. It was covered in writing that delicately flowed, in black, line by line, down to the floor. Behind the words was an ocean scene, with a dolphin jumping gracefully in the air. "It's something that you can read every time you sit in the rocking chair with the baby. Imogen came up with the idea for the background."

Clare tilted the flashlight up to the first line and began to read the words on the wall aloud.

_I treasure you more than air, than life, than anything,_

_You're the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me,_

_No matter where we go from here, know that I'm beside you,_

_And that you continually captivate my heart,_

_You are the more beautiful and unique woman that I've ever met,_

_And I'm so lucky that you are my girl, and the mother of my child,_

_I would die before I'd let anything hurt you,_

_I would die before I'd let anything hurt our family,_

_My life is perfect, and it's all because of you,_

_As you sit in your chair and read these words,_

_Know that, wherever I am right now,_

_I am counting the minutes until I am with you again,_

_I love you, Clare._

Clare swallowed back the emotion in her voice and lowered the flashlight from the wall. Continuing to ignore the growing pain in her abdomen, lower back and lower body, she smiled up at the man next to her and noticed his watery eyes.

"I love you too, Eli."

She pulled him into a tight hug and clenched her jaw as another pain shot through her back. She noticed that Imogen and Fiona had excused themselves and Jake hadn't been present through the unveiling of the murals. As much as she hated to ruin their special moment, she knew that it couldn't wait any longer.

"Hey, Eli?"

"Yeah?" He pulled away from the hug and smirked down at her. She avoided eye contact with his and tried to assuage her racing heartbeat.

"Don't quote me on this, and don't freak out, but…" She breathed deeply and held onto him, "I think I might be going into labor."

She looked up and watched the color drain completely in his face,

She was in for an exciting night.

_**THERE IS A BABY ON THE WAY! **_

_**YAY!**_

_**Review please?**_

_**Thanks!**_

_**Vann**_


	16. Stop! Baby Time!

_**Chapter 16. Leggo.**_

_**Vann**_

_**P.S Thank you all for the reviews. Lurve you.**_

Eli felt his heart thud nervously in his chest. His chest felt tight and his knees weakened slightly at her words. "Now's not the time for joking, Clare." He peered into her eyes, searching for any indication that she was trying to pull a fast one. The quaking of her hands and tension in her face told another story. "Are you sure? Are you absolutely positive?"

"I-I-I don't know." Another pain shot through her and she winced, falling forward slightly into his arms. He held her shakily, leading her to the front door of their apartment. "I'm scared, Eli. I'm not ready." She breathed, holding back the hysterics that her mind so desperately wanted her to express.

"Oh god, oh god." He chanted frantically. He rushed into the nursery and shoved several outfits and diapers into a yellow baby bag and tugged anxiously at his hair. He wasn't ready to be a dad. It was too soon. They weren't ready. The nursery still smelled like paint. They had no electricity! How could they take care of a baby with no lights, no heat, by candlelight?

The candles! Shit.

Eli rushed to each room, blowing out the many candles that illuminated their home before rushing back over to Clare, who sat on the couch, a thin layer of sweat coating her panic-stricken face.

"Oh god, oh god." Eli grabbed one of his anti-anxiety pills from the kitchen cupboard and swallowed it dry, praying to God it kicked in before Clare gave birth and he fainted on the delivery room floor. "What should I do?" He whined, plopping down on the couch next to her.

"Uh, the hospital would probably be a good start." Clare sat on the very edge of the couch cushions, the worry in her causing more discomfort than the contractions themselves.

"Huh…? Yeah! Okay, l-let's go!" Eli jumped up and tripped over his own feet, nearly falling to the ground in his clumsy panic. He steadied himself and put an arm on Clare's side as he pulled her off of the couch and into his arms.

"Eli, please calm down?" Clare leaned lovingly into him, the intense shuddering of hands causing her even more stress. "I'm supposed to be the one freaking out."

"Right… Right… I'm calm… I'm just fine." He chanted as they walked through the corridor of the apartment and outside. The sidewalks were slick and just the thought of Clare walking on them was causing Eli some intense nausea. "Don't fall. Don't fall!" He gripped her arm tightly as he practically carried her to the car. After she was situated comfortably and reclined, he tossed the bag of supplies into the back of the car and started to drive toward the hospital. Traffic was minimal due to the poor road conditions, but that was the last thing on Eli's mind.

It was the final countdown.

The time had come.

Time to be a father.

He gripped the wheel tighter and looked over at Clare. Her eyes were closed tightly and she looked deep in concentration. "How do you feel? Are you okay? I love you. You know that, right? I want you to know that I_ love you._"

"I'm fine, Eli. Just uncomfortable." Clare grabbed his hand and gave it a loving squeeze. "I hope your pill kicks in soon. You're starting to bug me." She smiled at him and reclined her seat more, still holding on tightly to his shaking hand. "Are you okay to drive?"

Eli nodded insistently and tried to focus on the road to no avail. All he could think about was the fact that he was going to be a father in just a short amount of time. The hospital came into view and he let out a sigh of relief. He needed trained professionals to tell him that everything was okay, and he'd feel a bit more at ease. He pulled up to the front and got out, running over to Clare's door and opening it before easing her out of the seat. He threw his keys to the hospital valet after grabbing the baby bag. As soon as they walked through the doors of the E.R, they were greeted with curious glances from the dozens of other people in the waiting room. Every seat in the place was filled with people sporting injuries and ailments of all kinds.

"Excuse me," Eli said, semi-loudly, to the room. "Can anyone spare a seat?"

Everybody avoided eye contact with him and nobody made a move to get up.

"My girlfriend is in labour." Eli elabourated, his voice getting more tense by the second. "She _really_ needs to sit."

Nobody moved. Another pain shot through Clare and she doubled over, a shriek escaping her lips.

"Please!" Eli yelled, expecting that one person in the room would be man enough to sacrifice their seat for a pregnant woman. A teenaged boy jumped up from his seat and motioned toward it for Clare. He was wearing a green shirt with a giant marijuana leaf on it, a pair of jeans that hung incredibly lower off of his rear, and his hair was longer than Eli and Clare's combined. His right wrist was noticeably broken, a piece of bone sticking up out of the top.

And, his eyes were glazed over worse than a veteran stoner on 4/20.

Clare gladly plopped down in the chair and smiled prettily at the boy. "Thank you so much."

Eli shook the boy's left hand and smiled. "Thanks. We appreciate it."

"It's all good, dude. Congrats on the kid." He grinned goofily before taking a seat on the ground a few feet away.

"It's nice to see that _some_ people still have class." Eli said loudly as he walked over to check Clare in, glaring at a few of the people who had less-than-critical injuries and refused to sacrifice their seats. Eli made a mental note to find the boy later and give him something for his kindness.

()()()()()()()()()()

After being told by a nurse that Clare would be seen by a doctor sometime in the next three hours, Eli explaining that Clare had gone into pre-term labour and was on bed-rest for 3 months, and the two of them having a heated argument before Eli pulled the "I'm bipolar, this stress isn't good for my condition," card, Clare was finally admitted into a room. She lay in the hospital bed, dressed in a gown and chewing nervously on her fingernails as held her close to his chest. A nurse had come and asked her dozens of questions about the pain she was experiencing, and promised that a doctor would be in shortly.

While they waited, Eli held Clare and dialed 'home.'

"Fred's pizza, where we make your pizza right! Can I interest you in our pineapple pie special? Or maybe a side of seasoned breadsticks for only $5.99?"

"Bullfrog, this isn't the time for jokes."

"Dammit Eli, you're always raining on my parade."

"I know, I'm such a killjoy. I was just calling to tell you that your grandkid will probably be making an appearance soon. No big deal, though. You just keep being a jackass and I'll call you when it's all over." Eli droned sarcastically.

"Clare's in labour?" Bullfrog asked, his voice dripping with excitement. "CeCe, it's time to put your grandma pants on, our kid's about to be a father!"

Eli heard a scream in the background and couldn't help but smile at his mother's reaction.

_Our kids about to be a father._

The phrase took his breath away.

After months of planning, slaving at both of his jobs to save money, rubbing swollen ankles and watching Clare's stomach balloon, Eli thought that he'd be prepared for the day that he finally got to meet his first-born child.

Nope, he felt completely ill-equipped.

He planted a sweet kiss on Clare's forehead and rested on hand on her stomach. "We're about to be parents," he choked out, the words tasting foreign in his mouth. "How do you feel?"

"I think you asked me that same question on the day we found out about…" She motioned to her stomach, "_this_ little surprise. I think the answer is the same."

"Scared?" Eli asked, his voice serious and low.

Clare looked at him shyly before muttering, "Terrified."

"Me too, but I still have to be strong for you." Eli intertwined their fingers and moved one of her messy curls behind her ear.

"Forever?"

"Forever and ever. Until we are old and grey and covered in wrinkles."

"And after that?"

"I'll still be strong. I'm a Goldsworthy." Eli smirked cockily as the doctor finally made an appearance.

"Hello, Ms. Edwards. How are we feeling today?" He asked, eyeing her chart before taking his place at the edge of the bed.

"Uncomfortable." She replied, looking away from his gaze and down at her lap.

"Mildly or severly?" He asked, jotting something down on the chart in his hand.

"It depends, really. Not _too _severe, though."

"Well, let's take a look." He placed Clare's feet in the stirrups before pulling on some gloves and beginning the pelvic exam. It bothered Eli that another man was so close to the parts of Clare that had only ever been his, but she always assured him that it was for the baby, and he would need to deal with it.

Clare gripped onto Eli tightly as she clenched her eyes shut. She hated these exams. They felt intrusive and unnerving and she would be content if she never had to get another one again.

Wishful thinking.

"Well, it doesn't appear that you are in labour." He paused as he heard gasps from the couple. "Given the mildness and irregularity of your pains, and the fact that you are only half a centimeter dilated, I'd say that you are probably experiencing some Braxton Hicks contractions. It could be a few more days or even weeks until your little one decides to make an appearance."

Eli looked at the man blankly and shook his head. "So you're telling me that we went through all of this for nothing?"

The doctor smiled and let out a small chuckle. "At least you got a bit of practice for the real thing."

Clare groaned and buried her head in her hands. "I feel so stupid."

"It's quite common for first time mothers to mistake false contractions for the real thing. I've obviously never given birth, but my wife would tell you that there is a big difference between what you are feeling now, and what you'll feel when you are in true labour. Just be patient and expect more of these false contractions. Think of it as your body prepping for the big day." He smiled at them both as he stripped his gloves off and threw them into a nearby trashcan. "Go ahead and get redressed and we'll get you checked out of here. Keep with your bed-rest routine and you and the baby should be fine."

As soon as the doctor left the room, two people came bursting through the door. Bullfrog held a bouquet of flowers in his hand and CeCe held clutched a camera in her hands. They looked flushed and out-of-breath, like they'd just run a marathon.

"How's- our- girl?" Bullfrog panted, smiling tiredly at Clare.

"Not having a baby today, apparently." She said embarrassedly. Eli rubbed circles on her back and half-smiled up at his parents. "False contractions."

"Oh." Bullfrog said awkwardly before handing Clare the flowers in his hand. "Well, here are some false contraction flowers."

Clare smiled up at him and giggled. "Thank you."

"It's okay, baby girl. When I was pregnant with Eli-"

"CeCe, enough with the gross stories about my birth! Seriously! I already know too many details about the irreparable damage that I caused to your uterus. Enough is enough!" Eli huffed, already flustered by the fact that he'd spent hours panicking for _nothing, _and not in the mood for any awkward pregnancy tales from his mother.

CeCe looked taking a back and feigned offended. "I was just going to tell Clare that, right before you were born, Bullfrog and I were doing the deed and-"

"Oh god." Eli covered his ears miserably. "Stop, stop, stop."

"Fine, just for you baby." CeCe walked over a kissed her son's head before planting one on Clare's. "Are you okay, honey?"

Clare shrugged slightly and continued to look down at her lap. "I just want to hold my baby."

Eli pulled her into a hug, knowing that she had been through way too much for one day and that her nerves were beyond frayed. His parents joined in.

"Clarabelle sandwich." Bullfrog announced as they had a group embrace. CeCe and Eli burst out into laughter and Clare finally cracked a smile.

As they broke apart, Eli looked into Clare's eyes and smirked reassuringly. "Our time will come soon enough. We just have to be patient."

"I know. It's just hard to be patient when I'm huge and hormonal."

Bullfrog patted his belly heartily. "I know where you're coming from."

Another fit of laughs broke out and Clare relished in the feelings of love and happiness that surrounded her in the hospital room.

She couldn't wait until that feeling of happiness was for a different reason; for the birth of her son or daughter.

_**A/N**_

_**I know you're probably pissed off that I teased you with baby time. Heehee…**_

_**Soon, my children.**_

_**I included this chapter for a few reasons.**_

_**Reason one: It really is common for woman to think that Braxton hicks are true labour. **_

_**Reason two: I wanted Eli and Clare to be more prepared because (semi-spoiler) they won't be able to panic when the baby actually comes.**_

_**I've got it all planned out.**_

_**Anyways, I got a lot less reviews for the last chapter, and that kind of bummed me out. But thank you so much to everyone who DID review! They were all the more special because there were less of them.**_

_**I'd super appreciate even more this chapter. I'll be greedy and say that 20 would be awesome, although I know I'm lucky if I can even get 10. **_

_**A girl can dream though, right?**_

_**Review whores need love too.**_

_**Love you, sexy beasts.**_

_**Thanks for reading **_

_**Vann**_


	17. Nothing Matters

_**So we may or may not get to meet the baby in this chapter!**_

_**Warnings: If the birth scene is in this, it WILL be graphic. Viewer discretion is ADVISED.**_

_**Shoutout to Eclarexoxo, The Cliffhanger Girl, ilovetaylorswift13, degrassistar, danagirl3496, Degrassiluver15, Crissychan350, The Joker's Ears and Eyes, kittycatvamp and Joey for the awesome reviews. You guys rock and I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**_

_**Vann**_

_**P.S I'm from the USA, so I speak in MPH, not KPH, and I'm too tired to convert them in the story. Please go along with it. Lol Also, 9-1-1. I don't know what it is in Canada. Sorry again.**_

_Christmas Eve_

_Week 38_

"Are you absolutely sure about this? You could pop at any moment, Clare. Do you really want to go to this stupid party?" Eli questioned as he stood in front of their bedroom mirror, adjusting his tie and picking pieces of lint off of his suit jacket.

"I only get to see my mom's side of the family once a year. They're all so excited about the baby and they have a ton of stuff to give us… I've already made up my mind. The doctor said I'm still only a half a centimeter dilated as of yesterday. I'll be fine. He even _said_ I could go to the party, as long as I sit down a lot and get to sleep at a reasonable time. We're going to this party. End of discussion." Clare jabbed an earring through her lobe and applied a thin layer of cherry lip gloss. She sat on their bed in her strapless bra and underwear, inspecting the stretch marks that adorned her once-porcelain skin. She rubbed them roughly, willing them away with her touch.

"Clare, they're beautiful." Eli swooped down and planted a kiss on the purple marks.

"They're disgusting." She spat back at him.

Eli blew raspberries on the marks and felt a kick from the baby. "These marks mean my kid is growing, so _I_ like them." He said snottily.

"These marks mean _my_ body is forever stretchy. And it's _your_ fault." Clare tried pulling her dress on, but couldn't lean over far enough to bring it up. She sighed in frustration and threw the garment at Eli's head. "Help me get the dress on… I'm too _fat_ to do it myself."

Eli rolled his eyes and grabbed the red material of the maternity dress, letting her bitchiness go without a fight. She had gained 10 pounds in two weeks and Eli knew that she was distressed about it. "You know you aren't fat. You just have… more to love. In fact, I love your body like this. Especially…" He reached up and gave her breasts a gently squeeze and smirked devilishly.

Clare punched his arm and scoffed. He rubbed it dramatically, feigning pain, before sliding the dress up her nylon-covered legs. Luckily, the material was incredibly stretchy and didn't get stuck on her full-sized baby belly. Eli pulled it up to her shoulders and sighed at the sight in front of him. She looked stunning to him, even at full-term. Her skin had a healthy glow, her hair had grown out just below her shoulders, and her make-up was subtle, but pretty. Her dress stopped right at her knees and the silky red material flowed smoothly down her belly, showing off all of her curves perfectly. It had short sleeves and a slight amount cleavage was showing at the V-neck.

Eli noticed the cleavage more than anything else, of course.

"Pretty girl." He said sweetly as he planted a kiss on her forehead. He pulled her up from the bed and escorted her to the front door. Eli held back a chuckle at Clare's intense waddling.

"Do you have the presents?"

"They're already in the car."

"The cheesecake?"

"Also in the car." Eli assured her as he guided her to his vehicle and situated her in the front seat. She grunted as she plopped down into the passenger's seat and Eli couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"God, why can't you be the pregnant one? Then _I_ could laugh while _you_ bloat."

Eli laughed harder and ignored the angered look at Clare's face.

"This is the first of many pregnancies for you, Edwards. You'd better get used to it." Eli threatened as he slid into the driver's seat.

Clare shot him an incredulous look and shook her head. "Uh, no. No, no, no. One is enough."

"I want at least three. At. Least."

Eli pulled out onto the road and glanced over at his girlfriend. She stared at him with a look of both annoyance and fascination.

"You want three kids?" Clare asked lowly.

"Or more… I figured we would get married before we have the rest. But yes, I would like at least little Goldsworthy-Edward's babies." He smirked at her and she grinned wildly back.

"I'm sure I could be convinced…" Clare bit her lip and fought back the ridiculous smile that invaded her face as she thought about his statement.

_Married first… Goldsworthy-Edward's babies…_

It was those moments, the moments where Eli spoke openly about their future marriage and future children that made Clare forget about the dark times. She could forget about the way that he'd treated her when he was off of his meds, and relish in the wonderful person that he was when he was taking care of himself. The stretch marks, the moodiness, the stress and the pain were worth it when she could look at the man next to her, and see her future in the palm of his hand.

()()()()()()()()

After two hours in the car with four pee-breaks for Clare, they finally arrived at Clare's Aunt Marie's house. The sun was already setting in the distance and the driveway was packed with cars. They were "fashionably late," as Eli liked to call it. He blamed Clare's weak bladder, and she blamed his overly-cautious driving.

As Eli searched for a place to park in the crowded yard, he spotted a sign in the only empty space.

_Clare and Eli (and baby)_

He grinned at the consideration of the hostess and pulled into the spot, which was conveniently right near the door.

"Gotta love Aunt Marie." He smiled as he grabbed the presents, cheesecake and the very pregnant girl from the passenger's seat.

The second they opened the door, they were greeted by an abundance of entirely _too _excited elderly women.

"_Clare! Oh, honey, you're so big!"_

"_Awe, our little Clare is so grown up!"_

"_Premarital sex will do that, you know."_

"_Our little Clare is going to be a mommy!"_

"_You look like you're about to pop!"_

"_Oh, your ankles must be so swollen!"_

"_Is this the daddy? How… cute?"_

Clare and Eli finally made their way through the crowds of women after twenty minutes of mundane small talk about contractions and birth and other things that Clare didn't feel like discussing with distant relatives. She plopped down on a couch next to Jake and sighed tiredly.

"How's it going, fatty?" Jake remarked playfully.

"Shut it, fucker." Clare seethed back at him.

He looked at her wide-eyed and grinned. "Holy crap, Clare, I didn't think that word was in your vocabulary."

"Holy crap, Jake, I didn't think the word "vocabulary" was in your vocabulary." Clare mocked.

"Touche." He smiled down at her and motioned to her belly. "So, when do I get to meet my little niece of nephew?"

"Whenever she or he decides to make an appearance. According to my doctor, it'll probably be a few more weeks."

"That sucks. You'll probably be really, _really _fat by the time that happens."

Clare opened her mouth to react but Eli beat her to it.

"Not as fat as you, LumberJake."

Jake looked down at his slightly-bulging stomach and sighed, "It's the holidays, man. Don't judge."

Eli smirked and Jake held out his fist to bump. Eli looked at it like it was a foreign object and held back a scoff. Clare elbowed him and shot him a look before Eli pounded his fist into the other boys.

"Good boy." Clare patted Eli on the head and the green-eyed boy glared at her.

"Clare?" Helen called from across the room and ran over to her daughter with a huge smile on her face.

"Here we go." Jake whispered as he moved out of the way for his step-mother.

Clare hadn't seen her mom in almost a month and was just _waiting_ for some kind of remark on how big she'd gotten.

"You're huge!" Helen exclaimed as she leaned down to pull her daughter into a hug.

"Thanks for noticing, mom." Clare murmured into her ear while reciprocating the embrace.

Glen walked up beside Helen and smiled at his step-daughter. "That baby is going to be huge!"

Clare rolled her eyes and swallowed away the self-conscious feeling that was rising up in her. The truth was, she was swollen, bloated and round, and _everybody_ felt the need to comment on it.

"You're beautiful, Clare." Eli whispered reassuringly in her ear, causing a blush to rise to her cheeks.

"You always know what to say." She whispered back, placing a small peck on his cheek.

"Your grandpa is looking for you." Helen said lowly, her tone full of warning, as Clare groaned at the mention of her mother's father. "He _really_ wants to meet Eli."

"Should I be afraid?" Eli asked jokingly.

Clare, Helen, Glen and Jake all looked at him seriously.

"Yes, you should." Helen murmured.

In that moment, like his ears were ringing from the mere mention of his presence, Clare's grandpa Lewis marched over to them. His expression was stern and he stood tall, glaring daggers at Eli before glancing at his granddaughter with a broad smile on his face.

"Clare! It's been so long! Come give your old grandpa a hug!"

She rose up from the couch and let him wrap his arms around her torso.

"I just _can't_ believe my little granddaughter is going to be a mother! When Helen called me, I about had a heart attack. I wanted to drive up there and beat the snot out of you, but that wouldn't be good for the baby, huh?" He let off a slight chuckle and made deadly eye contact with Eli. He broke from the hug and stood in front of the younger man. "You must be Elijah."

Eli nodded and rose up, sticking his hand out confidently to shake the older man's. Lewis gripped onto Eli's hand and shook it roughly, trying to provoke a pained reaction from his newly-acquainted nemesis. Eli fought back a grimace and reciprocated the gesture.

"Since Randall is too much of a flake to kick your ass, the job falls on me." Lewis said lowly. "You got my granddaughter pregnant, and when I found out, I had every intention of introducing you to my shotgun. That being said, you'd better treat her right or I _will_ find you, mark my words." Lewis leaned over a said only loud enough for Eli to hear, "She's the best thing you'll ever have, and you'd be an idiot to ever let her go… Don't you _dare _even think about abandoning her and my grandkid. If you're man enough to get her pregnant, you'd better be man enough to be a father. Don't screw up." Lewis stepped back and evaluated Eli quickly. "Oh, and I'd better see a ring on her finger before you go making any more kids. My Clare deserves better than that."

Eli nodded seriously at the older man. "She deserves the world, sir."

"That's what I like to hear." Lewis stuck his hand out again and shook Eli's, softer this time around. "It was nice meeting you, Elijah."

"You too, sir."

As Lewis walked away from the group, Eli plopped down on the couch and let out the breath he'd been holding in. "You were right, Helen. I should have been afraid."

()()()()()()()()()()

By 11pm, dinner and desserts were long since finished, presents were opened and wrapping papers littered the floors. Half of the guests had gone home and Clare napped peacefully on a couch while Jake and Eli played a heated game of rummy.

"Rummy, baby! How does it feel to lose to a _lumberjack?"_ Jake taunted as he set down the last of his cards.

"Like a slap to the IQ." Eli muttered before throwing his remaining cards down and furrowing his brow. "Rummy is stupid."

"You're stupid." Jake mocked, tossing the deck back into its box and leaning back in his chair tiredly. "So, are we cool_?_ I know that I was kind of an ass when I got back from school… I'm sorry for that. I was just being selfish when I tried to drive a wedge between the two of you. You make Clare happy, and that's what's important now."

Eli shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. "Yeah, that was pretty stupid. But, you took care of her when I couldn't, and I appreciate that. We're cool." Eli stuck his fist out and Jake bumped it with a grin on his face. "Plus, someone is going to have to teach my kid how to build furniture."

"I think I can handle that." Jake laughed and Eli joined in. He liked the newly-formed friendship between him and Jake. It was sarcastic and rude, but comfortable. It was best for Clare and the baby, and that was the most important thing to Eli.

Clare let out a dry laugh and both of the boys looked over at her, surprised that she'd awoken from her deep slumber. She rubbed her eyes tiredly and sighed. "Look at you two, getting along for once… Must be a Christmas miracle."

"We were just conspiring on ways to undermine your parenting. Baby corruption and such." Jake threatened, raising his brow deviously at his step-sister.

"Oh, really?" Clare asked playfully, looking at Eli for verification. "And how do you plan on corrupting our child?"

"Rock music and drugs." Eli smirked, expecting a punch in the arm from his hormonal girlfriend. Instead, he was met with a kiss on the cheek.

"Introduce either of those things to my baby, and you'll be sleeping on the floor with an ice pack between your legs." Clare threatened with a smile on her face.

"You're scary when you make happy threats." Eli badgered her.

"You should see how scary I am when my motherly instincts kick in." Clare patted her belly gently and let out a big yawn. "When are you taking me home? I need sleep, you know? It's not easy being huge."

Eli scoffed and rose from his chair, stretching greedily before pulling her up. "You took a three hour nap."

"She's sleeping for two, Eli." Jake lectured.

"And I'm on bedrest! And, it's my due date!" Clare declared snootily as she waddled her way to the coat rack. "Take me home now, good sir."

"Your chariot awaits, mi lady." Eli opened the door and motioned for her to exit. "Merry Christmas Jake, Helen, Glen. Thank you for the evening, Marie. It was a great party."

"Bye everybody! See you tomorrow!" Clare bellowed from outside, eager to get in the car and recline her seat back as far as it would go.

As Eli started up the engine and glanced at the clock, it turned from 11:59 to 12.

"It's Christmas now!" Clare yelled excitedly. "We're supposed to have a baby today!" She gulped at the thought and felt a bit nauseous. "Oh my gosh, Eli, we're supposed to have a baby today…"

"Don't get yourself all nervous. The doctor said it'll be _at least_ another week." Eli assured her, rubbing her thigh gently as he drove down the highway. "Just relax and fall asleep. I'll wake you up when we get home."

She closed her heavy eyelids and let his subtle touch lull her off into rest.

Eli drove for twenty minutes before realizing that they were almost out of fuel. An open gas station caught his eye and he pulled in, careful not to awaken Clare as he exited the car and moseyed in to prepay and get a cup of coffee for the ride. As he stirred the sugar in, he dialed their bank's number to check the balance, wanting to keep track of his spending in case the funds were low.

"_Your available checking account balance is four-hundred and eighty-five dollars. Your overdraft account balance is six-thousand, seven-hundred and forty-two dollars."_

As Eli heard the latter number, he nearly spit out the coffee in his mouth.

His mind raced as he tried to figure out how five-thousand extra dollars had ended up in their savings account.

Only one answer came to his mind: Clare was hiding the money, and was going to leave him.

Fury coursed through him as he paid for his gas and coffee and stormed out of the station. He forced himself to calm down long enough to pump his fuel, before climbing back into the car and slamming his door, not caring if he woke Clare up or not.

She stirred from her sleep and Eli sped out of the parking lot and back onto the highway. She jolted up at the sudden movement and looked at her boyfriend in fear. "What's wrong? What's going on?"

Snow was falling more rapidly by the second and Eli was pushing 70 miles an hour. Fear overtook Clare and she gripped onto the sides of her seat. "Eli, please slow down! I'm scared!"

"You're leaving me." He said coldly, pushing down harder on the accelerator. The snow was basically covering the windshield, and the headlights were making no difference in the sightline. "I can't believe you would do this to me."

"What are you talking about? I would never leave you! Please, slow down!"

"I called our bank, Clare," He spat her name out like it left a terrible taste in his mouth. "You've got five-thousand dollars sitting in the savings. I'm not stupid. You're taking my kid and you're leaving me!"

"No, you've got it all wrong! Your grandfather gave me that money!" Clare yelled before she could stop herself. She'd promised his grandfather that she wouldn't mention it, but she needed Eli to slow down before they crashed. "He-He told me not to tell you."

Eli let up on the accelerator and let the car coast back down to 35. He was dangerously quiet and Clare swallowed back the fear that was inching through her.

"You're not leaving?" He said in a small voice, his fury replaced with relief and desperation.

"I'm never leaving you." Clare grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

Eli sighed and looked over at her regretfully. "I'm sorry for freaking out. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

He stared at her lovingly, for just a moment.

When he glanced back at the road, he barely saw the car careening toward them, its headlights blinding him, before the crash. The sound of metal-on-metal clanging together was the last thing he heard before the darkness stole him away.

**Ooo, cliffhanger…**

**Just kidding! Scroll down for more!**

()()()()()()()()()()()()

As Eli awoke, he heard a familiar sound.

Screaming.

Someone was screaming… his name?

Maybe not…

Yes, it _was _his name.

But who was screaming, he wondered.

He opened his eyes and blinked a few times before the realizations struck him like a ton of bricks.

_Clare._

He tried to form words, but none would come out. It was as if he was cemented in place, panic claiming his body and mind.

"Eli! Please!" He heard a whine. It was Clare, he knew it was her.

"Baby?" He cried, breaking out of his panic-stricken state. He felt something dribble down his face, but it was the least of his worries at that moment. The car was smashed in on his side, but luckily he wasn't pinned. He turned toward his girlfriend in haste, terrified of what he would find.

She was leaned over, clutching her stomach painfully and crying.

_The baby._

"Are you okay? Clare, answer me!"

"My water broke. I-I-I'm having the baby. Oh God." She screeched as a contraction hit her hard and she doubled over further, tears flowing down her cheeks steadily. She wiggled the door handle to get out of the car, but it wouldn't budge. "We're trapped. Eli, we're trapped. What- Oh God! Shit!" She screamed in pain and bit down on her lip, drawing up blood, but too miserable to notice at the time.

Eli grabbed his phone and dialed 9-1-1 as fast as he possibly could. He reached out to hold Clare's hand and she squeezed it forcefully as another wave of agony passed through her body.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

"My girlfriend is in labour! We-we were in an accident and we're trapped in our car. I-I don't know what to do. Her water broke and-and-and she's in pain. P-Please send help."

Eli had never sounded so weak and defenseless in his life, but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered to him was Clare and his child. And they were in danger. Nothing else in the world mattered. Not his totaled car, or the idiot who hit them, or the money that she hid from him.

His family was in danger, and it was time to be a man and protect them.

The words of Clare's grandfather rang in his head.

_Be a man._

_Be a man._

"We've tracked your phone and we've got emergency vehicles on the way. Can you tell me your name?"

"It's Eli. W-What should I do?" He cried openly into the phone, trying to soothe Clare but failing as she screamed and wailed and felt like her body was being ripped from the inside out.

"How frequent are her pains?"

"Very frequent. How long until they get here?" He asked fearfully.

"Listen to me, Eli. I need you to calm down and focus on your girlfriend. They will be there soon." The operator instructed. "I need you to remove her pants and check to see if you can see the head, okay?"

Eli's eyes widened and he nodded, his words getting stuck once again in his throat. He managed out a strangled "okay" before scooting closer to Clare and placing a shaky hand on her sweaty neck. "I-I have to check you, okay? J-Just turn a little bit s-so I can check the baby, p-please?" He kissed her forehead shakily and she slowly scooted so that her back was against the door. She was panting loudly and crying, her eyes clenched so tightly closed that she was seeing stars. Eli lifted her dress up and pulled her nylons down.

He would never forget what he saw.

It was the most amazing, terrifying thing he'd ever seen in his life.

His child's head.

"Fuck. Fuck! I see the head. What do I do? I can't do this." He sobbed into the phone, Clare's screams gaining volume and intensity with every passing moment.

"Eli, I can't do this." She screamed, the worst pressure she'd ever felt in her life was suddenly on her whole lower body. "I have to push!"

"No, no! Don't push!"

"Eli," The operator said calmly, "I need you to find something to catch the baby with, okay? Can you do that?"

"C-Catch the baby? Can't she hold it in until the ambulance comes?" Eli felt like his entire Christmas dinner was making its way back up his throat.

"Sir, get something to catch the baby with and position it in your hands so that you can catch the baby when it is fully out."

_Be. _

_A._

_Man._

He took a deep breath and pulled his shirt off, lowering it to where he saw the baby's head.

"O-okay, I have something." His heart thumped unbearably in his chest, threatening to pop out at any moment.

"Eli!" Clare screamed, pushing with all of her might as the pain surged through her, making her dizzy and hot and horrified.

After Clare's big push, the baby's head was out. Eli stared at it like it was a foreign object, like it would bite him if he got to close.

"The head… out." He could barely speak.

"You'll need to catch the baby firmly, Eli. Don't hold it too tightly, but make sure that you don't drop it."

Close sirens mixed with screams as Clare pushed again.

Shoulders, out.

Eli couldn't breathe.

Emergency workers surrounded the car, trying to open Eli's door with tools and the jaws of life.

Another blood-curdling scream from Clare.

A push.

Suddenly, Eli felt his arms weighed down. The screams stopped.

He stared down at the baby in his arms, fully out, coated in fluids and substances.

A shrill cry sounded throughout the car.

Everything happened so fast.

It was all blurred together.

"You did it." He heard the operator say. He dropped his phone and an emergency worker handed him a clamp and a pair of scissors through the broken window.

"Clare." He looked up at his girlfriend, who was coated in sweat and blood, panting desperately, tears rolling down her cheeks, and a weak smile on her face. "A boy."

People were clapping.

It sounded muffled.

A baby boy was wrapped up in his black shirt, wailing loudly, alerting the world of his recent arrival.

He could barely hear the man tell him to clamp and cut the umbilical cord. He held the baby in his arms, completely unable to comprehend what was happening as he cut the tough cord.

Eli felt his eyes exploding with tears.

The world was a blur of colors and words and cries as his door was pulled off, the baby pulled from his arms and the swirling colors of the ambulance that he was climbing into.

He looked down at his bare torso. Drops of blood were coating his skin, dripping from his head.

It didn't matter.

He held Clare's hand as she cried and smiled and held their son all the way to the hospital, as the ambulance workers checked them both and made sure everything was alright.

Miraculously, it was.

To Eli, It didn't matter that the car was totaled.

It didn't matter that he was scared.

He'd delivered his own son.

He was a man.

Nothing in the world mattered but that little boy and the sweaty, exhausted curly haired girl who held him proudly.

"Merry Christmas, Eli." Clare said tiredly. "Merry Christmas, baby Eli." She cooed at the tiny, black haired baby in her arms.

"B-baby Eli?" He stuttered, struggling to speak from the shock and trauma that his body had endured in just a short time.

"His daddy delivered him. That's reason enough to take his name."

Eli couldn't speak. Words were just lost on him. He nodded, staring at his family in awe.

They finally pulled into the hospital and Clare handed him the baby, who was now bundled in a blanket.

He stared down at the small child. His namesake was crying in his arms.

It was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

**PEANUT BUTTER BABY TIME!**

**Reviews would be lovely. **

***smiley face***

**Vann**

**P.S My little sister was born in a van on an expressway in the middle of a snowstorm.**

**Fun fact.**


	18. Bliss

_**LAST CHAPTER. I know I said 30-40 in the beginning, but it just didn't work that way. lol**_

_**Please enjoy!**_

_**And review if you so choose. **_

_**If more than 20 people want a sequel about raising little Eli and the challenges that Clare and Eli face, I will write one.**_

_**Vann**_

Bullfrog was sprawled out carelessly on the loveseat, the upper half of his body thrown on the arm and his legs dangling unnaturally off of the opposite arm. A bottle of Jack Daniels was clutched in his right hand, and a joint was pinched between the thumb and index of his other hand.

"Happy…" He drawled out with great effort, all of his words running together sloppily, "first Christmas without-Eli-here… Cheers to many more!" He screamed before taking a long swig from the bottle.

CeCe was half-lying, half-sitting on his lap. She snatched the marijuana from his hand and inhaled deeply of it before bursting into laughter. "Happy last Christmas of not being "Grandpa Bullfrog.'" She poked him in the belly and planted a messy kiss on his face. "Gimme some of that Jack, Jackhole." Another fit of giggled erupted from her as she drank, and she spewed her mouth full of burning alcohol all over her husband's face.

Bullfrog laughed heartily as he wiped the substance from his eyes.

"You… freak…" He pulled her closer to him, so that she was completely lying on him, cuddled into his neck. "I just…I fucking love you, CeCe." He hiccupped and closed his eyes tiredly. "Night babe."

"Ni-"

The ring of their home phone interrupted the moment and Bullfrog rolled his eyes at the sound. Though he just wanted to pass out from his high and drunken stupor, he dragged himself from the comfort of the couch and moseyed unsteadily over to answer the call. They had been waiting for Eli to call and let them know that he and Clare were home safe, so the ringing wasn't unexpected. As he ripped the cordless phone off of the port, Bullfrog was blissfully unaware of just how memorable that phone call would be.

"Merry fucking Christmas dude!" He exclaimed to his only son as he tried to balance himself up against the wall. "CeCe and I are toasted!"

"That's great, dad." Eli slurred.

Bullfrog furrowed his brow and asked, "You're drunk too! It's a party! Woo!" CeCe whooped from across the room and laughed together.

"Not drunk. Morphine."

Bullfrog let out a dry laugh and suddenly felt like the room was spinning. "What?" He asked weakly. The smile that had been on his face previously was wiped off, and no remnants of the exciting evening remained in his features.

"We're in the hospital, dad. We got hit by a drunk driver."

Bullfrog felt as if his world had stopped, like someone had hit the brakes and time was unconnected to their situation. He was frozen in place, suddenly more sober than he'd ever been in his life. Coherent thoughts were gone. Words were gone. His life had gone from blissfully fun to terrifyingly real in a matter of seconds. His only son, the only daughter he'd ever known, and his unborn grandkid were in the hospital.

"We're okay, Bullfrog. Can you just come to the hospital?"

"O-o-of course kid." He stuttered. Normally, he would hound Eli for answers and try to make a dry joke or comment about a hard situation, but all he really wanted to do was see, with his own eyes, that his kids were okay. He didn't have time for jokes.

As Eli gave him directions and the hospital name, Bullfrog realized that his hands were shaking violently, and that he was much too drunk still to drive. He glanced over at CeCe and she was equally, if not more drunk than he.

As he jotted down the information, he realized there was one person who would be willing to drive them to the hospital at such a ridiculous hour on a holiday.

"See you soon, Bullfrog." Eli murmured tiredly from the other end. "I love you, dad."

Bullfrog choked up a bit and felt his eyes tearing up. "I love you too, kid."

He hung up and immediately dialed another phone number.

-()()()()()()()()()()()()-

Bullfrog and CeCe burst into the hospital room, panicked, sweaty and still quite intoxicated. They noticed that Eli and Clare lay in separate beds, but the beds were pushed together and their fingers were intertwined. Clare was on her side, facing away from the door and Eli was facing her, gripping tightly to her hand. Clare was fast asleep and Eli looked drowsy, but his eyes weren't yet closed.

When he heard the door handle slam into the wall, and saw his parents looking panicked, he chuckled and motioned for them to sit at the edge of his bed. CeCe gripped him into a tight hug and sobbed into his shoulder. "Baby, I'm so glad you're okay. What happened? I need to know everything."

Eli pulled out of his mother's death grip and whispered, "A drunk driver swerved into our lane and totaled the car. They had to use the Jaws of Life to get us out, but we're both okay. I have a concussion and Clare has a broken wrist. We're both covered in bruises, but everything else is fine."

He noticed the looks of utter relief on his parents' faces, and felt slightly guilty for making them worry so much. He and Clare had agreed that they wanted to surprise everyone with the baby, so he lured his parents to the hospital without divulging all of the details.

"What about the baby? Did they make sure the baby is okay?" CeCe pressed, looking over at Clare's sleeping form. With the blanket on her, her stomach was covered and it wasn't noticeable that the large bump was slightly flattened, much to Eli's relief.

"Yeah, the baby is fine. Everyone is fine." Eli assured her, holding back a grin. Little Eli was in the nursery, but he was due to be fed and would be brought in soon. He couldn't wait to see the excitement and shock on his parent's faces when they saw his son.

It had only taken moments for Eli to fall in love with the fragile little guy, and everything about him felt different after he held the boy for the first time. The attachment that he felt to Clare was intensified too; he was absolutely awe-struck by the fact that she'd given life to their child, and wanted nothing more than to protect the two of them at all costs.

He glanced over at his girlfriend and admired her peaceful features and smeared make-up. She'd been through the most painful experience of her life, and she still managed to look stunning and happy in her slumber.

Eli brought his attention back to his parents, listening to them prattle on about accidents and Christmas, and noticed that they were more giggly than usual.

"You guys are drunk, aren't you?" He asked. CeCe and Bullfrog started laughing even louder and Eli felt himself getting furious. "Your son just got hit by a fucking drunk driver, and you get behind the wheel drunk? What the Hell is wrong with you? We could have died. They told us that we're lucky to even be alive, and you have the audacity to c-""

They responded by laughing even louder. Bullfrog jumped off of the bed and to the door. "Chauffer, you can come in now."

Eli stared at the door confusedly as none other than Adam Torres strolled through. Eli practically jumped from his bed to hug his friend, and was met by terrible pain and stiffness. "Ow, fuck. Adam! Get over here, dude!"

Adam rushed over and the two shared a rough embrace, much to the dismay of Eli's physical condition.

"What the Hell are you doing here? Not that I mind, I mean, you finally took some time out of your busy schedule to see your best friend." He punched Adam weakly and chuckled.

"I'm just so damn popular, it's hard to fit you guys into my schedule." Adam teased. "Your parents called me because they were too shit-faced to drive themselves. No biggie, it's only 2am on Christmas…" Adam shot a playful glare at Bullfrog and plopped down on the bed. "So how's the fetus? Your reckless driving didn't screw everything up, right?" He was kidding, but Eli could detect the underlying worry in his joke.

"Everyone's fine, dude. Thanks for the concern."

At that moment, the door opened and a nurse came in, wheeling a tiny crib behind her. CeCe, Bullfrog and Adam turned to meet the gaze of a grinning nurse.

They looked back at Eli with confusion, and before any of them got a word in, Eli said, "Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that… During the accident, Clare kind of had the baby." Eli grinned at the looks on his parent's faces. The moment was absolutely priceless. The amount of noise that came from them was inhuman. CeCe screamed and started bawling, and Bullfrog roared with cheerful laughter, a few happy tears running down his scruffy cheeks. The nurse wheeled the baby between the two beds and smiled at the reactions. Bullfrog, CeCe and Adam immediately surrounded the crib, inspecting and cooing at the tiny little boy.

Gently, the nurse shook Clare awake and handed her the bundled boy. "It's time to feed your son, Ms. Edwards. It may hurt the first time, but you'll get used to it."

Clare rubbed her eyes tiredly and saw her guests. "Adam…" She smiled weakly, reached her hand out to grip his. "You made it in time to meet your godson." She beamed at him, emotion coursing from every inch of the room and making her teary.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Adam squeezed her hand back and pulled it to his mouth for an innocent kiss.

"Clare, he's beautiful." CeCe breathed, unable to contain the tears that flowed out of her eyes and trailed mascara down her cheeks. "What's his name?"

Clare and Eli looked at each other and Clare nodded at him, giving silent permission for him to boast about his boy.

"It's Eli."

CeCe put her hands up to her mouth and smiled through the thick tears. "It's perfect. My two Eli's. My two baby boys."

Bullfrog just stared at the little boy with awe and admiration. He was less outwardly emotional than his wife, but inside, he felt like he was about to burst. "Damn… Great job, son." He held his fist out to Eli and the younger Goldsworthy met it with a chuckle.

"Thanks, dad."

"Good job, beautiful." Bullfrog bent over and placed a kiss on Clare's forehead. "You're gonna be a damn great mom."

"T-Thank you." Clare stared down at her son and inspected each detail of his wrinkly face. His features were scrunched up, but she could still see traces of her and Eli prominently in them. He had a mess of black hair, and sweet little peach fuzzes on every other bit of his face. Eli's bow-shaped upper lip was clearly present, and Clare's pouty bottom lip. He had chunky cheeks and his nose was tiny and cute, like a little button. She couldn't wait to watch him grow, to see his first steps, hear his first words, and reach all of the milestones with him. No feeling in the world could compare to the warmth and joy that her firstborn son brought her, and he'd only been born a few hours before. She bit back a sob and stroked his plump cheek. "Mommy loves you, Elijah."

She looked at Eli, who had tears of his own streaming down. He smiled shakily and whispered, "I love you two more than anything else in the world."

Clare let a few of the drops fall as she mouthed, "Me too." She snapped out of her daze and looked up at CeCe. "Want to hold him before I feed him?"

CeCe nodded with more enthusiasm than any child on Christmas morning. She leaned over and grabbed him, noticing that Clare was too weak to lift him up to her. She left a light smooch on her grandson's forehead as she rocked him. "So," she whispered, not wanting to startle the baby, "what exactly happened?"

Clare lay back tiredly and waved her hand at her boyfriend, signaling that he can take the reins of the conversation.

Eli cleared his throat and braced himself to recap the epic tale that was his son's birth. "Well, as you know, we were hit by a drunk driver. I blacked out for a bit, and woke up to Clare screaming her head off. Long story short, I called 911, the operator told me to look for the baby's head. I did. It was there. Clare just _couldn't_ hold in her pushes…" He teased, smiling sarcastically at the drowsy girl. "So… I delivered him."

He'd never seen his parents' eyes get as big as they were in that moment.

"Are you fucking serious?" Bullfrog practically screamed in shock.

Eli nodded smugly and half-crossed his sore arms. "Yep, Dr. Eli delivered a baby while sporting a wicked concussion… Yes, you can have my autograph."

"You forgot to mention how you were crying, screaming and panicking the entire time." Clare laughed, provoking a mild glare from Eli. Adam chuckled and held his hand up to her for a high-five.

"Somebody had to lessen your ego." Adam smirked.

"Well, Clare was screaming and crying too." Eli huffed at them, feeling undignified by the reality check.

"Clare was in labor. She was supposed to scream and cry." Bullfrog corrected, also taking Clare's side.

"Well, I'm impressed with you, baby." CeCe fussed, squeezing Eli's hand with her free one. The baby fretted in her arms, emitting a shrill cry throughout the room. "Somebody's hungry." She sang, handing the little one back to his momma. "We'll let you feed him in privacy. Bullfrog and I need some coffee to sober up, and we promised Adam some food for driving us."

They all gave the baby one last lingering glance before shuffling out of the room. It was the first time since the birth that Eli and Clare were both alone and awake.

Clare looked at her son in bewilderment, her hands shaking nervously at the unfamiliar prospect of breast-feeding. Hesitantly, she lifted up her robe and put his mouth to her sore breast, letting him latch on for nourishment. The feeling was uncomfortable, but unlike anything else ever. She was feeding her son… She gave him life, and she was giving him sustenance. The connection between them was utterly unbreakable, and she felt invincible in those moments. As he nursed on her, Clare looked over at Eli with a pure awe shining in her eyes.

"It's w-weird. I'm feeding my own baby… _Our _baby. It's almost too much…" Her voice broke and she couldn't tear her gaze away from the child. "It-It was so scary, Eli. I didn't know if he was going to be okay…" She admired the slight suckling motions of the tiny lips and she let herself go. The tears that she'd so desperately fought were finally embraced, and the emotions caught up to her. "I always knew that I loved him, but it wasn't until that car hit us that I realized how much. I was so scared that he would be hurt or even…" She shook her head and held him closer, fighting the thoughts of past fears away. "Our little baby could have died, Eli… This amazing little life could have been taken away. I can't…" She clenched her eyes shut and soon felt arms around her shoulders. Her eyes opened slowly and she saw a very bruised and battered Eli next to her, sitting haphazardly on the edge of her bed. In any other situation, Clare would have sent him back to his own bed to rest. But in that moment, more than anything, she needed to be held by him. Gently, she leaned back into his embrace and let his warmth wrap around her.

He shushed her gently and ran his hand through her soft curls. He grabbed her chin and lifted her lips up to meet his in a brief but loving peck. "Clare, I promise that as long as I live, I won't let anything happen to you or our boy." He reached down and glazed the baby's cheek with his index finger. "

Clare saw the sincerity in his eyes, and for once, chose to believe his promise whole-heartedly.

After everything they'd faced together; all of the trials and tribulations, each and every fight and downfall, Eli and Clare seemed to reach the resolution. Neither of them could wonder if the peace would stay, if Eli would venture back to his days of cruel games and thoughtless words, or if their tiny family could survive the curveballs that life would surely throw their way. Those were thoughts and doubts for a different day, they both thought; a later day that may never even come.

She thought, for the first time in so long, that maybe happy endings _were_ possible in life.

And maybe little Eli would hold them together forever, keeping them happy, keeping Eli stable, keeping them a family.

And he thought that maybe the love he held for his little boy would be enough to heal him from his problems.

Maybe his personal demons were a thing of the past.

In the end, there was only one thing that the young couple knew for sure; that the 5 unholy pink plus signs were the best thing that ever happened to them.

**CORNY ENDING IS CORNY.**

**I just want to take a moment to say that you all have been absolutely fantastic. Each and every review/follow/subscribe and favorite warmed my heart, and it's been a pleasure writing for you and taking you along this Eclare journey.**

**If you want a sequel, let me know through a review or PM. I have a few ideas in mind that may be interesting. If not, I love you all and thank you so much for taking the time out of your lives to read my little piece of Eclare fiction. **

**Ugh, I'm getting emotional. Haha**

**Everybody, enjoy the new episodes starting Monday.**

**OUR OTP IS CANON ONCE AGAIN. **

***happy tears***

**Vann**


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